No "T" words mentioned at all - the continuation thread

Floss

Fuddle why would we be cross? We gave advice which you read, took on board and used along with your DH's experience and wishes to make your own decision to move forward. We didn't tell you what you should do xx

scottishminnie

Fuddle, nobody could possibly be cross. It's not about what any of us would do because everyone's circumstances are different. Only you know what's best for your family and that's exactly how it should be.

The leopard won't change their spots so you call the shots and handle it on your terms, however that may be. Your friends here will always be here for moral support with no judgement

pollyanna_26

Floss wrote: »

Fuddle why would we be cross? We gave advice which you read, took on board and used along with your DH's experience and wishes to make your own decision to move forward. We didn't tell you what you should do xx

Floss is right . You've considered things and been the mature person in the situation which is a brave thing to do .
I'm pleased to read the girls wont be seeing her or others alone . The big red line was when MIL tore your character to bits in front of the girls while neither of you were present . When challenged she tried to shift the blame onto your daughter . Children in the playground do that , mature and honest grandma's don't .
She seems to believe she's right and not to be challenged although lying about the incident means she knew she was out of order .
Well done for holding out the olive branch . I really hope there is a way for at least a polite and mature sort of family set up . I doubt she'll change her thinking but we'll live in hope .
Take care

polly xxxx

[Deleted User]

Well Missy, yet again I'm so totally proud of YOU! what you did last night in making that Oh so difficult phone call was not only totally adult and responsible but also noble in the extreme. Give yourself top marks for being a better human being than MIL on all fronts. It doesn't matter what she thinks happened, embroidery of the facts doesn't change the truth, let her say you shouted if it makes her easier to deal with, you and we know you didn't. What really counts is that you were brave enough to hold out the olive branch and she has taken it. Draw your line and move forward but with caution and an eye to protecting you and yours from now on. I think you win hands down and so from the sounds of it does your DH! Bless you, you're worth more than rubies! xxx.

ivyleaf

fuddle - What Lyn said. :T

LaineyT

Have only just caught up on the thread and all I can say is wow, you are one strong woman Fuddle who has done what's best for the people she loves the most and that's all that matters. Let the karma of the universe deal with MIL and her various exaggerations & game playing, she knows in her heart of hearts that she is in the wrong and the wee small hours will no doubt find her mulling that over. Take care of yourself x

Nargleblast

Fuddle - you did what you thought was the right thing. Doesn’t matter if she interpreted it the way she wanted to hear it, I reckon you could have told her black was black and she still would have heard black with pink spots and sparkly bits. Let it go. Someone had to wear the Big Girl’s pants, and this time it was you.

And well done your DH for showing he’s got a pair by standing together with you. Some blokes wimp out when there’s discord between wife and mum.

I think you know that you could win the lottery and give it all to mum in law, or dive into a raging torrent and save Jonesy from drowning, and it wouldn’t matter a bit - to them you would still be the nasty awkward baggage married to your DH. You can’t win em all, so just be yourself - your girls I am sure can see the truth, and will make their own choices as they grow up.

Now crack on sorting your health issues out!

fuddle

Yes it's gone! I don't know much about blood pressure but the day after all the rubbish above my BP at the surgery was 149/100. The GP wasn't too happy with that. This morning my BP was 117/77. Nargle you'll have a better idea than I do but to me it's gone down once I calmed down. It's shown me how my body just can't cope with stress at all.

I've been a bit needy with you all of late. You've helped me through another accumulation of episodes and I hope that life will give us all a bit of a rest now. What do fuddle's do when fuddle's are on the path of recovery? They sort through their pantry!

I've finally got ahead on the nut, seed and dried fruit cupboard. The family know they may help themselves as long as it's no more than a handful of any category every day. I've got as much transferred to glass jars as possible. I'm off to Ikea on Sat so will get more jars. This way of living is very expensive and finding organic produce is a nightmare with a price tags that I'm not used to budgeting for. I just can't wait until I can have my plot producing to save money and build up other stocks of basics.

Also, not being happy with the indigestion when drinking tea situation I am determined to get to the bottom of whether it's tea or milk. I have so far had 4 cups of black tea (save me!) and no indigestion of yet. I've 10 days left on my elimination diet to heal my tummy and once that's past I will try eating dairy again to see.

So I'm ok. By the way I wasn't brave I don't think. I think I was being a selfish two faced fibber putting on a show so as my family didn't blame me for regrets in their relationships with MIL should something awful happen in the future. I acted to protect myself really. But I won't bore you any longer. I'm shushed!

Floss

Fuddle when you go back to dairy, consider lactose-free milk rec. I know cream upsets my innards IYKWIM

whiteguineapig

fuddle
i have just stopped drinking coffee (i have reflux ) as i thought it was upsetting me
i now have
1 cup of coffee for breakfast (decaf) and then the rest of the day on boiled hot water
my tummy is thanking me! although i did have a bit of "withdrawal"

editing to add that i suppose i meant caffeine really but i wanted to give up both decaf and regular coffee , i'v compromised on 1 per day (decaf)