Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor

I had to choose a poem and read out it out on video for school and email it to them. I did it this morning and they said they'd got it and thank you, but now I'm worried that the poem I chose is awful and unsuitable ☹. I think it shows the mood I'm in at the moment as I don't normally overthink things to this extent, but I do feel a bit grim at the moment.

Once I'd done the poem I settled down to work on another college assignment. I've done half of it and I should be able to finish it tomorrow. But I don't feel particularly uplifted at having done half of it, because as I can't go to school and get the chance of working more hours it all feels a bit pointless ☹.

I'm feeling very negative today as you can probably tell. I think I must be tired and BIL is getting his treatment plan today so I've got that on my mind. Sorry to be whingy ☹.

Sun_Addict

Perhaps once you know more about the way forward with BIL's treatment you'll settle a little.  It's the not knowing that's worse.  Once you know where you stand you can start getting things clear in your mind.  

Try not to overthink and just take it as it comes, I know it's easier said than done especially with all the other stuff going on right now.

Chrystal

HH accepting that there are some things that are totally beyond our control is the hardest thing any of us have to do, especially in these circumstances where it's impossible to be there in person to give support.

We've got to accept any positives there are and hopefully BIL is painfree and comfortable at home.  (((hugs)))

Willowtree222

It's your diary so never apologise for putting how you are feeling. In any climate we all have up and down days so with everything going on, plus BIL, I would be surprised if you didn't feel down or have it on your mind. Hopefully finishing the assignment is something off your mind. You might not be happy in a sense, but at least it's one thing less to have to deal with or thing about. x

beanielou

Sending positive vibes for the treatment plan.

foxgloves

Aww, sorry to hear you sounding so low, HHoD. I can be a terrible overthinker & I know how what begins as perfectly normal & understandable levels of worry can spiral into so many layers of 'Why?', 'What if?' etc, each with a worst scenario than the last, until you can barely think of anything else. I try to tell myself kindly, but firmly "I'll deal with this when & if it happens" as up until then, there really isn't anything much within our control anyway.
I' m sure your poem choice was fine - it's just one of those days where feeling low anyway makes you have a bit of a downer on yourself.
A new day tomorrow. Hope you feel a little better. I felt very envious of your hard work in the kitchen. Mine desperately needs a deep clean & I keep putting it off. I feel quite inspired nowvat least to tackle cooker hood & cupboard doors.
Take care & have a restful evening,
F x

milann

I’m not surprised you are feeling so down - nobody deserves cancer - especially those nearest and dearest to us. It is never a good time to get your head around illness, treatment plans etc but in this totally alien time to us - everything is magnified. Lazy days are fine - get through a minute at a time if you need to.
Well done on the assignment work....how do you know you won’t get to use it in a school. It’s your ticket to get you into any school or supply list that has a vacancy.
Hang on in there.👍

elizabethhull

HairyHandofDartmoor said:

Once I'd done the poem I settled down to work on another college assignment. I've done half of it and I should be able to finish it tomorrow. But I don't feel particularly uplifted at having done half of it, because as I can't go to school and get the chance of working more hours it all feels a bit pointless ☹.

I think it's all too easy to see things as pointless at the moment.
I was looking up about Stoics, after a mention of them in the newspaper, and it would appear a fair bit of their philosophy is not a humourless putting up with stuff, but includes living in the moment. You can't change the past and the future hasn't happened yet, so you concentrate on a positive slant on the present - anything from a successful work session to a really enjoyable cup of coffee. Sounds about all most of us can manage these days !!
It doesn't help with bad news, like your BIL's situation, but it can give you a way of getting from day to day, hour to hour, or even moment to moment.
You do such a lot for others, HH, all of which things are their own point.

I hope you find a way through xx

Sunshine_girl2

I hope you are ok HH and that you are supporting your sister from afar. 

[Deleted User]

elizabethhull said:

HairyHandofDartmoor said:

Once I'd done the poem I settled down to work on another college assignment. I've done half of it and I should be able to finish it tomorrow. But I don't feel particularly uplifted at having done half of it, because as I can't go to school and get the chance of working more hours it all feels a bit pointless ☹.

I think it's all too easy to see things as pointless at the moment.
I was looking up about Stoics, after a mention of them in the newspaper, and it would appear a fair bit of their philosophy is not a humourless putting up with stuff, but includes living in the moment. You can't change the past and the future hasn't happened yet, so you concentrate on a positive slant on the present - anything from a successful work session to a really enjoyable cup of coffee. Sounds about all most of us can manage these days !!
It doesn't help with bad news, like your BIL's situation, but it can give you a way of getting from day to day, hour to hour, or even moment to moment.
You do such a lot for others, HH, all of which things are their own point.

I hope you find a way through xx

Really interesting facts about the Stoics, Elizabeth.  Your post made me recall a quote that I try to bear in mind whenever I feel I'm battling against things I have no power over.  I'm not religious myself but the idea of today being a gift  still holds true.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”
― Bill Keane