Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

beanielou

My idea of stoic is just someone who keeps plodding on. My physio used to often say I was stoic 

Anyway. That is irrelevant. 

Just you keep on keeping on & take care of you xx

HairyHandofDartmoor

Sun_Addict said:

Perhaps once you know more about the way forward with BIL's treatment you'll settle a little.  It's the not knowing that's worse.  Once you know where you stand you can start getting things clear in your mind.  

Try not to overthink and just take it as it comes, I know it's easier said than done especially with all the other stuff going on right now.

Chrystal said:

HH accepting that there are some things that are totally beyond our control is the hardest thing any of us have to do, especially in these circumstances where it's impossible to be there in person to give support.

We've got to accept any positives there are and hopefully BIL is painfree and comfortable at home.  (((hugs)))

Nicnak said:

It's your diary so never apologise for putting how you are feeling. In any climate we all have up and down days so with everything going on, plus BIL, I would be surprised if you didn't feel down or have it on your mind. Hopefully finishing the assignment is something off your mind. You might not be happy in a sense, but at least it's one thing less to have to deal with or thing about. x

beanielou said:

Sending positive vibes for the treatment plan.

foxgloves said:

Aww, sorry to hear you sounding so low, HHoD. I can be a terrible overthinker & I know how what begins as perfectly normal & understandable levels of worry can spiral into so many layers of 'Why?', 'What if?' etc, each with a worst scenario than the last, until you can barely think of anything else. I try to tell myself kindly, but firmly "I'll deal with this when & if it happens" as up until then, there really isn't anything much within our control anyway.
I' m sure your poem choice was fine - it's just one of those days where feeling low anyway makes you have a bit of a downer on yourself.
A new day tomorrow. Hope you feel a little better. I felt very envious of your hard work in the kitchen. Mine desperately needs a deep clean & I keep putting it off. I feel quite inspired nowvat least to tackle cooker hood & cupboard doors.
Take care & have a restful evening,
F x

milann said:

I’m not surprised you are feeling so down - nobody deserves cancer - especially those nearest and dearest to us. It is never a good time to get your head around illness, treatment plans etc but in this totally alien time to us - everything is magnified. Lazy days are fine - get through a minute at a time if you need to.
Well done on the assignment work....how do you know you won’t get to use it in a school. It’s your ticket to get you into any school or supply list that has a vacancy.
Hang on in there.👍

elizabethhull said:

HairyHandofDartmoor said:

Once I'd done the poem I settled down to work on another college assignment. I've done half of it and I should be able to finish it tomorrow. But I don't feel particularly uplifted at having done half of it, because as I can't go to school and get the chance of working more hours it all feels a bit pointless ☹.

I think it's all too easy to see things as pointless at the moment.
I was looking up about Stoics, after a mention of them in the newspaper, and it would appear a fair bit of their philosophy is not a humourless putting up with stuff, but includes living in the moment. You can't change the past and the future hasn't happened yet, so you concentrate on a positive slant on the present - anything from a successful work session to a really enjoyable cup of coffee. Sounds about all most of us can manage these days !!
It doesn't help with bad news, like your BIL's situation, but it can give you a way of getting from day to day, hour to hour, or even moment to moment.
You do such a lot for others, HH, all of which things are their own point.

I hope you find a way through xx

Sunshine_girl2 said:

I hope you are ok HH and that you are supporting your sister from afar. 

Delichon said:

elizabethhull said:

HairyHandofDartmoor said:

Once I'd done the poem I settled down to work on another college assignment. I've done half of it and I should be able to finish it tomorrow. But I don't feel particularly uplifted at having done half of it, because as I can't go to school and get the chance of working more hours it all feels a bit pointless ☹.

I think it's all too easy to see things as pointless at the moment.
I was looking up about Stoics, after a mention of them in the newspaper, and it would appear a fair bit of their philosophy is not a humourless putting up with stuff, but includes living in the moment. You can't change the past and the future hasn't happened yet, so you concentrate on a positive slant on the present - anything from a successful work session to a really enjoyable cup of coffee. Sounds about all most of us can manage these days !!
It doesn't help with bad news, like your BIL's situation, but it can give you a way of getting from day to day, hour to hour, or even moment to moment.
You do such a lot for others, HH, all of which things are their own point.

I hope you find a way through xx

Really interesting facts about the Stoics, Elizabeth.  Your post made me recall a quote that I try to bear in mind whenever I feel I'm battling against things I have no power over.  I'm not religious myself but the idea of today being a gift  still holds true.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”
― Bill Keane   

Thank you all of you. There are some very kind people on here .

HairyHandofDartmoor

beanielou said:

My idea of stoic is just someone who keeps plodding on. My physio used to often say I was stoic 

Anyway. That is irrelevant. 

Just you keep on keeping on & take care of you xx

Thanks Beanie .

HairyHandofDartmoor

I felt a bit better yesterday, partly because I slept better and the sun was shining.

I finished my assignment and uploaded it, so seven assignments done and two to go (plus an observation but she may have to use last years if schools aren't open). It was a shorter assignment, but then I had to do lots of other fiddly bits like a reflective account to review my practice at school and say how I've analysed it and then improved it, an acccount of things I'd like to improve on and how to accomplish this with deadlines, and I also had to update my CV and upload it! But all done now and I've finally caught up with my course .

That took most of the day and then I did twenty minutes of Rosemary followed by ten minutes of Barbara and also put a wash on.

BIL also had his treatment plan and they're going to do chemo and radiotherapy all at his local hospital which is good.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Today was another warm sunny day. I went to Mr M, but DH was busy first thing and we didn't get there until 10am by which time there was a queue that snaked around three times 😟. However it moved quickly and inside the shop wasn't too bad as they limit people going in. I got most of what I wanted and spend £42.

I felt a bit miserable after that so I went for a brisk walk in the park. DH was working and DS1 didn't want to come, so I went on my own, but it did cheer me up as brisk walking relaxes me and so does nature 🌳🌿.

Then in the afternoon I cleaned the cupboard doors on the floor cupboards in the kitchen and then also cleaned the fronts of the dishwasher, washer and drier. They all look much cleaner so I'm pleased I've done it. Although the floor and skirting boards looks dirty now by contrast and I can see cobwebs around the ceiling. I also need to do the inside of the kitchen cupboards and the inside of the fridge another day 🙄. But anyway it's a work in progress and I'll just add those to my to do list, which never seems to get any shorter!

A nice surpise arrived in the post mid afternoon, it was a Bosch Tassimo Happy coffee maker. A late birthday/mothers day present from DS1 😀. He doesn't normally spend that much but it was  reduced from £99.99 to £29.99 at Currees/PC W0rld. He knew I was missing my Costalot lattes so it's really sweet of him . He also ordered eight latte pods which also came today. We tried it out and it made a lovely latte and then DH re-used the coffe pod to make himself a black coffe as he doesn't like it strong, so that mean two cups of coffee out of one pod. It can be our weekend treat. I have a very generous and thoughful son 😁.

BIL went to the hospital today for some radiotherapy on his back as the growth is near a nerve and they don't want him to be paralysed. He has to go back on Monday for some on his hip. I'm not sure when the chemo will start but I'm very pleased that they're treating him so quickly. I think it helps that the hospitals have cancelled all routine stuff and so have more capacity for this type of thing.

[Deleted User]

Reading your last post it's obvious that your mood has lifted a lot since earlier in the week.  The situation with BIL, whilst still causing you anxiety, is moving on in a positive way.  How fortunate he is to be receiving his treatment so near to home.  I know of so many people who have to attend distant hospitals for specialist ttreatments which must all add to the stress and fatigue for the patient and their loved ones.

Your coffee-maker sounds lovely and it was a very thoughtful gift for a coffee-lover like you.  It was an absolute bargain for DS  and it sounds as if you and DH can have a lot of pleasure in an economical way by reusing a pod.  Good for DH.

Well done on getting your assignment done and submitted especially when your mind must be anywhere but on course work.  I'm glad you didn't have to queue too long at Morrisons.  I know you always shopped at Tesco before and I think I may have mentioned something about Morrisons (where I shop when I visit a 'real' store) and you tried it a while ago but said you didn't like it for some reason.  You seem to be a fan now.  I'm using Sainsburys for most of my home deliveries, I haven't been out shopping for weeks.  I've even SORNed my car, might as well save a bit of money when things are in such turmoil. Someone did a survey recently and Sainsburys came out cheapest of the Big 4 which was a surprise as they had a reputation in the past for being a bit more expensive.   I can usually get a delivery slot there without having to book more than a week ahead.  There were some for Saturday online last night  so I nabbed one.  Morrisons is always 3 weeks ahead and Asda isn't much quicker.

Sorry, I'm rabbiting on.  That's what comes from being in lockdown just with DH LOL.  He's been AWOL down the garden all day working on something or other so I've had no one to talk to except you lovely people on here.  Nearly forgot, I won £25 on the Premium Bonds this month.  I don't reinvest it, any wins are for treats.  This is earmarked for some TLC for my scarecrow hair as soon as hairdresser's reopen.  I look a real fright!

doingitanyway

Sorry about your BiL, such a difficult uncertain time...
How kind and thoughtful of your DS to buy the coffee maker.
Glad you are keeping any PB wins as treats

milann

Your son has surpassed himself. Well done Hairy’s son. We have an nespresso but I’m sorry I didn’t get a tassimo. My friend has one and you can buy hot chocolate for them (I don’t like them but dh would) and she gets the Aldi coffee pods which are much cheaper and are lovely - I’ve had them when I visit. Enjoy - I’d be tempted to treat yourself with one more often than a weekend treat - a shame to waste a lovely machine 😜
it’s good they’ve started treating you BIL already 👏👏👏
......and well done on the assignments. 

Willowtree222

Lovely present from DS1. That's fantastic.
Great news about your assignment and glad BIL is being treated so quickly..x

HairyHandofDartmoor

Delichon said:

Reading your last post it's obvious that your mood has lifted a lot since earlier in the week.  The situation with BIL, whilst still causing you anxiety, is moving on in a positive way.  How fortunate he is to be receiving his treatment so near to home.  I know of so many people who have to attend distant hospitals for specialist ttreatments which must all add to the stress and fatigue for the patient and their loved ones.

Your coffee-maker sounds lovely and it was a very thoughtful gift for a coffee-lover like you.  It was an absolute bargain for DS  and it sounds as if you and DH can have a lot of pleasure in an economical way by reusing a pod.  Good for DH.

Well done on getting your assignment done and submitted especially when your mind must be anywhere but on course work.  I'm glad you didn't have to queue too long at Morrisons.  I know you always shopped at Tesco before and I think I may have mentioned something about Morrisons (where I shop when I visit a 'real' store) and you tried it a while ago but said you didn't like it for some reason.  You seem to be a fan now.  I'm using Sainsburys for most of my home deliveries, I haven't been out shopping for weeks.  I've even SORNed my car, might as well save a bit of money when things are in such turmoil. Someone did a survey recently and Sainsburys came out cheapest of the Big 4 which was a surprise as they had a reputation in the past for being a bit more expensive.   I can usually get a delivery slot there without having to book more than a week ahead.  There were some for Saturday online last night  so I nabbed one.  Morrisons is always 3 weeks ahead and Asda isn't much quicker.

Sorry, I'm rabbiting on.  That's what comes from being in lockdown just with DH LOL.  He's been AWOL down the garden all day working on something or other so I've had no one to talk to except you lovely people on here.  Nearly forgot, I won £25 on the Premium Bonds this month.  I don't reinvest it, any wins are for treats.  This is earmarked for some TLC for my scarecrow hair as soon as hairdresser's reopen.  I look a real fright!

Thank you Delichon . I do prefer Mr T but it's further away and hard to get online deliveries at the moment, so we're going to Mr M because it's just around the corner. I am discovering one or two things that are nice there, but I think I'm still a bigger fan of Mr T.

Well done on your premium bond win, I hope you can get your hair done soon .