The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

monnagran

burtha, was there a reason Gitface wouldn't accept the offer? He is surely not holding out for the asking price? No one these days expects to get the asking price, its all a game, you dropping your price a bit and them upping their offer a bit until you meet in the middle. Does he not understand this?

You do what makes you comfortable my love. If you want to run, run. If you don't want to run, don't run. If you want to cry, cry. And stamp and scream and swear. It's all allowed.
You are not whingeing, you are telling us how you feel and that's not only allowed, its obligatory.
Don't you dare go putting on a brave front to us, we won't have it.

As regards credit, its amazing how quickly that can build up again. It doesnt feel like it at the time but when you look back you will be surprised at how quickly things sort themselves out once you start.
You say that you've had a mortgage since you were 18. Does that mean that you put a good part of the deposit down on your present home? If so I hope that is reflected in your financial settlement.
If you agree on an offer and he continues to drag his feet it won't look good for him.

Courage dear burtha. One step at a time remember.

pandamonium

Burtha, exactly what Monna says. Which bit of the accept a lower offer v repossession does Gitface not understand? I'm angry on your behalf. You are holding on though. You have come this far, you can see it through. Things will be much better once it's resolved. You are a better woman than me if you just run and cry. I think I'd have lamped him one by now.

pollyanna_26

monnagran wrote: »

burtha, was there a reason Gitface wouldn't accept the offer? He is surely not holding out for the asking price? No one these days expects to get the asking price, its all a game, you dropping your price a bit and them upping their offer a bit until you meet in the middle. Does he not understand this?

You do what makes you comfortable my love. If you want to run, run. If you don't want to run, don't run. If you want to cry, cry. And stamp and scream and swear. It's all allowed.
You are not whingeing, you are telling us how you feel and that's not only allowed, its obligatory.
Don't you dare go putting on a brave front to us, we won't have it.

As regards credit, its amazing how quickly that can build up again. It doesnt feel like it at the time but when you look back you will be surprised at how quickly things sort themselves out once you start.
You say that you've had a mortgage since you were 18. Does that mean that you put a good part of the deposit down on your present home? If so I hope that is reflected in your financial settlement.
If you agree on an offer and he continues to drag his feet it won't look good for him.

Courage dear burtha. One step at a time remember.

This burtha and the other good advice you've been given .


At some point very soon it will either be a forced sale which doesn't give 3MW any room to refuse any offer or the building society will take possession in a few months.


He has to be living in cloud cuckoo land . There are two of you on the deeds and the purpose of the exercise is to sell the house and both move on with some money to start again . He's hanging on to control and hard as things are for you he can't be allowed to spin this out . Have you been in touch with your solicitor to let him know this has happened? You have an equal say in fact you have care of the children which is a strong argument for seeing this done and dusted and the three of you given the chance to find a home and try to start some form of healing and settling into your new home .


If you feel like running run . If you're tired and weary try to find a little time each day for headspace ( I know that's easier said than done ) I don't know what your weather is like it's been horrible here for the last few days . If you get a chance stargazing for a little while if you can see the stars is a good way to lose yourself for a bit .


You're nearly there burtha and you will come through this . As others have said post as much as you want when you want It's not whinging , moaning or anything like that .
The internet is a wonderful place to be when there are friends holding you up and wishing you well . A fair number of us would have valued that support in the past but didn't have somewhere like here to be listened to without nastiness .


You've mentioned again your head hurts . I'm not sure if you mean from the stress but are you keeping an eye on your health and still having the checkups? You need to look after yourself as well as everyone else .
Xxx


Sorry I've been MIA again , too much going on . I was going to aim for an early night but ended up trying to keep my eyes open to watch Fergies return to Old Trafford on MOTD . It was near the end so I decided to pop on here for a brief catchup .


Hope everyone is ok and Storm Callum stays clear .



I noticed The Saints were beaten by Liverpool today Monna . I was watching Jeremy Corbyn who was at the match . Anyway 3 of my offspring will sleep happy tonight knowing their team are forging ahead . Youngest and I are hoping the chosen one will go elsewhere!
Take care all
polly x

burtha

Hi ,
Yes I ran 13.5 miles , it was good , through the woods ,up 2 very big hills , stopped to look at some flowers , worked out how I could have been with a cold dead person for so long .... and if the hit man would take payments in kind :D .
So ran till I had to be mums taxi again , ..
House was cold as I hadn't managed to light the fire before I went out , so bathed at my mums ... sad when the thought of having a bath and being normal brings you out in tears ... what's normal anymore
Ex ?... prat , at first he put the house on the market at over 70 k more than the agents said , so slowly we are now marketed at the top end of the asking price, so offers are coming in at the lower end of the asking price .... no way would we get the top price .... but hes hanging on ..... even though we are hanging on by a thread away from repossession order ..... crazy
my next step is court to agree the selling price ..... I need out , need kids safe , warm,hot water ,normal stuff, ... but can't do anything till we gave a accepted offer ,
All of this of course he's not bothered about , he living in a brand new build expensive house , bought and paid for in cash by his lovely lady , ... so morgage/ rent free ....
and what does he pay me , from his well paid job .... nothing , just rufusing to .... is in the process of getting sorted via csa ... how long , who knows ....
so plod on , keep running ....
to tonight after I'd sorted kids I went along the bar , I haven't been for a long time , hide out the way , to tired to explain anymore , scared to burst into tears , they care....
and tonight I had a soft drink , and got told of everyone I'm to thin .... I'm I eating .... i haven't lost weight ... same as I was a year ago , but now I'm muscle not fat , and my face is thin , because it's been a cr** week , rubbish few weeks and I'm flipping tired ... but I'm physically the fitness I've been in years ... and thats what's keeping me sain ....
that and the fact I know I'm a decent person , ex will get his karma , hopefull when his new lady realises shes the cash and probably not much else .
oh and the money from my house sale , was used in this place .... means nothing extra in the divorce .... and because the morgage is well into arrears , there is not much money left from the "sale" , so anything I get will be used eventually for a new house .... but if repossession happens , we may loose it anyway or even owe ...
keep running
x

burtha

Mri scan December , consultant beginning of Jan .
Headache is the normal everyday one , can be worse at times , stress ? Probably, running about like a idiot , probably, ...just keeping my fingers crossed, I don't have the time or the headspace for anything else x

monnagran

burtha, its amazing how people you think you know, can change character overnight if they have a fancy to. I hope Gitface realises that by not giving you any money now he will have massive arrears to make up later.
I do hope that your solicitor is aware of how difficult he is being over the sale of the house, which doesn't affect him one jot. All this is not making him look good.
Glad you managed to go back to the bar. It was a big part of your life for so long and it sounds as though you have a lot of people on your side there. You need that support my dear.
Keep going and try not to look back. You're not going that way.

Polly. My dad was a life long supporter of Southampton, obviously. At his funeral he went out to "When the saints come marching in."
My DS1 supported Liverpool, still does.
When Southampton and Liverpool played each other the telephone calls between Dad and his grandson were hilarious. It was not unknown for a black armband to be sent to the loser.

THOUGHT FOR SUNDAY

The kingdom of God is not for the well meaning, but the desperate.

mardatha

Burtha can you not get somebody local, a friend, to come over once a day and light the fire for you? xxx

candygirl

LameWolf wrote: »

Burtha if you can't whinge here, where can you? That's what we're all here for, mutual support. What a total pain re mortgage situation.
I hope you were able to have your run, and that it dispelled the headache. x

I've just come in with a slightly soggy Staffie (current guest) and a not-very-happy DH as he hates getting wet, but won't let me take Bluebell on my own as she kicks off if she sees another dog. Poor love, she's scared of other dogs - think she may have been bullied in the rescue centre before she found her Forever Home.
Anyways, I've toweled her down, explained to her that we can't play ball in the garden in the pouring rain, and now she's chillin' on the sofa.

LW a lot of staffy !!!!!es are gobby mares:rotfl: .Both mine have been, n yet my boys are very laid back :DAnother point us that she possibly feels protective of you x

LameWolf

That's a good point, Candygirl. She's an intelligent dog, and it likely hasn't escaped her notice that I can't walk lots like her other humans; and even in the garden, I stand in the middle, and she does the running around. So yes, she may well be protecting me.

Thankfully the sun is shining this afternoon, so we've had a lovely walk (including a quick diversion to avoid running into an unknown-to-me lurcher) and she's had a good long dash around the back garden to wear some energy off her.

She's leaving on Tuesday - I've just been in touch with her Mum's SiL who will be collecting her - but she'll be back the following Tuesday for another 6 nights.

I couldn't have her for the whole time as I already had Bessie Spaniel booked in for a week, so her Mum's DD is having her for just the week. A bit complicated, as we're doing a swap over of dogs on the same day, but we have the timings all organised, so should go smoothly *crosses fingers*.

burtha

Morning,
Ran 10 mile yesterday
Was fun
More people viewing the house today ....