Open this if I am dead

onlyroz

ManofLeisure wrote: »

Call me an old romantic, but what about a letter which will aid his emotional recovery on your death. Crikey, opening a safe full of info about financial matters etc seems a little sterile to me. Just my opinion of course.

Sounds like a good idea.

Spendless

I pointed out the same thing to my parents some months back. Both were admitted to hospital with things that could have killed them and I told them that in the event of their deaths, I had no idea where their stuff was. eg I knew they have a will, but I don't know who the solicitors are they used. They have a fire-proof safe too, where they could leave me any instructions.

greenbee

It would make sense to keep your birth certificates, marriage certificate and kids birth certificates in the safe as they are rarely needed but a PITA to replace. And may be needed in the event of your death.

As for the rest - passwords aren't necessary unless accounts are jointly held, as accessing someone else's account after their death breaches Ts&Cs and in some cases may be considered fraudulent. But a list of financial, utility, online shopping and social media accounts that will need dealing wit would be helpful.

A letter of intent saying what you want done with valuables/sentimental items avoids too much detail in a will and the need to keep updating it.

uberalles

greenbee wrote: »

As for the rest - passwords aren't necessary unless accounts are jointly held, as accessing someone else's account after their death breaches Ts&Cs and in some cases may be considered fraudulent. But a list of financial, utility, online shopping and social media accounts that will need dealing wit would be helpful.

.

Thank you. This is what I have wanted to say for the past couple of days but couldn't be asked to debate the point. I am aware of one such current case.

peachyprice

onlyroz wrote: »

i think I've said at least three times now that I think a good solution would be to maintain an electronic document and put the password for it in the safe.

But why can't you just tell him the passwords? Why the need to lock them away somewhere he has to go asking for them?

My parents have a safe, all that I have in it is my grandmother's jewellery, because I consider it to be a family asset, not mine. I wouldn't put anything that is solely between myself and my husband in there, it's just not right that they they would have direct access to something that he may need but he has to go asking.

So what if your parents are on a world cruise, uncontactable in the middle of the Atlantic when something happens to you? Not only does he have to deal with the stress of losing you he can't do anything because everthing he needs has been put somewhere he can't get to.


I really, really don't understand your obsession with this safe.

suejb2

onlyroz wrote: »

My parents have recently installed a fire-proof safe in their house and have said that I can put some things in it. I want to write a letter to be opened by my husband in the case of my death. What should I include?



Here's a thought.....ask your husband!

onlyroz

peachyprice wrote: »

But why can't you just tell him the passwords? Why the need to lock them away somewhere he has to go asking for them?

My parents have a safe, all that I have in it is my grandmother's jewellery, because I consider it to be a family asset, not mine. I wouldn't put anything that is solely between myself and my husband in there, it's just not right that they they would have direct access to something that he may need but he has to go asking.

So what if your parents are on a world cruise, uncontactable in the middle of the Atlantic when something happens to you? Not only does he have to deal with the stress of losing you he can't do anything because everthing he needs has been put somewhere he can't get to.


I really, really don't understand your obsession with this safe.

I don't believe I ever said that I wouldn't tell him the password, or that he didn't have access to my parents' house or their safe.

People are obsessing over the details here - the safe - whether it's sensible or not for only one person to manage the household finances.

My question is simple and can be boiled down to: what information would be useful to a person whose spouse has died?

Thank you to the people who have actually provided useful input in this regard.

onlyroz

Here's a thought.....ask your husband!

What makes you think I haven't?

iammumtoone

onlyroz wrote: »

My question is simple and can be boiled down to: what information would be useful to a person whose spouse has died?

Its actually a very sensible question unfortunately replies seem to have got lost in the criticism.

In every house hold there will be one spouse who deals with certain things even if its split eg one sorts utilities other insurances. When a person dies it will be so much easier for the person left behind (at a time they will not be thinking straight) to have all account numbers etc in one place. Just because this information is written down in an easy format does not mean the other person would not be capable of finding it out, it just makes the process a whole lot easier.

I live on my own if i got knocked over by a bus tomorrow all this information could be found via bank statements, sorting through paperwork etc however I will writing a list of everything to save my relatives the pain of having to find it out the long way.

suejb2

onlyroz wrote: »

What makes you think I haven't?

Did you not like his reply?