The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

nursemaggie

Actually if a housing association takes care of the councils property then noise in council properties is the responsibility of the housing association.

How it works is. The council sets up a company with one share which the council owns. The council then hands over the council houses and flats to the housing association. The council still own the property but the housing association has to run the housing department. Technically the council is no longer responsible for its housing and as the only shareholder it can delegate statutory responsibilities to the housing association. The tenants above us are breaking their tenancy agreement so was the previous tenant in many ways.

We all reported her quite independently of each other. She was out in about 10 days. I hope she went to somewhere more suitable. I think this is needed with these as we thing they have more than 5 under 5 year olds who are still up and running around. They were up at 3 am when DS went to work. They must be disturbing everyone else but being directly below we are getting most of it.

monnagran

nursemaggie and Karcher, I think that other people's noise is anti-social at best and what you describe is torture and criminal.

I seem to have frittered away the last week and the 'must-do' jobs have piled up round me. Today I start focussing. Well, that's the plan.
Also my trusty charger that services my tablet, phone and kindle is on the blink. So I am ekeing out my time on here.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

A friend may be waiting behind a stranger's face.

Hard_Up_Hester

Cold and frosty this morning and Mr Swan was tapping on the window for his breakfast just after 6:30!

We're being quoted £9000 for a new engine for our boat, about £3000 more than we budgeted for, ouch!

I treated my daughter to some new clothes yesterday, all from the local charity shops, she's having a very difficult time at the moment through no fault of her own, I can't post about it on here until the legal side of it is sorted out. On top of this she works three jobs and her car has been written off and through it all she keeps smiling and does the best for her family, so I thought she deserved treat.

mardatha

Hester have you thought of a reconditioned engine? They are just as good as new and the RV says thats the way to go

karcher

x2 Ouch Hester.

Your DD definitely sounds like she deserves a treat, hope all goes well x

pandamonium

Karcher, re your blood stain. If it's dry leave it til the next wash then spit on the stain work the spit in. and wash as usual. Sounds a bit gross but does work on blood - it must be your spit .

Gintotmelinda

Karcher just delurking to say I use one of those Vanish solid blocks and it works on blood every time.

Hth

Gintot

VJsmum

Afternoon all - ouch HuH...

On my way back from dad's. it's getting very difficult in many ways.

My brother lives with him as carer, at the same time brother works an evening delivery job. Brother (in his mid-40's) has had a very complicated private life and keeps his cards close to his chest, but says he doesn't think he can be carer much longer. bear in mind, brother has lived there rent free for 5 years, dad pays all the bills and buys all the shopping (as in pays for - brother fetches it). Brother also gets carers allowance (I think), so isn't that hard done by.

Dad is getting more frail - he has somehow hurt his leg (delayed onset from a recent fall, we think it's muscular), he is in a lot of pain and his leg is very weak. This has only been since my last visit about three weeks ago.

A carer also goes in first thing in the morning and in the evening.

If the leg thing continues then dad probably can't live without full time care any longer - which means someone coming in, or dad leaving and going into a home In some ways that might not be the end of the world as dad has been housebound and quite isolated due to his health for 5 years. I don't think that brother has quite thought through the implications - that he will lose his rent free, bills paid cushy existence and his carers allowance and that the house (which he thinks he is getting in the will - but i don't think he is) will probably have to be sold...

I live 200 miles away but have another brother and a sister within 20 miles of dad (brother only 3 miles away). Us three all have spouses and families though...

Sorry, it's just a outpouring of thoughts while on my way home... i feel so bl00dy guilty but there isn't much more that I can do, I think..

Floss

VJsmum have you spoken to your dad and your other siblings about this? Your dad may surprise you all with his wishes, and as most of you have families, there will possibly be thoughts similar to yours about his future wellbeing. BTW if carer brother has not only had a cushy few years but also assumed, we all know what can happen there...

nursemaggie

I'm Sorry VJsmum but you brother has not got it cushy.

Over the five years your dad will have been steadily deteriorating and your brother doing more. This fall has probably panicked him. Being a live in carer is an extremely difficult job there is no time off not even to carry out normal every day care of oneself.

Every time he goes to the bathroom he is worrying about his father. Suddenly your father has become a fully grown adult sized new born baby. What happens now when they need food. He dare not go. If he took him with him does he have a wheel chair, can he manage to get him into the wheel chair on his own.

For your brother the walls are closing in, his security of a roof over his head is as long as your fathers next breath if he takes it. He has no rights a pittance of an income from a job he can no longer do. He has no means of saving up to be able to supply himself with the means of finding somewhere else to live and he has no right to eat sleep or any of the other things wee need to survive. If work one hour per year you cannot have carers allowance. It has to be 24 hour a day 365 days a year job to care for that person.

Before you do anything you need to check has your dad been to A&E to be checked out after this fall. Was his leg X-rayed. It is possible for an elderly person to walk around with a broken leg. Broken bones are horrendously painful. Doctors have missed them. Most older people do not like to make a lot of fuss. If he is shouting every time he tries to move or showing signs he is in a great deal of pain it is likely he does have a broken bone. I would advise you to call your brother and get him to the hospital immediately.

Your brother is probably getting less income from his evening delivery job than your fathers state pension. He does need help to prepare for when he is on his own. He may in law have a right to stay in your fathers house if your father went into a home. 5 years is a long time to have to be responsible for another adult and no break. He has not been able to have a full time job.

This is not to make you feel more guilty but to show the situation from your brothers point of view.

Once you have established that there is nothing more you can do for your father, it would be a good idea to call a family meeting and agree a course of action.

I ought to have said this last night. I ought to have woken up before 1 pm which has got me in trouble. The people upstairs seem to be out. They have been in intermittently today.

I went through this with my own mother being the carer for my mum plus 42 others in the same building. I was the warden. DS was aged three when I started to care for her. The council moved her to my scheme to prevent them from losing me. I was under the illusion that I had two hours a week respite until my mother started vomiting when my bother was visiting. Apparently I was still on call.