NST June 2017: Jiggle Free June

Lauralozzle

Tuesday and today have been NSD so I'm now at 7/12.

Hope you're okay Florence.

I'm grateful for the weather today. Lovely sunshine always makes me feel better even if I had a horrible day at work (some bullying going on with certain members of the team). But I had a word with my manager and hopefully it'll be sorted, she was worried I was upset.

lcc86

Not much to report today, didn't manage a NSD because I needed some new passport sized photos so had to pay out for them on my lunch break. Also didn't manage any exercise, other than running around constantly after work doing something or other.

Tomorrow won't be a NSD either, have to post something special delivery. Also going to my mum and dads for the weekend so have to top up with fuel beforehand.

SkintTeacher

hi Florence...
Sending hugs and thoughts. I was signed off 4 years ago today with the same.hace you tried yoga? It really helps me x

SkintTeacher

Not an NSD today - spoilt it last minute with a chocolate bar which I didnt even eat! Gah! Ah well, still all in budget for the month although I'm hoping for a frugal weekend.I've warned OH father's day is going to be a homemade card and some painted pasta shapes.

Fmess

Thanks apple

Make sure you take care of yourself flo and fbo

SFD number 8 today as I was at work until 7.

mothernerd

Hugs for everyone, especially those struggling atm. I didn't reply to the 10 day round up and we are now at day 15 and I have to say the verdict is "could do better".

Had a good session with my local history/mutual support partner today. I couldn't find any books on exactly the subject he suggested but found 4 I have used/ familiar authors/ methods (facing your fears/ healing emotional wounds, improving your self-esteem and mood gym). Read chapter one of Small Steps, Big Results and he has taken several notes/ photos of pages on his phone. He's got ADHD and is on the autism spectrum and has decided to go completely paperless - he is going to start scanning his degree work into his computer and getting rid of the paper.

I love that he is endlessly optimistic. I want to be more positive and banish self-limiting beliefs (especially as mum will reinforce any negativity) but we talked a bit as I needed him to understand that belief is not enough and there are limiting factors - illness, age etc. As examples I gave being a concert pianist (need belief + practical skills + hours of practice + some basic talent + not be freaked out by performing in public). We will both be setting (revisiting for me) our goals before next week. That should make me more accountable (plus you lot and the health Trainers)

The other example I gave was gardening. This is something I love and I want to keep in my life but I am planning now to organise my space over the next 5 years, so that I can still garden even if I end up in a wheelchair.

On that note I did a good declutter this morning. The building facing my house does life skills training for young people on the autism spectrum. They have grown some vegetables from seed in 2 mini-greenhouses, cleared away a triangle of space in front of the building and imported some slabs. Work seems to have stalled (not sure if due to wet weather or if the supervisor for those projects is only available at certain times). The plants were moved into small plant pots but were looking a bit sad.

I called in to say if they were delayed any longer, the plants needed moving into larger pots. They said they thought it was being organised but when I said I had some, they were open to donations so I took a dolly truck full (about 100 pots, mainly 8" - 12", a few larger, some smaller). This helps them and me as I will be moving away from lots of small pots in favour of larger deeper spaces, preferably raised up (see above plans re gardening).

Yesterday at crafts we were painting small union jacks with I (heart) Manchester written on to hang up around the building. I got a special dispensation for S and I to do an Irish flag (much easier for a blind person to paint). Then I did a Saltire and (not sure if I could do dragons) the Prince of Wales feathers as we were tidying up (think I got the motto the wrong way round but asked the project leader to apologise to the veterans for any mistakes - they host a veterans lunch every Thursday and they have a branch of Leonard Cheshire in the building).

Couldn't get to sleep last night, gave up in the early hours and googled opening times for Icyland. had pills at 5am, food then bath at six, fell asleep briefly (bad mistake). Then went to Icyland and arranged home delivery (big shop is way overdue and lots of small expensive shops have resulted).

On the way back home I bought a clock and several mugs for mum, to go with the new kitchen. Current clock has black fingers on a black face (very handy for someone who now only has one working eye). Her fingers sometimes misbehave (she has to use the other hand to uncurl them) and her current mugs have small handles - holding a heavy mug and trying to control it with your finger tips doesn't work. I bought a selection so she could see which was easiest. Also spent time this afternoon putting sticky back plastic on jar lids and biscuit tins to make them match the new colour scheme.

I will be claiming a NSD for either today or tomorrow as I could have done all my shopping today if I hadn't done mum's as well. Just need one or two bits tomorrow plus 5 mugs to match the one mum has chosen. I also have a phone call to make and tackle the chaos that is my house - on Monday I couldn't go for my walk with the health trainer as I could only find one trainer (fell asleep fully clothed, pushed trainers off my feet next time I woke, knew one dropped off the bed - the other had disappeared into a mountain of clean clothes, bedding and towels ).

Mum's partner will not be returning to the bungalow. He was admitted to hospital and then moved to nursing home, which he loves. Mum's nurse said she shouldn't be visiting the hospital and her partner hasn't missed her (he has dementia and she was the only person he still recognised). Mum is physically much frailer than him and as his illness has progressed the workload has increased exponentially. She wouldn't say he couldn't come back but has admitted that the last few weeks have been restful and she would be relieved if it were decided that he should stay in care.

Today I am grateful for my partner (friends without benefits) and our mutual support, for continuing access to my counsellor if I should need her, for the joy of socks (today's are dark pink/ light purple with black or navy stripes - really pushing my boundaries on socks).

Relief and gratitude that mum has made the decision I have wanted for months (caring has placed an intolerable burden on her and taken a heavy toll on her health), slight hope that this may help with my own depression (I am aware that I should have started to come out of it by now and something is making me feel 'stuck').

Grateful for having a freezer full of food and alternatives to keep DS3 and Beloved (and me sometimes) away from the temptations of the takeaway.

I am going to stop or I may break the thread under the weight of this post.

Calling14

Thanks apple.

Flo and Fbo turtles are still here to support you. Extra hugs.

Today my best friends dog passed away. Had her and dog around last night, dog had been fitting this week but seemed her usual self otherwise. Good age but will have to buy a little gift to try and cheer her up. She is coping so much better than I did.

Spendy day again then so rubbish this week. Had big food delivery yesterday so no need to food shop for weeks.

Grateful
Got my washing line put up and fence mended.
Weekend is on its way.
Broke as ever but happy

FurryBeastOz

FloAre you wanting to go back to that job or look for something else? I'm finding the uncertainty of this horrible.

I'm trying to use my enforced time off to think about other options if everything does come crashing down. The legal costs of defending myself would be astronomical and I don't have the heart to fight.

Today I have failed miserably with the exercise I know would be good for me, but its grey and dreary and I don't want to go out with a wallet as I will do what you do and spend.

Have you been put in touch with someone professional to talk to? Stress, Anxiety and Depression will not magically go away because you are not at work. Mine is getting worse. I'm hoping to get some counselling organised, but at the moment I am using a great book called 'Mind over mood'. It's very good when I am paralysed with the fear that my ex-boss is going to turn up on my doorstep. It sometimes helps to write these thoughts down.

PM me if you want to 'talk' I'm not a professional but I have LOTS of experience of counselling so might be able to point you in a helpful direction.

Mothernerd Great to hear that the situation with your mothers partner has resolved itself without confrontation being necessary. It will make you and your mothers lives so much less stressful.

Thanks for all the support. I'm trying to stay in the moment and not catastrophise about things that are only a possibility.

I'm going to cook.

greent

Have been MiA. I can see that there are massive hugs needed to lots of turtles - consider yourself all hugged and an extra big squeezy one to those particularly in need.

Been working full on this week and shattered. Spends are ok. Exercise is non existent. Haven't been keeping tally of anything - refuse to drop out this month totally, as reading and occ posting is better than nothing! Am looking forward to July which will be both post exam season and post uni-open-day visit season with DS1
x

Toni'sfriend

Did a shop today. Mostly fruit, veg and salad stuff as I really need to address my eating and drinking habits. I've put weight on over the last week or so instead of taking it off so I'm starting over. Need to start walking again now that things are a bit more normal.
Spent today trying to catch up on washing and household chores. Feeling tired so I'm going to have a really early night.