Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

jwil

Big hugs from me too. You are not moaning, you have lots of friends on here you can vent to at any time.

Remember I am not too far away if you ever fancy a little MSE meet. We are often down your way x

[Deleted User]

beanielou wrote: »

When I was on the higher dose AD's the side effects were greater but also I had to factor in I was also on quite heavy duty muscle relaxants which probably dident help.
The lower dose is just fine.
Lets just say my dad and I had a complex relationship.
Families!!!

I was only on ADs for a while but it was a pretty hefty dose and I felt numb. I suppose that's the point but there were no highs and no lows, just a sleepwalking state. I asked to come off them relatively soon and went medication-free because I was very fortunate to be offered various wonderful 'therapies' which really brought me out of myself. The very best was the drama therapy, a series of sessions run by the psychiatric nurse who was doing a course. I felt very inhibited at first but it was a very small group and the benefits to me were immense. definitely the turning point.


The worst part of it all was that during my time on the ADs my father died suddenly. I found his death didn't affect me at all:o, it was as if it was all happening to someone else. I couldn't cry or anything and recall being among large groups of grieving family and friends and observing it all as if I was on the outside looking in. I had told no one about my psychological state and treatment and they must have just viewed me as a really heartless and unfeeling daughter:eek:.It was only months later when I was AD-free that it all suddenly hit me and all the 'normal' emotions came flooding out.

Sun_Addict

Oh HH

It's all still raw and fresh, it will take a while before you start feeling better, especially with it being so unexpected. Just take it one day at a time, do whatever it takes to make it easier for yourself. One day you'll find the heartache isn't so bad but it will take time. I still think about my mum every day and it's been 18 years since I lost her.

Take care and please feel free to offload your thoughts on here xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

Grief is so personal dependent on those involved and the situation. There are no set guidelines so just go with what feels right for you.

When my Dad died, my overwhelming feeling was relief. He was an alcoholic and died of liver failure. I was very angry with him for a long time. It was years later when I truly grieved properly.

A new hobby sounds good when you are feeling more yourself Xx

HairyHandofDartmoor

jwil wrote: »

Big hugs from me too. You are not moaning, you have lots of friends on here you can vent to at any time.

Remember I am not too far away if you ever fancy a little MSE meet. We are often down your way x

Thank you Jwil that would be nice to meet up sometime when I feel more able to socialise.

HairyHandofDartmoor

carbootcrazy wrote: »

I was only on ADs for a while but it was a pretty hefty dose and I felt numb. I suppose that's the point but there were no highs and no lows, just a sleepwalking state. I asked to come off them relatively soon and went medication-free because I was very fortunate to be offered various wonderful 'therapies' which really brought me out of myself. The very best was the drama therapy, a series of sessions run by the psychiatric nurse who was doing a course. I felt very inhibited at first but it was a very small group and the benefits to me were immense. definitely the turning point.


The worst part of it all was that during my time on the ADs my father died suddenly. I found his death didn't affect me at all:o, it was as if it was all happening to someone else. I couldn't cry or anything and recall being among large groups of grieving family and friends and observing it all as if I was on the outside looking in. I had told no one about my psychological state and treatment and they must have just viewed me as a really heartless and unfeeling daughter:eek:.It was only months later when I was AD-free that it all suddenly hit me and all the 'normal' emotions came flooding out.

Your therapy sounds really good Carboot. They don't seem to offer anything like that here. It's true that I don't want to feel numb and AD do seem to do that. It was good to come to terms with your father's death eventually, but very painful for you.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Sun_Addict wrote: »

Oh HH

It's all still raw and fresh, it will take a while before you start feeling better, especially with it being so unexpected. Just take it one day at a time, do whatever it takes to make it easier for yourself. One day you'll find the heartache isn't so bad but it will take time. I still think about my mum every day and it's been 18 years since I lost her.

Take care and please feel free to offload your thoughts on here xx

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Grief is so personal dependent on those involved and the situation. There are no set guidelines so just go with what feels right for you.

When my Dad died, my overwhelming feeling was relief. He was an alcoholic and died of liver failure. I was very angry with him for a long time. It was years later when I truly grieved properly.

A new hobby sounds good when you are feeling more yourself Xx

Thank you both for being so kind. It really helps that people on here understand.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I'm having a slightly better day today.

I went to look around the charity shops and got an Elly Griffiths book. I bought bananas, satsumas, grapes and strawberries at Mr T and the fruit stall.

I've lost my appetite a bit lately so have lost seven pounds since my mum passed away. At least we're saving money on food! It helps that I daren't touch alcohol as I know it would just make me tearful at the moment. I can only drink alcohol when I'm happy or stressed, but it makes me feel terrible if I feel sad.

I bought a present to post to my sister's new grandson, a colourful monkey rattle in M&S for £10. Baby stuff is more expensive than I remembered!

When I got home I cleaned out the furry moron and we cut his long claws. He hates us doing it but he'll feel more comfortable now. DH is cooking now and I'm trying to relax.

I went for a long walk on Dartmoor yesterday with my stepdad and DS3. It's kind of therapeutic on the moors.

I hope other people are having a good weekend.

Sun_Addict

Take any positive day you can. Baby steps one day at a time. Glad you got your Saturday saunter, we've missed hearing about them I really do feel for you I know what it's like to lose your mum xx

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you SA.