5 OS pleasures in your day today - part 3

balabooberlies

Lost my temper twice this week.  Feel wretched.  Was doing my best not to cry and my brother could see how I was feeling.  ?He spent about an hour trying to wrap my Christmas present that he ordered and then he handed it to me to cheer me up.  I burst into tears.

I have to leave.  I tried to tell OH why but I know either tonight or tomorrow I will pay.  There will be some nastiness.

It's not just coping with whatever condition he has, the fact that I am a half glass full and he isn't.  It's also the stress of having to repeat many times everything I say because he won't wear hearing aids.  5 years, 2 private company's where he wore the prototypes they made for him and sent them back before a financial commitment set in.  I then took him to doctor's, all the hospital appointments only for him to wear them for half an hour then declare he didn't like them and so won't wear them.  Tonight I refused to repeat myself for the 30th or 40th time today and once again he told me I have no patience.  I erupted.  This is not who I want to be.

I am sorry that this is probably not where I should post this but there isn't anyone that can help.  Everyone is struggling.  Estate agents can't seem to find a landlord that will accept a dog.  Am stuck and very depressed.

sorry

Mrs_Salad_Dodger

Oh balabooberlies ☹️ I am sending you loads of hugs. 

Suffolksue

hugs Bala ,does he know how you feel .maybe write it down and give it to him 
unless the nastiness is physical .can you stay at your Mums when you take your brother home xx

Happycas

Oh Bala.   How difficult for you.   And such a lovely brother.   What about Sue's  suggestion.. Could you stay at your mother's and help by sharing the care of your brother?  
Will be thinking of you, with gentle hugs.

VJsmum

Bala - so many hugs for you...

Pleasures recently
1. Walks with friends
2. Gin
3. Clean bathrooms - though it was me wot cleaned them.  Listened to I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue while doing so (poor TBT )
4. Log burner
5. Yummy food including curry left overs.

Hope all are well.

Purple_kitten

Bala, massive hugs, so glad your brother is with you.

Thank you for the heart worm, we’ve researched now and are rather hoping its not, and I hope the vet would have picked it up having had numerous x rays of his heart done now. I will add it into the mix when we talk tomorrow.

1 Spent the afternoon wrapping.

2 Face pack done, and hair conditioned.

3 Watching a version of the Grinch we’ve never seen before and it’s amazing.

4 I had no idea for food tonight, so it was faggots and mushy peas.

5  Kind of looking forward to reading and finishing my book, at the same time I don’t want it too finish.

LaineyT

Oh Bala, sounds like this has been building for some time, good idea from Sue to find refuge at your Mum’s if you can, if not is there a friend who could take you & Tiggy in, if only for a break?

balabooberlies

Your kindness, all of you, touched my heart, thank you.

Unfortunately it has gone past the letter writing stage.  Whether he has a condition or not we are not compatible.  I won't say anymore because if I start I may not stop and that isn't fair to him.  But I can't live like this anymore girding myself constantly against the next thing.  And in a day there can be many 'next things'.  I feel on edge, worn out, a step away from real depression.  I desperately want to leave so I must find a way.

My brother and his company has been a god-send.  I will speak with my parents tomorrow.  See if they can help me find somewhere to live.  Their house is bursting at the seams so I couldn't add to that.  But they could keep an eye, put the word out.

I want to end this on a good note so PK, hopefully it isn't heartworm but if it is then it is reversible.  I will be thinking of you and Nestle tomorrow.  And I send my love.  Give him a kiss from me.

As I wrote 'I must find a way' (see above ) I remembered that I AM a person that believes very strongly that to every problem there is a solution.  So tomorrow I will gird whatever needs to be girded.  Tonight I am going eat ice-cream.

Thank you so much

xxx

Nargleblast

Ice cream is good for now, Bala. A couple of days staying with your parents is a good idea, you will have time and space to think things through and plan a course of action. When a relationship is breaking down there's no such thing as a right or good time. A little breathing space will help. I don't envy you on this path, I went through it many years ago and it was hard. I got through it, though, and so will you. You will look back and see how you survived the hard times. But for now, the ice cream is calling.

DundeeDoll

big hugs bala and we're all here for you (also if you like gingerbread lidl gingerbread icecream is fabulous)
lovely picture &
now listening to ISIHAC vjsmum with the immaculate Sven
3-0 for Leicester bop very good game for ex hatter Justin so a good weekend for Luton
1) up early enough to cook myself some sprouts to go with the leftover pasta ragu for breakfast
2) lovely service - didn't get to sing gaudete cos we're still not allowed to sing, but still lovely to be able to worship together.
3) mr l (£10 voucher) and mr T (£9 voucher) so have lots of dog / cat food and cat litter and alcohol for crimbo
4) then mum's for an afternoon of 'german market at home' - we also watched the Nutcracker (we normally go to see it at the DCA but not this year for obvious reasons)
5) now home, stuffed full of bratwurst, lebkuchen and mulled wine