Open this if I am dead

sweetbabu

I have to say, I consider this to be a very sensible plan. And it's something that OH and I have on our list to sort out, along with wills. Not something I particularly want to think about, but it's inevitable that we will need them one day.

My OH and I have recently suffered two bereavements in a week and having to sort out the affairs for one could have been made easier had there been a plan like this in place.

We are not married but all of our accounts for utilities and banks are joint so we should have no problems with access. However, you never know how such a bereavement will affect you and having a written reminder of passwords/wishes in the event of passing/etc would be useful to me.

I'm not sure I would want to have all of my passwords stored on a computer in light of yesterday's carry on.

I'm sorry, I can't think of what to include off the top of my head, but I will have a think and come back.

gettingtheresometime

I have to admit I thought this thread was going to be one if those I've found a letter addressed to me and I want to open it now or I've been left a letter sort of threads

Primrose

I remember some years ago a colleague of mine at work had been away sick for several weeks and knew he was dying but took the time in his last days while he was still capable of doing so, wrote to a couple of people, including myself, saying how much he had enjoyed working with us and thanked us for making his working life more pleasant.

He was that kind of thoughtful person and I was touched that even at the end he was still thinking of other people rather than himself.

Mr_Costcutter

My mother left a letter to each of her four children saying how much she had always loved us, and that she had always loved us all equally. The letter was very heart felt and she concluded by saying that her greatest wish would be that we would support each other through life - which we have. In the financial sense she didn't have much to leave, but her love was worth more than any fortune. I have also written a letter to my children and of course to my wife, saying very much the same. As to the financial stuff - everything has been well documented and family have been alerted to the place of safe keeping

Primrose

I very much like the thought of leaving a personal letter to those who are closest to you although of course it could be filed away for a very long time in some cases before it needs to come to light. At a time of bereavement one cannot under estimate how much thoughtful gestures like this help to support people during one of the most difficult times of their lives. Some people find it hard to say all the right things which leave valuable memories face to face. Leaving such a permanent legacy in this way is to leave something they will always be able to hang on to and treasure.

onlyroz

I like the idea of leaving personal letters. They'd probably need to be updated every so often but there are things you can say in a letter that are harder to say face to face.

iammumtoone

onlyroz wrote: »

I like the idea of leaving personal letters. They'd probably need to be updated every so often but there are things you can say in a letter that are harder to say face to face.

I dont think they need to be updated but additional ones need to be written every so often and added.

This thread had made me think. I am going to write a short letter to my son he is only 9 but you never know what is going to happen. I will write a new letter every 5 years or so. When I finally go hopefully he will have a bundle of letters to read. I think that would be nice, of the course the things I say now will be completely different to when he is older with a family of his own. I very much hope to be around to see that but if not at least there will be something for him.

badmemory

I have a file which is labelled with a short version of what to do if I die or lose the ability to do it myself. And I have to say that the part which is hardest is the "lose the ability to do it myself" bit. It has a copy of my will and both powers of attorney & my funeral plan. A list of providers - gas electric water & rates phone etc. I then have a sealed envelope (well series of envelopes) updated every few months with a list of my "assets" & where they are.

My son appears to believe I will live forever as I can't get him to face any of this. Having read all the above I think I will include a letter to him, it is one thing being practical but I think on this occasion I should do a little of the emotional.

itsanne

As well as the things already suggested, include either a video or a recording of your voice (possibly both). My husband died in December. A while later I suddenly panicked that I couldn't remember his voice. (That's apparently common.) My daughter found a short video with about two seconds of it, but I very much wish I had more.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

itsanne wrote: »

As well as the things already suggested, include either a video or a recording of your voice (possibly both). My husband died in December. A while later I suddenly panicked that I couldn't remember his voice. (That's apparently common.) My daughter found a short video with about two seconds of it, but I very much wish I had more.

Yes. I've got a brief clip of Himself boogeying through the living room because it was so silly and funny. And him sound asleep in a heap on the sofa with two cats sprawled out on him, all three of them snoring loudly. Stuff like that is important.

Unfortunately, both my girls were so horrified at the thought of being captured on film or camera, all I've got of their teenage years are photos of the back of their heads as they hid. I did complain at the time that, if they were to disappear, I wouldn't be able to give the police a recent photo - or if something were retrieved from the internet, they would be looking for a female with puppy ears and a dog's nose.