The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

MMF007

Well done NM's son! My nephew took a temp job at a bakery 3 years ago and he is still there because he loves it! He also loves the hours, too. Up very early, works hard, finishes mid-afternoon and considers himself to have every afternoon off, iyswim. It must be a real boost for you both.
PS - Will you get free cakes?!

nursemaggie

MMF007 His hours will be 5 am to 1 pm so yes he considers his afternoons free. No cakes unless they start making them it is mainly savoury pastries.

No I don't think he will give up his Japanese. I hope he will not give up on the idea of going to Uni even if he ends up taking longer to get there.

Floss

NM well done to your DS!

ivyleaf

burtha ((HUGS)) Hope you have a nice day with your family.

nursemaggie That's brilliant :T Our local bakery has been advertising for some time for an apprentice baker, but no luck yet, possibly because it involves starting at 4 a.m.

pollyanna_26

Quick one from me for now .

Burtha I meant to ask about the work that needs doing before the house is marketed .
Your husband is talking of an increase in value of 70k following the necessary work .
Will trades be doing it or is he planning DIY and mates rates instead? Mind you after the way he's treated you and the family , the club and the community I think mates may be very thin on the ground .
You need to see details of the work he plans , the how and why . The minimum timescale it will take and most of all if the cost will be coming out of the equity when sold how much difference it will make to the eventual profit .
I don't know how he plans to finance the improvements but if you haven't mentioned it to your solicitor , you need to .
You could have already put safeguards in place but if not be wary he doesn't take out finance using the property as security .
Both of you are on the deeds but he wouldn't be the first to get away with it .
Finally Ask yourself if at this moment with your shock, hurt and anger . Much as you want out for a number of reasons . Can you face the house itself being torn apart around you and the children possibly with workmen all over the place ? It's just days since your world fell apart and it's too soon to do more than get all the advice you need and cope with the family .
Hope todays day out has at least helped by getting out .
polly
X

NM I'm so glad things are confirmed for your son . It will be good for him as it's such a hard thing nowadays to get a chance no matter how hard you try . It must be a relief for you too .
Hope you're keeping well . xx
polly

fuddle

Can I add, given that we share soil burtha, that canny little cheap houses here make lovely little homes.

Sayschezza

jamanda wrote: »

Burtha,


Silly question, but have you had the locks changed yet. They come in when you aren't there and take what they want.


This is IMPORTANT.

Check with solicitor but I don't think you can lock him out if he owns half the house. I personally wouldn't leave it unattended as yes he could come and take what he wants and you will never get it back.

burtha

Hi all,
Can't change the locks but I do have bolts on for if I am in ... but don't think I have anything I want to keep , after thinking about what I have , I have not much ,yes I have household stuff ...but it's him that has the fishing stuff,shooting stuff,running stuff ...I could go on and on... His 17 pairs of running trainers compared to my 1 ... kids were important to kit out not me ... and now 90% of his stuff is gone , so don't think he will take anymore .
Today was a mixed success , youngest dd not good , kept breaking down ,wasn't in a good place before this happened and now ???? Ended up having a long chat tonight ,have got eldest dd on side to ...Youngest dd can't go on as it is , hard time at sch then now "talked to dad " and now dad has gone like the rest of my friends .. everyone is leaving me kind of thing , I need to get her some help , will sort some therapy out on Monday and trip to gp, never wanted her to go on medication but don't know what else to do ,but will discuss all options ..
Really could hate dh for doing this now , totally selfish , he has sent them a text tonight ,hopes there ok and if they want him to he could see them for 5 mins on Monday night .... he knew the state she was in before he left ,so uncaring so hard ..so taking each day as it comes with her now ....
Just have to pull together , worn out and want to leave this horrid ride but have no choice but to hang on tight , and yes I would live in a shoe box if all my kids were happy and together ..
x

nannywindow

O Burtha love.
Just read your last post and I want to kick your DH in his you know whats! He sounds such a selfish man and you will be better off without him in the long run. If it were me I would bag up the rest of his stuff and get him to collect that too and tell him that his it's in bin bags outside the door !
Good idea going to the GP with your youngest, but perhaps you could do with a consultation for yourself, as you will wear yourself out mentally and physically, looking after your family and dealing with his sh*t :mad: ( Apologies as I don't normally swear ) It's a lot to deal with on your own even with the help of eldest DD.
Sorry this post is a bit late but I'm sleepless again and I hope I'm not overstepping the mark. Just tell me to mind my own business if you want to. I will not be offended.
Take care of yourself
nan

monnagran

Burtha love, you're doing fine. It probably doesn't feel like it but you are facing reality and that is so hard to do when you feel like a damp, teary blob.

Please do whatever you can to give yourself little moments of spoiling. Catch the second where you can think, "Actually, at this moment I'm OK. I'm cosy in bed with a hot water bottle. I have a cup of tea and this new magazine to read. Yes, just for this minute I'm comfortable."
It won't last but make it happen if you can.

It's hard enough keeping yourself going but to have to take on your DDs troubles as well is very hard. Do get help for her and for yourself. Again, this will be hard for you as you have always been the the capable one but now it's your turn. Take it.

Most of all come back to us and spill all the hurt and grief. Just knowing that we are all here supporting you will help you get through the worst times.

Watch it though, the Fencer's army will be getting twitchy on your behalf and are probably polishing their rolling pins as we speak.

Keep on keeping on petal.