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Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
Comments
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HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »I didn't sleep very well though because I found myself thinking about Mum and feeling sad
. It's probably because Mum and stepdad's house has had three viewings and I know I'm going to feel a great sense of loss when it's sold and someone else is living there
.
Today I've had a slight sore throat and have been feeling very tired.
I can understand how you feel about your Mum's house being sold. My siblings and I didn't have to sell our family home until after my Mum died and there was no other option but to do it. If I could have raised the money to 'buy out' the others I would have loved to have bought it myself. It was a lovely home, so full of wonderful family memories. Not only couldn't I have managed the loan repayments had I been able to buy it (DH was dead against the idea and we were strapped for money as it was) but it wasn't a feasible option for us to live there ourselves location-wise. It would have meant renting it out but at least I'd still have a connection.
After it sold I never went back anywhere near it, none of my siblings,friends or relatives still lived near there. Whenever I visited the Crematorium to lay flowers on special anniversaries I kept well away from the house. Until last year when for some strange reason I did drive past. I couldn't believe it as the new owners had turned a gorgeous, spacious 4 bedroom bungalow into a 2 storey house:eek:. They hadn't converted the loft, they'd actually built a full storey on:eek:. It was a very desirable place before but the stunning views were also a major selling-point and I think by building 'up' (complete with balconies outside the bedrooms on 2 sides) they were making full use of all its benefits. They must have plenty of money though to do all that and we didn't even have to accept an offer on our original asking price:j.
Seeing it when transformed was a good thing for me though. It had suddenly stopped being my old home and I could now stop imagining the strangers living in 'my' home. Does that make sense?
Sorry for cluttering again:o I hope you slept well, feel better and are all ready to meet the week head-on. Take care x0 -
Sun_Addict wrote: »Get yourself an early night and try to sleep off the sore throat. Drink loads of water - I do this to fight off the lurgy and it seems to do the trick. The down side is I'm forever going to the loo :rotfl:
.
Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS0 -
Finally_Solvent wrote: »I can understand how you feel about your Mum's house being sold. My siblings and I didn't have to sell our family home until after my Mum died and there was no other option but to do it. If I could have raised the money to 'buy out' the others I would have loved to have bought it myself. It was a lovely home, so full of wonderful family memories. Not only couldn't I have managed the loan repayments had I been able to buy it (DH was dead against the idea and we were strapped for money as it was) but it wasn't a feasible option for us to live there ourselves location-wise. It would have meant renting it out but at least I'd still have a connection.
After it sold I never went back anywhere near it, none of my siblings,friends or relatives still lived near there. Whenever I visited the Crematorium to lay flowers on special anniversaries I kept well away from the house. Until last year when for some strange reason I did drive past. I couldn't believe it as the new owners had turned a gorgeous, spacious 4 bedroom bungalow into a 2 storey house:eek:. They hadn't converted the loft, they'd actually built a full storey on:eek:. It was a very desirable place before but the stunning views were also a major selling-point and I think by building 'up' (complete with balconies outside the bedrooms on 2 sides) they were making full use of all its benefits. They must have plenty of money though to do all that and we didn't even have to accept an offer on our original asking price:j.
Seeing it when transformed was a good thing for me though. It had suddenly stopped being my old home and I could now stop imagining the strangers living in 'my' home. Does that make sense?
Sorry for cluttering again:o I hope you slept well, feel better and are all ready to meet the week head-on. Take care x
Thanks FS. Yes there are so many happy memories at Mum's old house. The children playing in the garden when they were tiny, spending Christmases and New Year eves there, garden parties my Mum and stepdad held, going there for tea every Sunday for the past thirty years or so, sitting in the garden chatting to my Mum on sunny days. I feel like the house is holding all those precious memories and the thought of strangers moving in is horrible
. I feel so sad that no new memories will ever be made there
But I can't hold on to the past and I know I have the memories inside my head and in photos. Having some of my Mum's furniture, pictures and ornaments is helping a bit to hold on to some memories.Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS0 -
I felt tired this morning despite sleeping well and my throat still feels a little sore
. The day was a bit trying because my ancient school laptop wouldn't turn on so I had to borrow the teacher's, then my lesson was interrupted as a class needed to use the room I was in, then it was heavy rain at lunchtime and all the children seemed very noisy and boisterous today. A combination of poor resources and poor weather made my day difficult, but I survived. I think a day when everything goes right is actually more unusual!
My sore throat is still the same but I'm not sneezing yet, so I had two satsumas when I got home and I'm going to try and take it easy tonight. It was freezing cold in the playground so I kept on the move to try and keep me warm, until heavy rain drove us indoors. I'm glad I've got a warm scarf and gloves.
I enjoyed filling in my timesheet anyway. I hope everyone has had a good Monday
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Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS0 -
Glad that you survived a tiring day.I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.
Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
"A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb. ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.0 -
HHoD - I can understand how you feel about your Mum's house. I was dreading the final visit I made to my Mum's house last summer because it had been our family home for so long - I was 6 when we moved in! I left home at 18, but of course all the family celebrations were still back in that house & we visited & went to stay often, plus had so many great Christmasses there.
But you know, when the time came to check around & lock the door for the final time, pull the car off the drive & hand in the keys at the estate agents, it didn't feel as bad as I expected. It was an empty house & it really did feel like it was now time for another family to move in & to make memories there like we did. It felt a lot less sad than when we first went there after Mum died. She only went into hospital with something routine & had an emergency while she was in there, & she never came out again. So walking into the house - well it was like the Marie-Celeste, HHoD.....her sewing project was next to her armchair, her shopping list & job lists were waiting to be done......that was the horribly hard part for us. Once the house was empty, it did feel that it was time to move on & for someone else to have it. I think it is probably a bit different for you because the house isn't empty, it has people living in it who are choosing to move & that is a little different, isn't it? Last year, I found it really helped when I planted up that little corner of garden near my courtyard & bench to be a winter garden in memory of Mum & Dad. Mum had a beautiful winter bed full of bulbs & hellebores just outside her dining room french doors & I did find it comforting to plant one of my own, especially as I rescued some of Mum's hellebores to bring back with me.
I'm glad you were able to choose some nice momentoes. I'm sure your Mum would have liked to think you'd got them to treasure.
F x2025's challenges: 1) To fill our 10 Savings Pots to their healthiest level ever
2) To read 100 books (36/100) 3) The Shrinking of Foxgloves 8.1kg/30kg
"Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards" (Soren Kirkegaard 1813-55)0 -
You have made me think this afternoon about how I will feel when I have to sell my mum and dads house. There will have been 4 generations that will have lived or visited the house . My parents have lived there for 50 years now , I agree the house is full of memories some good and bad. I have the option of living there if things go according to my parents wishes . I have no idea how I will feel ,something for the future .
Hope you get a good nights sleep and the sore throat goes no worse.Life is an adventure, never stop exploring.0 -
Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS0 -
HHoD - I can understand how you feel about your Mum's house. I was dreading the final visit I made to my Mum's house last summer because it had been our family home for so long - I was 6 when we moved in! I left home at 18, but of course all the family celebrations were still back in that house & we visited & went to stay often, plus had so many great Christmasses there.
But you know, when the time came to check around & lock the door for the final time, pull the car off the drive & hand in the keys at the estate agents, it didn't feel as bad as I expected. It was an empty house & it really did feel like it was now time for another family to move in & to make memories there like we did. It felt a lot less sad than when we first went there after Mum died. She only went into hospital with something routine & had an emergency while she was in there, & she never came out again. So walking into the house - well it was like the Marie-Celeste, HHoD.....her sewing project was next to her armchair, her shopping list & job lists were waiting to be done......that was the horribly hard part for us. Once the house was empty, it did feel that it was time to move on & for someone else to have it. I think it is probably a bit different for you because the house isn't empty, it has people living in it who are choosing to move & that is a little different, isn't it? Last year, I found it really helped when I planted up that little corner of garden near my courtyard & bench to be a winter garden in memory of Mum & Dad. Mum had a beautiful winter bed full of bulbs & hellebores just outside her dining room french doors & I did find it comforting to plant one of my own, especially as I rescued some of Mum's hellebores to bring back with me.
I'm glad you were able to choose some nice momentoes. I'm sure your Mum would have liked to think you'd got them to treasure.
F x
Thanks Foxgloves. That was exactly what happened to my Mum, she went into hospital unexpectedly and never came out. She had 'To Do lists pinned up, an unfinished novel by her chair, dates written on her calendar that she expected to attend, and all kinds of unfinished things. It really was like the Marie Celeste
. It is sad that stepdad is moving out and selling it, partly because he is choosing how to dispose of my Mum's things. So I have to keep asking for things and some things he has given to my aunt or other people that I would have liked (like a family bible)
.
But stepdad has said yes to most things I've asked for luckily so I do have some very precious items to remind me of my Mum. She was the opposite of a minimalist and treasured her pictures, photos, ornaments, etc, as they all held precious memories for her. So I know she would feel pleased that I'm rescuing some of them. She would have hated them all to go to strangers.
Maybe when the house is empty and sold I will be able to have closure and move on. I'm still at the stage of wanting to rescue things at the moment.Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS0 -
Sunshine_girl2 wrote: »You have made me think this afternoon about how I will feel when I have to sell my mum and dads house. There will have been 4 generations that will have lived or visited the house . My parents have lived there for 50 years now , I agree the house is full of memories some good and bad. I have the option of living there if things go according to my parents wishes . I have no idea how I will feel ,something for the future .
Hope you get a good nights sleep and the sore throat goes no worse.
Thanks Sunshinegirl. It will be a very personal decision for you at the time. Do think your parents would be pleased at the thought of you living there?
Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS0
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