The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

VJsmum

monnagran wrote: »

Well Crystal......I dunno..........I mean........just how batty are you?

There are a few questions to answer before we'll let you in.

a) Do you roll your left trouser leg up before clicking on this forum?

b) Have you polished your rolling pin?

c) Do you customarily meet your best beloved from work wearing a PVC mac, high heeled shoes and NOTHING ELSE?

d) Would a teaspoonful of kale poison you?

e) How are your elephant riding skills?

f) If Nursie engaged in mortal combat with Henri d'Vac who do you reckon would win?

g) Write a short essay, 5,000 words minimum, on the subject of jellybabies.

If your replies are satisfactory we will welcome you with open arms and a limp handshake.

hugs.

let's see how i measure up
a) obviously
b) it's wooden - can you polish wood? (Ooh err missus, steady Hester)
c) he would think i'd gone round the twist....
d) no - I love kale (i think this probably earns me total banishment)
e) riding it isn't the problem - springboarding myself onto it first is...
f) Nursie - OF COURSE.... Although, have you ever tried to empty Henri, it is enough to foil the sturdiest of creatures...
g) They're yummy - hmm only 4,998 words short. But it is to the point

Epic fail - it's no wonder i lurk

monnagran

VJsmum. It's a near miss my dear. With a bit more practise and some intensive study I think we could drag you down to the mark.
Of course, we're always open to a bit of surreptitious bribery. A few packets of bikkies should do it. Give it some thought.

Hollyharvey

Thank you all for the warm welcome.

burtha I echo the others' advice of get your solicitor onto this, and take care of yourself and the children. I am so angry for you :mad:

monna sounds like the initiation ceremony could be interesting if it is still being planned :rotfl:. I may have to resort to bribery with extra biscuits .

[Deleted User]

Don't for goodness sake get it wrong.....the hefferlump's NOT for dunking!

monnagran

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

Don't for goodness sake get it wrong.....the hefferlump's NOT for dunking!

Good heavens NO.
Get that hefferlump into a cup of tea and it's hell's delight to get it out again.It tends to wallow and takes an age to get satisfactorily soggy.

Never, ever get your hefferlump confused with your bikkie.

Thinking of burtha and hoping today is not as bad as yesterday.

karcher

monnagran wrote: »

Ah Fuddle, burtha's pita is acting like this because he has to justify, to himself and anyone else who will listen, what he has done. He can only do this by trying to heap blame on to the very people that he has hurt and make it appear that he is the victim and he had no choice in the matter. It's a well known ploy and has the double whammy of making himself look whiter than white and increasing the hurt to his victims by turning them into the persecutors.

Absolutely correct Monna...I was thinking the exact same thing this morning but didn't have time (was still in zombie/lack of sleep mode) to find the right words before rushing off to work.

It really is sickening how people can manipulate things to meet their own selfish agenda :mad:

VJsmum

VJsmum wrote: »

let's see how i measure up
a) obviously
b) it's wooden - can you polish wood? (Ooh err missus, steady, hester)
c) he would think i'd gone round the twist....
d) no - I love kale (i think this probably earns me total banishment)
e) riding it isn't the problem - springboarding myself onto it first is...
f) Nursie - OF COURSE.... Although, have you ever tried to empty Henri, it is enough to foil the sturdiest of creatures...
g) They're yummy - hmm only 4,998 words short. But it is to the point

Epic fail - it's no wonder i lurk

Edit - re C, the kids might get a bit of a surprise too.... :rotfl:

monnagran wrote: »

VJsmum. It's a near miss my dear. With a bit more practise and some intensive study I think we could drag you down to the mark.
Of course, we're always open to a bit of surreptitious bribery. A few packets of bikkies should do it. Give it some thought.

Biccies and hefferlumps, hmmmmm

<< tries to think of elephant / biscuit puns>>

<< fails >>

monnagran

Oh yes Karcher. As you well know, when you have been through something like this yourself your heart goes out to anyone who suddenly finds themself in the same situation. You can see a horribly familiar scenario unfolding and know that there is going to be a long hard road ahead. You'd do anything to save that person from some of the hurt but know that everyone has travel the road by themselves.
Still, you give what help and little bit of comfort you can.

No one has a trouble free life but we can all support each other through it.

Nargleblast

burtha - you just carry on as you are, living your life, taking care of the kids, and keep the solicitor up to speed with what's going on. Open a new bank account and get your income transferred over.

Your soon-to-be ex-husband? Don't worry about him, just let him keep on digging......that hole is getting bigger and bigger...

silvasava

Oh I do love you lot! One moment I'm nearly wetting myself laughing and the next being choked up with all your love and care for anyone whose world has crashed around them.
Go girls xxxxx