The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

nannywindow

Oh Pollyanna what sad times you relate, you should write a book about them, I'm sure it would be a bestseller. It's the type of stories that I will read like Twopence to cross the Mersey etc.

I don't know how people coped, faced with all the poverty and sadness but they did, and didn't moan half as much as some do nowadays when they break a nail, poor things. Lots of people seem so angry about everything and anything. Sorry I'll get down off my soapbox, I hope I haven't offended anyone.

I haven't felt up to posting, I've been feeling a bit fragile lately and this heat is getting to me now, we're on an amber warning for heat again today, so not much sleep has been had this week and I'm shattered...... like a lot of others I expect. 

I'm loving the "worry worms" and the diverse topics of conversation, keeps my mind active.

Take care all, hugs to anyone in need.

nan

FairyPrincessk

Afternoon everyone,

I've been busying doing  a very important thing--nothing important!  We've done a few chores, had a window quote and spend our afternoons in the shade with a book or needlepoint and an audiobook in my case.  I can slowly but surely feel the stress of the term both turning up and then easing away. I think in the midst of term I just get on with it and file a lot of the stress away in my body like weird little knots.  I have the wool to start a little elf-style baby hate for my nephew due in January but haven't started it yet. It will be the sort of thing I'll enjoy making in Autumn. Baby will live in a hot climate so I'll either make newborn or a size up from that as it is likely to be too warm for baby once it gets much older. That should mean it doesn't take long at all.

Polly those are such touching and eloquent thoughts. I've seen religion be a warm, supportive and caring embrace for some people and I've also seen it destroy lives. Like any powerful tool it must be weilded carefully and by the conscientious.

Hester, I've seen little crocheted flowers used as broaches/instead of bows on presents etc. I've knitted a few but I imagine you could make them more easily crocheting. I actually used a pattern for a poppy but varied the colours and used buttons for the centre. I did a lot of purple ones for mum and they looked a lot like pansies. I know a lot of people prefer to buy poppies directly so the money goes to charity. Just a thought--an easy way to use up small bits of wool and might sell ok on a stall.

I hope those of you struggling in this weather are coping. I find it glorious but I know it isn't so for many.x

silvasava

I hav'n't done any crochet for ages, last thing was a baby shawl for GGS in 2019! 

Polly, your experiences with organised religion resonates with me. My Scots grandmother along with her brothers and sisters were taken into care as their parents treated them so badly. I don't know how badly it must have been in Glasgow at the turn of the centuary but I've a good idea. My gran was the youngest and I think she was protected by the others. She was taken into a Catholic home/ orphanage, you can guess the rest. She was totally terrified of Nuns and my Dad remembers her hiding behind the sofa one day when they came to call on her.
My maternal grandmother was what was termed 'High Church' and my mother said she was forced to go morning, noon and night. My gran died when my mum was 16 and didn't set foot in church until she married and I was christened. My father was in the RN and had seen people from many religions,  neither of them made me go to church but I did cos I liked the atmosphere and the singing. I hav'n't lost my faith cos I never had one to begin with but other religions are very interesting to me, I've found my own path.

It beggers belief what our parents and grandparents endured and still brought up sane well adjusted children ( I think I'm sane, it's everyone else!)

ivyleaf

Polly sweetheart, thank you for those wonderful posts - I hope it was cathartic to write them. Sending lots of love to a lovely lady xx

mothernerd

It's too hot for me and I'm feeling tearful. Think it's the hayfever. I take Loratadine but forget how weepy it can sometimes make me. I want to go to town/ my house. Well want is too strong as I'm afraid of the state sponsored insanity. But I have stuff for the charity shop, a couple of my bath sheets to take to my house and I need drinks. I've been on filtered tap water for days (mum's water is truly horrible). I'm filtering it, squeezing a bit of lemon juice in and then putting it in the freezer in refilled 1 l bottles but barely keeping up with my intake. Need fizzy water or decaffeinated diet coke (mum's decided it's bad for me - I know it's not great but I don't drink tea or coffee, water and decaff coke are as exciting as my life gets). Ohh could order non-alcoholic wine. We have only a few slices of bread and are low on other things (that's why there's room in the freezer for bottles of water).

Also need a number of items, probably from Wilco - mum wants a sealant gun and a tube of sealant that will do everything (#11 odd as opposed to #2 - 3 - keyboard is muddled and I have no pound sign. Don't know why because I've struggled to use one in recent years, I much prefer the wide toothpaste tube ones you smooth on with a wet finger. I need more bbq skewers for my 'wall' and the can opener is knackered (thought the electric one was gone too). I've been going through my tin store finding ones that have ring pulls.

If I can't persuade myself to get in a taxi, I will put an order in for delivery tomorrow. Just a little one - want to keep trying new tinned pulses and frozen veg recipes.

Last week's episode has had strange effects. Mum's not going to change, she will always be wanting me to be other than I am and believing she has the right to be over involved in my life - my mother thinks my ex OH is the only man I've ever slept with and is always telling people I hate men. I have no problem with men, just a very low tolerance for idiots. But perversely, her outrageous insults have bolstered my self-confidence. I was feeling wobbly, now I've snapped back into being me and I like me. I'm finding it easier to eat less and eat more good for me things. But I'm doing it for me, not mum. I'm a good person, I try my best in difficult circumstances and I deserve to enjoy life. I'll never sit twiddling my thumbs and wondering what to complain about next. Even if I lost my sight (which is what I most dread) I have read enough books in my life to be able to retell myself a story.

I've also had a lot of practice for going blind. My 'auntie' (woman who looked after me before my mum gave up work when my brother was born) took me for my initial eye exam. She told me that if I was good and wore my glasses, my eyes would get better and I wouldn't need them (this was true for her adopted daughter who had astigmatism). I made the mistake of saying this to mum who told me auntie was wrong and my eyes would not get better. No further explanation, so 8 yo me understood that my eyes would get worse and worse until I was totally blind.

So for years I practised going up and down stairs in the dark, brushing and combing my hair without using a mirror (using my left hand part of the time in case I lost an arm or hand). It wasn't until I was in my late twenties and the optician said my eyes seemed to have settled that it all came back to me - I'd internalised the things I did and was barely aware of them but continued to practice. In the past few years my eyes have made embroidery increasingly difficult. Wasn't sure if my eyes or my hands (arthritis) would go first. I had to give up working on coloured fabric (bold colours, then pastels) and my pace has slowed. In the days when I had problems sleeping I could sew for 12 or 13 hours, watching an old serial on u-tube, now it's a maximum of a couple of hours a day with good light. However at my last eye exam, I was told there had not been much change. No I'm not going blind anytime soon - happy dance (yes, I asked the optician, that fear seed planted all those years ago is still there).

Thank you for sharing with us polly. I hate that people didn't think children should have things explained properly to them, it's so damaging. Also when they praise the war generations and say 'they didn't talk about it' - maybe they didn't but the damage was felt in millions of homes throughout the land in the ways that you described. In Pink Floyd's 'The Wall' it seems astounding that these damaged men should have been seen as perfect people to teach children. By Vietnam the cracks were more apparent - as many American veterans have committed suicide as were killed during the conflict and I remember the stories of men trained in jungle warfare who killed their own children when they crept up on them. Nowadays soldiers are more likely to end up on the streets than the general population (because they can't adapt to civilian life) and also be in prison (because it offers asimilar regimented lifestyle). 

As Jimi Hendrix said "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace".  

MingVase

Nannywindow - you aren't offending anybody and you aren't on a soapbox xxx You are just leaning on a Fence chatting to pals.

And a vase.

I like a real discussion to get my fangs into. I think it helps balance us when we hear other people's points of view and slant on life. It's too easy to get immersed in a wee puddle and end up thinking it's a huge ocean.

Nargleblast

Some of the tales we get from people at the Fence would make blockbuster films worthy of the Oscars, especially with the theme that, no matter how grim things have been, you can still achieve a good life and be happy in your own skin. The lives portrayed by some "celebrities" on social media are so dull and uninspiring by comparison.

burtha

afternoon all   
I've just sent a lovely hour reading your posts and catching up , sitting in the sun .
life's been a bit full on the last few weeks , but hey ho . . 
positive things are,
 eldest dd and family are now ok after covid . 
youngest dd we are making progress with drs and appointments to get a diagnosis 
youngest ds , is finally learning to cook... even if it's costing me a kings ransom in chicken and replacing spices. 
Eldest ds is just working to hard . but that's normal .
the frog is happy and here . 
I'm still running and haven't killed anyone yet lol .... 
court has happened and paperwork is looking good now .
3mw  seen the youngest kids the other day ... for 20 mins,  and couldn't wait to get away apparently... thankfully kids thought it was funny and are happy that he now probably won't see them again till Christmas..... 
the frog and I  were at a wedding at the weekend,  up at Gretna.. was nice if a little strange .  not  alowed to dance on the tables   but we did all sway along to music sitting down . weirdly I thought of you all ... I couldn't decide what to wear so took 3 dresses .. 1 was fitted and flowers ... the other bright red/orange and 1 yellow.... , 4 years ago I would have been black and dreary and not wanted to stand out from the crowd , new me is a bit more full of life .... so I changed 3 times during the day and had fun . 


off to Google pound book thing nd eat before running now . 

take care everyone x

 

Nargleblast

Life's good, isn't it, Burtha?

Hard_Up_Hester

Polly and Mothernerd, such inspiring posts. You have both risen above difficult circumstances.

My mum was very attractive and glamourous, she often felt I was a disappointment as I was short and sturdy, to be honest I don't think she would have coped if I'd been as attractive as her, I think she's have been jealous.