Open this if I am dead

onlyroz

My parents have recently installed a fire-proof safe in their house and have said that I can put some things in it. I want to write a letter to be opened by my husband in the case of my death. What should I include?


He's useless with money so I need to include details of our bank accounts, including the passwords. I probably also need to tell him who our utility providers are. And then there my wishes regarding my funeral, and organ donation etc - but he probably knows all that already. I would need to let him know how to claim my pension, and my death-in-service benefits from my job, and a life-insurance policy that I have. Is there anything else that he might need to know?

Red-Squirrel_2

Sorry to be a downer, it's a lovely idea, but would it not be better for your husband to learn this stuff while you're still alive? There are circumstances where it would be useful for him to know that don't involve you being dead! Also, he can't ask questions if there's anything he doesn't understand once you're gone!

onlyroz

It's not meant to be a "lovely idea" - it's meant to be a practical one. He does know my views on organ donation, but he doesn't know, and doesn't want to know, the log-in details for the various bank accounts, or for our gas and electricity provider. However, if I got run over by a bus tomorrow he would *have* to rapidly become acquainted with such details and I want to provide him with an easy means to do so.

lika_86

Are the bank accounts also in his name? If so then does he not have access to them already? He could go in branch with his card and ID to get access to money. If not then he shouldn't be accessing them in that way after your death.


As for gas and electricity providers etc, can you not just have a binder full of relevant documents? It doesn't need to be fire-proofed does it?

fairy_lights

I think I'd leave all the bank info, passwords etc in a protected document on your own computer, and tell him it's there in case of emergency.
The problem with leaving it in your parents safe is that due to their grief/shock at your untimely death it might get forgotten about until a later date. Or they might remember it's there but not be able to face getting it out, or open it too late to take your funeral plans in to account.

lika_86

I suppose a list of your bank accounts and account numbers would help your executor to collect the estate in, to the extent that accounts exist which couldn't reasonably be ascertained by cards in your wallet for example.


A copy of your will or details of where it is kept would be the most helpful I would think.

onlyroz

fairy_lights wrote: »

I think I'd leave all the bank info, passwords etc in a protected document on your own computer, and tell him it's there in case of emergency.
The problem with leaving it in your parents safe is that due to their grief/shock at your untimely death it might get forgotten about until a later date. Or they might remember it's there but not be able to face getting it out, or open it too late to take your funeral plans in to account.

Nope, my mum is very practical and it won't be forgotten about. Her intention is to do the same for herself, and will write something similar for me to open in the case of her death. And the safe is a convenient secure central place, rather than having documents scattered around in filing cabinets, or put into files on computers that could go missing or have somebody forget the password for opening it.


As for funeral plans - he knows that I want a secular funeral and I'm not really too fussed about the format.

Silvertabby

Get your own fire proof safe for your financial details - and make sure your husband knows how to access it. Then just leave your private letter in your parent's safe.

onlyroz

Silvertabby wrote: »

Get your own fire proof safe for your financial details - and make sure your husband knows how to access it. Then just leave your private letter in your parent's safe.

Do you know how much a decent fire-proof safe costs???

PasturesNew

He'd need to know if there anything of yours "of value", whether that's "this dish was my granny's, don't throw it out, offer it around to family", or "this ring cost me £5k and I told you it was fake, but it's not".

Red-Squirrel_2

onlyroz wrote: »

It's not meant to be a "lovely idea" - it's meant to be a practical one. He does know my views on organ donation, but he doesn't know, and doesn't want to know, the log-in details for the various bank accounts, or for our gas and electricity provider. However, if I got run over by a bus tomorrow he would *have* to rapidly become acquainted with such details and I want to provide him with an easy means to do so.

Well sorry, but it's not especially practical, it would be far more practical for you to talk about this stuff now!

I'm sure we'd all love somebody else to take all responsibility for household admin, but as adults we don't have that choice, sadly.