No "T" words mentioned at all - the continuation thread

[Deleted User]

Stand your ground pet, she'll know she has stepped over that acceptable line and will end up thinking better of you if you don't back off now. The girls won't understand the whys of it but make absolutely certain that they know they can't arrange to go out without your permission anywhere, certainly with another adult even if you do know them. MIL ought to have known better, she's in the wrong NOT letting you know and getting your OK in the first place. Damn people eh?

pollyanna_26

I second what Lyn has said Fuds , you are the parent and things should be put to the parents first . This was brewing anyway and at some point was bound to cause upset again . If she can't be honest over Jones and anything else she isn't trustworthy . I'm angry she's once more crossed a line and upset the day for you all .

See if you can turn the day around , it's bitterly cold here but the sun is shining . I don't now if there is a park or something nearby , it's not Christmas shopping and the girls wont be happy but maybe a walk together will lift the atmosphere a little . You're doing the right thing . Your girls don't need to be piggy in the middle while mil does her own thing ignoring their parents role .

PS One final Car Share episode to finally give us an ending to the tale . There is also an unscripted double act between the two main characters . Some time next year not sure when .

pollyxxxx

fuddle

She's made such a bad call in this I just don't think I can trust her to make the right call when she is responsible for the girls. The trust was tainted to start with now I just find the situation completely alien to what I think the norm is.

The worst part, because we live in such a small house, the girls heard every word of it. They are extremely switched on and know everything anyway (that stems from having to explain their grandma's behaviour when she had had a drink. I am brutally honest with the girls and use situations as learning experiences, rightly or wrongly but I was always kept in the dark and 'protected' as a girl and that wrecked my psychological state.) They understand. Eldest knows she was wrong to not tell me sooner about the long text thread this morning. Youngest sees me upset and just wants me to be ok. They've both made mug cakes this morning but they are bored. These things always happens when DH is fishing and we're not able to just get away.

We had such a good day yesterday as well. We took the girls to the cinema. DH took eldest to watch Ragnorok and I took youngest to see Paddington 2. I hate the cinema so it's not something we do but the girls don't really get treats aside from National Trust/English Heritage/the Lakes and the Dales and the caravan. From my point of view that is more of a childhood that I had but sometimes they yearn for something else. I said I would make it up to them for today and the annoying thing is there's a Christmas Market on in the Dales but I can't get there as the bis changes would be a nightmare and expensive. Sometimes I think I really should have my own car but ordinarily I do manage quite happily on my feet. Sorry, my thoughts are all over the place.

The car share ending was disappointing for sure. Not everything in life has a happy ending but where viewers have tuned in for laughs and to see a blossoming nice relationship develop and it doesn't in a ridiculous way it takes away the whole fun of the two series. I normally couldn't give two hoots about endings but PK was so good at reeling us in I just can't help feel a bit cheated... but I'm still cross with him for not doing anymore Pheonix Nights and we know I hold a grudge! :rotfl:

pollyanna_26

It's much healthier to be open and honest with the girls when possible .
You're teaching them about reality and how to cope with situations life may throw their way . You are a good mum and don't let anyone make you question those mothering instincts .
I hope they are now occupied . It sounds as though you all had a lovely day yesterday and damn that woman for upsetting today .
I don't know if the girls bother much with films but I noticed CH4 is showing Mr Poppers Penguins at 3pm . If they would like it maybe you could snuggle down near the stove together to watch . It's only 1 hr 50 mins long so should fill a gap .

Keep plodding love you are on the right road .

polly xxxx

Nargleblast

Fuddle your mother in law must be thick as two short planks if she thinks it is acceptable to make social arrangements with the girls without consulting at least one of their parents first. For all she knew you might have had plans already!

fuddle

Ha! MIL knows when DH is fishing I don't have a life. I think that is part of the problem. I don't have any independence and means to get about. I don't have friends here or a social life. I have my home, my DH, my allotment out the back and that is it. If DH isn't here I'm sure as heck will be and I suspect she hasn't thought the need to ask because it's a given I have nothing on without a Sunday bus service. Still, it's not right.

Ah I've only just seen Mrs Popper's Penquin. film missed Polly. The day has been ok. I showed them how to pop popcorn in the pan which they liked. I printed some Christmas pics for youngest and some mandelas for eldest to colour. Both are bathed and supping hot choc waiting for their dad to come in which I have just heard has won £50 fishing. I've started a SC full of bone broth for my lunches next week and changed some kitchen cupboards around ready for healthier cooking ingredients.

We are but simple folk really.

Floss

Fuddle big hug from Blackpool for you and your girls - you are making positive memories for them which really matters xx

pollyanna_26

Sounds as though you had a good day after all . Simple is good . Worth keeping an eye out for Christmas tv films for days when you haven't plans or weather is rubbish , always lots on this time of year .
Well done to your husband for the fishing win . I imagine he'll be tired when he gets home but when you both come to discuss today's problem is it worth making weekends family time whether your husband is there or not ? The girls need time to wind down and be with you , this term is always the one when weather and the excitement of the run up to Christmas takes it's toll .
Hopefully as you settle into the charity shop you'll get to know the locals better . The thing is you don't need to always be taking the girls out , they can have a good time at home . We used to do lots of little Christmas activities indoors which as you were in childcare you'll be used to that . Stars , Hearts and Snowflakes with fimo . Used to be homemade dough but the fimo have lasted for years . Little cross stitch decorations . They're still part of the tree decades on . You can do a lot with cookie cutters and some aida and threads .
polly xxxx

Floss

Fuddle pollyanna's post about cookies reminded me that I have spare sprinkles and cupcake cases, and I think a few duplicated cutters. If you would like them you are very welcome to pm me x

scottishminnie

Nargleblast wrote: »

Fuddle your mother in law must be thick as two short planks if she thinks it is acceptable to make social arrangements with the girls without consulting at least one of their parents first. For all she knew you might have had plans already!

If I could thanks this a dozen times I would. Fuddle, I couldn't agree more with Nargleblast. Regardless of what the intention was making arrangements directly with the girls is absolutely not on.
It's also good that you are being open. I grew up in a family which lurched through various rifts. My parents and their siblings / in laws are now reconciled but I feel much of my teenage years were clouded by not being allowed to speak to this one and that one and I never really knew why.

Been a busy few days here. Hubby has twisted his knee so I'm dishing out ice packs, ibuprofen and sympathy. One thing is for certain, Florence Nightingales memory has nothing to fear from me - I would never have made it in a "caring" profession:o

Have made a lemon sponge with lemon buttercream icing to take to the office tomorrow. I had a clear out in my store cupboard and found some jars of lemon curd so that used up half of one.

I had a bit of a mishap earlier. Was dusting in the bedroom and I have three graduated Mercury glass candle holders on a tall chest of drawers. The dust cloth caught the tallest one of them and before I knew it it was on the floor in pieces. I was most annoyed with myself. I really liked them and have been so careful as they were very fragile.

I'll have to go rummaging up in the loft next weekend to see what I can replace them with as the remaining two look a bit odd on their own.

I'm south again this week, hopefully the last for the year so I hope it's warmer down there. I'm also thinking of picking up some Fortnum and Mason coffee and cookies when I'm in the airport. I always give hubby's aunt flowers at Christmas as she has been very supportive to me since we married (to be honest I see her as more of a mother in law and she has always seen me as one of her daughters in law, along with the others). Anyway she has one of those houses which is very busy, especially over the holidays so I was thinking nice coffee, hot chocolate and biscuits may be better than flowers (which are nice but she receives lots of) - what do you all think ? I'm inclined to be a bit seduced by fancy tins - that's why I'm asking! Was thinking if I popped them in a nice Fortnum and Mason shopping bag she could use it again and again.

Fuddle - just noticed you saw Paddington 2 - I'm looking forward to it. Childless so no excuse to go and no nieces/nephews of an appropriate age but I really like Paddington and his story. In fact for my 30th birthday I received a Paddington, prspendent on his duffle, hat and wellingtons (complete with luggage tag of course). He lives in the corner of my very posh formal lounge and generates much discussion when people visit for the first time.