The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

monnagran

It absolutely is not a no-win situation. Your mother's health is important too. She is very ill herself and has been knocking herself out for the past few weeks to be there for your Dad. If she doesn't get a break soon you will be having 2 funerals instead of one, and it may well be hers first. Perhaps if your wider family were made to understand that, they may be a little more forgiving.
In fact I have not heard you mention any other visitors to your Dads bedside. Perhaps the wider family could fill the gap while you and your Mum have a little break. They could draw up a Rota so that the burden doesn't fall too heavily on one person.

The hospital may be able to give you a clue as to whether or not you can leave your Dad for a few days. If things deteriorate quickly presumably you and your Mum and brother can get back to the hospital with all speed.

You're not going to forget this Christmas are you?

Well I got back to sleep for a couple of hours but have now been up, refreshed warm patch, made a large mug of coffe and come back to bed. Millie is sleeping on my feet, I don't know how many stones she weighs but she is h e a v y.
I may turn on the TV shortly and catch up with the news.

I'll be back later but leave you with a THOUGHT FOR TODAY

If you think I'm mean, it means that I am doing my job as your MUM.
If I was nice, you would call me GRANDMA.

ETA. I have just read this back. Try to spot the split infinitive mar. The prize is a jelly baby. Just the one, we dont want to spoil you.

Floss

MMF I agree with Monna - we all know how illness can strike when someone suddenly slows down to take a rest, and with your mums ongoing health it may prompt a crisis.

Have the ward staff spoken to you about their Christmas plans? Are they planning to keep your dad as an inpatient for the holidays or aim to be sending him home?

I got up to look at the cricket - wish I hadnt bothered but will let DH have a bit more sleep before his birthday cuppa & presents

Hard_Up_Hester

I'm going to bottle my Sloe gin today, I was supposed to be going out but that's been cancelled, what a wuss, I cried when I found out.

I need to get my hair cut, I don't want it cut but we are going to a wedding, Hubby's side of the family, appearance is everything to them.

I'm one even out of bed yet and already I'm grumpy, I've been awake for a few hours to decide which I'm most peed off about. Going blind or going deaf, brought about by the cancellation of today's trip, I've been uninvited as my deafness makes me inconvenient.

So f&&& em all.

Ha ing got that off my chest I'll shut up now hugs to all those who are poorly or sad.

monnagran

Throw things Hester. Jump up and down, punch pillows, scream, you are entitled.

What horrible people to make you feel like this. How dare they! If they can't appreciate what a loyal, funny, caring person you are then you are better off without them.
I've never heard of anything so crass. I want to slug someone on your behalf.

Don't you be upset pet. You are worth so much more than this. Now spend the day doing something nice for you.
I had a friend who, in her darkest days, used to look at herself in the mirror every morning and say, "Now what shall I do for darling me today?"

Try it, and lots and lots of love from those who think you are wonderful.

MMF007

Oh hester, that's appalling. What was the event? An extremely quiet violin recital? !!!!!!!

My DB and I have been educating my mum on very sweary txt slang, see above!

Hester, pick something totally indulgent and do it today, just because you deserve it, ok? (((0)))

Monna, the reason no other family are picking up the pieces is because there isn't any one else who can. DB and I, along with very young grandkids are all mum has. Dad has very aged and infirm brother and 2 sisters, none of whom can travel and they are all 460 miles away. They would if they could.
There are some really good friends and neighbours here, though, and they are visiting in turns. Most of them know mum is very ill so I hope they will understand the desperate need for a break for her.

I will have been here 4 weeks soon and I feel selfish for planning a trip home for xmas but I have to try and do some work (self employed, manual work, so can't do it remotely), and my DH is missing me. There is a silver lining - absence has made his heart grow fonder! DH messaged me to say not only is he missing me but he is proud of me. That made me cry, of course.

I have made a little pact with myself that as soon as I get home I am going to buy myself a big cheerful bouquet, something lovely to look at. I shall send a virtual one to Hester, too

Hard_Up_Hester

Thanks everyone, I understand the reason for the rescinded invitation, it's a noisy environment and I won't be able to hear what's being said.
And just to add to my grumpiness my dd who has mental health issues has a new volunteer helper who thinks she s a psychiatrist and has been explaining to dd that all her problems stem from me being a useless mother! All I can say is that I did my best, it obviously wasn't and isn't enough.

MMF007

Oh hester, that's wrong on so many levels. I am also sure that a volunteer dishing out amateur psychology is against every rule in the vook, for very good reasons.
My blood is boiling :mad:

silvasava

Hester - get that bull whip out!

Floss

Hester first of all, DON'T jump up & down or you may sink your home! Surely someone could have thought about the venue & its suitability before the day of the event!

Also, maybe whoever provides your DDs volunteer should be made aware of that persons behaviours - some people may not be able to tell anyone else and may be affected by this amatuer psycho-waffle so there could be real damage caused to fragile health & relationships.

nursemaggie

Oh Hester that makes me so mad. She is a danger to society and it should be reported. Surely a volunteer is to help not to make the situation worse. Freud was debunked years ago. Those sort of busy bodies are supposed to be weeded out before they start as a volunteer.

I am so sorry you have been uninvited. It is not very nice, people can be so thoughtless.

I have got three letters written, and some cards. Have now packed two large parcels for posting. Will get them posted this morning.

DS has a voucher from Ald! for our Christmas Dinner. The problem is he does not have a day off until 23rd December. I need to do the shopping before then.