The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

Sayschezza

lillibet_dripping wrote: »

Burtha,
I'm confused.... why is the house going on the market so quickly? From my experience, the kids and I stayed in the house and ex paid the mortgage until we/solicitors/court had agreed the financial side of a divorce. Even then, after 14 months, the house was awarded to me because of the children, on the condition that it was sold and I received the proceeds from the sale to buy another house.
Is your name on the deeds? If not, get your solicitor involved asap - you need to register your interest in the house so it can't be sold from under you and the ex takes all the money.
If the house IS to go on the market immediately, I agree with Mrs. L. - get the estate agent to show interested parties around. You should also have a say in which agent you use and the asking price. Don't let the ex take control over what is happening or make you do things his way....
Lizzie

Thank heavens you posted this as I didn't know how to word it correctly but I agree this is exactly what happened when my DD split with her hubby and she was awarded 70 per cent of the money. Especially as Burtha has a medical problem she will need all the money she can salvage. Good luck

Sayschezza

And Burtha don't forget to put in for maintenance for you and the children.

Floss

Fuddle I bet yer man meant into the compost heap - most plotters on my site do that with pumpkins

karcher

lillibet_dripping wrote: »

Burtha,
I'm confused.... why is the house going on the market so quickly? From my experience, the kids and I stayed in the house and ex paid the mortgage until we/solicitors/court had agreed the financial side of a divorce. Even then, after 14 months, the house was awarded to me because of the children, on the condition that it was sold and I received the proceeds from the sale to buy another house.
Is your name on the deeds? If not, get your solicitor involved asap - you need to register your interest in the house so it can't be sold from under you and the ex takes all the money.
If the house IS to go on the market immediately, I agree with Mrs. L. - get the estate agent to show interested parties around. You should also have a say in which agent you use and the asking price. Don't let the ex take control over what is happening or make you do things his way....
Lizzie

This is excellent advice Burtha please read it and take note.

Thinking of you and hope you are taking good care of yourself xx

lillibet_dripping

Burtha, I've been thinking back on my experience and your situation is worrying me. The fact that ex is putting the house on the market so quickly suggests to me that this has been some time in the planning. I now remember that my ex tried to do exactly the same thing and claimed that the proceeds from the sale would be put in 'a neutral account' pending the court decision. He said that 'the housing market might not be so buoyant in the future' and we should sell asap! That was the point when I realised my name was not on the mortgage/deeds and, thankfully, saw through what he was planning to do.
You sit tight, my love. Nobody is going to turn you and the children out of your home until everything has been agreed through the courts. The court's first priority will be the children and their welfare and they will NOT see you out on the street with no money to support them.
After all, he's the one who left, not you.
Sending you love and strength.....
Lilli

nannywindow

Burtha Please listen to Lillibet. I was always under the impression that if you had children under 16 or 18 ( not sure which now ) that you could not be put out of the marital home, nor had it sold before the children were grown up, unless both parties agreed. Please seek more legal advice before you agree to put it on the market.
Many hugs

Petula

Thanks vicoriajj, that makes life much easier!

Burtha I know that I'm new here and don't want to 'butt in' but have been a similar route in the past, and really feel for you. I'm a hugger in real life, so sending you a virtual one now. Seems much good advice from everyone.

In a muddle over meals here atm, we both used be big eaters but for whatever reason I am happier now with 'lighter' meals (not necessarily healthier, lol) but OHs appetite is the same as always. Trying to find ways around the issue... Gloriously sunny today, was supposed to rain but it never appeared and has also been a decent temp. - which is definitely below 20c for me

Nargleblast

Burtha - as the others said, don't let yourself be pushed into rushing through the sale of the house and the division of the proceeds. If it has taken 20 years to put your life together then it is not going to be a five minute job to unpick it all, regardless of what His Lordship wants. Think carefully about each decision you make every step of the way, and certainly you should look into Fuddle's suggestion about the renting option. One step at a time, don't get dragged into the b1tching and backbiting, leave that to the other side. Just get good legal advice all the way, and watch your back. You will get through this, it will just take a bit of time and a lot of tears, but you will get there.

burtha

Hi all ,
Thank you for the advice , thinking a bit clearer today , in principle I agree to the house sale, even though I know I could make him pay the morgage plus other stuff , but the house is huge ... big old house , 2 log burners ,hard to heat , more plus sides to going than staying , ... Youngest dd is going into her last year of sch in September , so ideally would of liked to move before Christmas , ...but it's not going to be straight forward , no matter what he wants .. The house needs work done to it before we sell , it's about 70k different not to do it ... so it certainly will not be on the market in the next 2 weeks ....
Talked to him tonight , his plan is buy me a cheep house with the cash and walk away ( I think) .... him keeping the rest of profit , and that's it ...
Well think he is in for a shock , I have worked to hard to do that , it's not a fight I ever thought I would have to do but now I have no choice , so the fun begins .
Not the future I had planed but better more fun times ahead after all this mess is sorted out ... battered but never broken ,worse things could happen know ones died kind of thing ..
x

silvasava

Burtha - I can see your reasoning but do make sure you are happy with whatever outcome as this affects your financial future whatever he wants or thinks he can do.
Like many of us you have been on my mind - looks like our garden fence has become a little stockade to protect our Burtha. Hugs x