Rights of adult kids in family home

aneary

saajan_12 wrote: »

It is an adjustment, sure but perfectly fair to charge more than the tiny bit of bills extra from housing them. The same way that two sharers or a couple might split the rent in half even though the marginal cost of going from 1 to two people is a tiny increase in bills.

Further, the mother may not need such a big property, so may be able to move to a smaller property with lower rent. For example 3 bed to 1 bed probably will half the rent so she may not face an increase albeit move costs.

It's a council house there is a massive issue with getting a 1 bedroom council flat/house across the country as demand outstrips supply since the bedroom tax came in.

The mother may have an issue if she does in fact have a 3 bedroom property and is on any sort of benefits once the children move out.

elsien

Would any of the family members telling you it's a midlife crisis be prepared to put you up on a temporary basis while you look elsewhere, if it comes to it?

PersianCatLady

comeandgo wrote: »

Move out and give your poor mum a break. I could not imagine anything worse than my two adult daughters living with me.

You seem very entitled and I think that the fact that you think that you might have rights over your mother's home is disgusting.

getmore4less

What's happened to the stepdad can he put them up.

We have no idea of the financial situation of the mum.

the rent stopping and her asking for the new BF to make up the shortfall might trigger something.

At the age these siblings are don't they have special friends they share part of their lives with that can help out.

Suffolksteve1

I'm curious as to what an "adult kid" is? Surely you're either an adult? Or a kid? You can't be both of them, by the time you hit 27 you should probably be acting like an adult and not wondering what legal rights you have to live at your mothers house, you are an adult, act like one.

zagubov

As our lives are getting longer, and more importantly as society is becoming more fragmented and complex, it's taking more and more time for us to learn how to adjust to it.

Vectis

26 and 27? Dear god, time to leave home and leave your mum to live her life in peace.

TheGardener

Vectis wrote: »

26 and 27? Dear god, time to leave home and leave your mum to live her life in peace.

That's as maybe - but 3.5 million 20 to 35 year olds still live with their parents or have returned to live with them. There are of course the obvious reason such as the high cost of rent/saving for a deposit.
Given that in many cultures, children staying in a family home (along with other extended family members) is the norm - I don't think its fair to declare that all children should leave! Many act as carers for parents and other family members and are the main bread winners in some cases.

The crux of the OP's post is that they have no 'legal rights' to stay and the advice to look for a flat or house share somewhere is probably the best at this stage - but declaring your children more or less parasites for still being in the family home in their twenties is not taking into consideration the benefits (which in this case appears to have a financial benefit for the mother)of multi-generational households. I have had older children at home and it was fine - in it worked well for all of us.

Red-Squirrel_2

TheGardener wrote: »

That's as maybe - but 3.5 million 20 to 35 year olds still live with their parents or have returned to live with them. There are of course the obvious reason such as the high cost of rent/saving for a deposit.
Given that in many cultures, children staying in a family home (along with other extended family members) is the norm - I don't think its fair to declare that all children should leave! Many act as carers for parents and other family members and are the main bread winners in some cases.

The crux of the OP's post is that they have no 'legal rights' to stay and the advice to look for a flat or house share somewhere is probably the best at this stage - but declaring your children more or less parasites for still being in the family home in their twenties is not taking into consideration the benefits (which in this case appears to have a financial benefit for the mother)of multi-generational households.

People in their twenties get such mixed messages these days too. In another thread at the moment a graduate looking for a houseshare is described as a 'kid' wanting to 'play house'!

moneyistooshorttomention

I guess the "mixed messages" are down to the fact that people are adult once they reach 18. On the other hand - traditionally 21 was deemed to have reached adult age (I can recall growing up knowing I wouldnt be deemed adult until I reached 21 - and then being very pleased that that changed to 18 before I got to 18:D).

That's the thing - ie our generation (Baby Boomers) were the first ones to have an automatic expectation that we would "leave home" once we reached adulthood. That applied even if we didnt get married. I remember having/following that "automatic expectation" myself and duly moving out at 21 (ie when even my parents couldnt dispute I was definitely an adult).

I regard all adults (even those of 18) as adults and should have full adult set of rights and responsibilities. So it's obvious to me that, of course, one moves out somewhere between 18 and 24/of course one gets full income from 18 onwards (be it salary or dole money).

I think it's equally obvious to the vast majority of us in the Boomer generation that that is how things are and it's ridiculous not to be entitled to full income until 25(?) and totally ludicrous not to be entitled to full housing benefit (if applicable) until 35!!!!!!

But things possibly look a bit different and some may have a very different concept of what is "obvious" in a younger generation - because of the Government's attitude of not treating people as fully adult until they get to 35:eek:. I find that Government attitude really odd - but I guess some people have adopted it as their "personal mentality/what they think is obvious" and it sounds as if OP/sibling have that mentality.

So I can understand a little why OP/sibling feel they have an entitlement they clearly don't have as regards staying in their parents home - because the Government still regards them as "children" even at their age. The Government is wrong.

....and, yes, I agree that OP/sibling are both over 24 and so have been adults for over 6 years and have to be paid as adults for the last year or two of that time and so it's time to move out and get independent housing (even though the Government won't agree with me until they get to 35 - when they'd accept they must be paid full housing benefit if need be).