Open this if I am dead

onlyroz

lika_86 wrote: »

Shouldn't he know the combination now?


What happens if you're out for the day with your parents and you all get hit by a lorry on the motorway and die? I'm not saying it will happen but presumably then all their important information and yours will be inaccessible.

Sigh. I'm not suggesting hiding the combination from him. In any case if we all got hit by a lorry, or if we all had our minds wiped by aliens, then there would be an alternate way of opening the safe (the man in the shop said that you'd be able to get into it with enough persistence or, for example, a chain saw).

iammumtoone

I think it is a very good idea. I should do something similar myself as I live alone and for anyone for find these details would take forever (my home filling system is not the best ).

I would suggest you keep two separate sets of documents. One for the practical stuff (passwords/company names etc) to be opened asap and another one for letters/personal comments to leave for those to open when they feel ready and up to it.

There is no harm in keeping two copies of the practical one. One at your home for easy access and one in the safe should anything happen to the home copy, if/when the safe passes to yourself then you can get rid of the separate home copy.

DarkShadow

Use excel to record all this info. Why complicate things

Tiddlywinks

Why do people ask for opinions and then get frustrated when others have different views? What's the point?

onlyroz

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Why do people ask for opinions and then get frustrated when others have different views? What's the point?

Opinions were asked on what to put into the safe, not on the financial competence of my husband. I appreciate that comments on the latter are inevitable, but it's advice on the former that I'm after. Even if he were a financial wizard I still think I'm attempting to do a sensible thing.

onlyroz

DarkShadow wrote: »

Use excel to record all this info. Why complicate things

Using excel is fine, unless the house burns down taking the computer with it, or the computer is hacked and the info stolen. One option is to create the excel spreadsheet, password protect it, upload it to the cloud and then make sure the password is stored in the safe.

penguingirl

onlyroz wrote: »

Using excel is fine, unless the house burns down taking the computer with it, or the computer is hacked and the info stolen. One option is to create the excel spreadsheet, password protect it, upload it to the cloud and then make sure the password is stored in the safe.

Or save it on something like Google drive with shared permissions. And a password you both know now.

I don't understand having things like utility providers in the safe- chances are it will be outdated information by the time he opens it (especially as MSE encourages us to regularly change provider) and it's hardly confidential information. If you have a direct debit from a joint account it's pretty obvious who your current provider is from a recent statement. Things like passwords are trickier- especially as legally it is dodgy to access accounts of someone dead if you intend to make any changes (eg, banking, utilities). You'd be better just being jointly named on all accounts. I understand things like emails, social media, photo storage etc are different but I'd be wary about any financial products.

lika_86

onlyroz wrote: »

Sigh. I'm not suggesting hiding the combination from him. In any case if we all got hit by a lorry, or if we all had our minds wiped by aliens, then there would be an alternate way of opening the safe (the man in the shop said that you'd be able to get into it with enough persistence or, for example, a chain saw).

And I wasn't suggesting you were hiding it from him. Just that if you're going to all this trouble to prepare things for your husband after your death then it might be a good idea to prepare him to be able to open the safe without resorting to a chain saw!

Robisere

OH and I have joint everything, but I am the one who usually checks the bank and other finances, including downloading, printing and filing statements. I do encourage her to check it all online regularly, as I remember how our parents were with household finances. My dad was a miner all his life and mum looked after the money, which meant saving a little in the Post Office, stuffing the rest into an envelope and hiding it. Not until I was older did I realise how they ran the household: dad turned over all his pay packet each week, mum gave him spending money and that was the end of his financial worries, mum was in charge of everything. In later years, after they retired, I set them up with a bank account and had most of their pensions, and an industrial injury payment, paid into it. Then set up DD's to save them the hassle of paying bills as they grew older.

My FIL performed the same function as my mum, with MIL: he banked the money, gave MIL housekeeping, and he ran all their finances. Both these situations were complicated by the wives outliving the husbands and a probate mess left for descendants. In view of that, when we married, we decided to share everything and have no part of our finances separate from each other.

I keep files and tell my wife where everything is, including details of my 2 small private pensions and my Service Pension. We both have valuable family heirlooms and we had them valued, for our kids' information this is kept in a file marked for them. Most importantly, we have a will each and we have twice had occasion to update it.

Allowing one partner to organise the financial affairs of the family alone, is a big mistake. Sharing information is a must.

meer53

When my MIL was left alone when my FIL died, it was so sad to see her struggle with everyday things like banking, insurance, reading the meters, paying bills etc. Even if he'd left instructions on what to do she would still have been in a complete panic about doing it, it doesn't help people to let them absolve themselves from doing everyday tasks just because they don't like it.

OP, when your husband gets your letter from the safe, how do you think he will feel ? Apart from the fact that you will have gone, he will have all this new stuff to deal with, will it not be better to get him involved now ?