When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Hiddenidenity

mummytogirls wrote: »

Evening HI,

So sorry to hear you've not had a good start to the week but how exciting about the new cooker. Soooo excited for you!!!

Get yourself to Primarni and buy yourself a t-shirt girl, can't be wearing a jumper in this weather!! xx

I need a t-shirt! I decided! Its far too hot and I look stupid :rotfl::rotfl:

emmie26 wrote: »

Yay for the cooker, finally some good news

So excited over the cooker :T :rotfl:

DaringToDream_2

Woo hoo for the new cooker, that's great news!!

Chandelier.

Great news on the cooker Hidden.

Sorry to hear about your husband antics.. does he realise what you're doing to get rid of the debt?

Hope little one is well.

Bobarella

How was your daughter last night? It is horrible when you get patches with no sleep.

Hiddenidenity

He knows exactly how tight things are and how selfish I think he is, worst is he decided to stay and argue this morning so isn't even in work yet meaning next weeks bonus is gone too :mad: Just about had enough. Will speak to my mum later about sorting something out.

Still yay for cooker

DD slept and is still sleeping I kept waking to check on her. I've asked her nurse to squeeze us in on her home visit list today. Thank you for asking x

ada-or-ardor

HI, do you mind if I ask a personal question. You don't have to answer of course, but I just can't resist asking...! Has your OH always been this irresponsible with money, and has he always been this openly selfish and not caring how it impacts you and the family? Because when I read all his antics, especially recently, losing all his bonuses and not caring at all, I wonder if he is trying to get back at your for your gambling, as kind of an "F you" and it's how he is expressing his anger and disappointment in you. If that is the case, he made his decision to stay with you and that means he has to move on - he can't hold it against you for the rest of your lives together. So just don't think you have to stay and put up with this because you're not perfect either. Ultimately it should be about whether you're happy together or not NOW, regardless of what has happened in the past. Maybe I'm totally off and he's always been like this in which case, you know what you're dealing with and it's your decision to stay or go! But I guess I just am trying to comprehend how someone can be so knowingly selfish to their loved ones and not have a reason underlying it....!!!

Keep your chin up, you are doing so well in the face of all the adversity.

Hope I haven't spoken out of turn. Ada

Hiddenidenity

Of course you haven't spoken out of turn.

The money to his friends/the money he spends daily he has always done, this is his argument. He's always done it I cant 'expect' him to change.

We've separated over it before, it gets a little better then it ends up exactly like it was. I guess he's right in that I can't change him, but he should want to change it for the sake of his kids and himself if not for me. We all do things pre kids that we can't do once children come along.

EssexHebridean

The only real question for me with your OH is do you love him in spite of his behaviour enough that it makes putting up with the behaviour the best option? If so, then that's your call and nobody else has any right to judge you on that IMO. If he's now pushing you to the point where being on your own with the children would be the best option for all of you though, I think you already know you'll get all the support you can wish for here while you make that happen. I do understand that there is a lot more going on here than just the financial stuff though - it must be a horrible situation to find yourself in.

To an extent do you think that because you've split up before and got back together that means he now thinks he can get away with whatever because you will take him back?

That's brilliant news about the cooker! I share your joy as I've only just got a shiny new one myself! :T

Hiddenidenity

EssexHebridean wrote: »

The only real question for me with your OH is do you love him in spite of his behaviour enough that it makes putting up with the behaviour the best option? If so, then that's your call and nobody else has any right to judge you on that IMO. If he's now pushing you to the point where being on your own with the children would be the best option for all of you though, I think you already know you'll get all the support you can wish for here while you make that happen. I do understand that there is a lot more going on here than just the financial stuff though - it must be a horrible situation to find yourself in.

To an extent do you think that because you've split up before and got back together that means he now thinks he can get away with whatever because you will take him back?

That's brilliant news about the cooker! I share your joy as I've only just got a shiny new one myself! :T

This is exactly what he's like. He doesn't even deny it and often says why be mad/upset because you know it won't change. That doesn't mean I don't want too.

Again your right that doesn't just go for the money side of things, he takes full advantage of being single, and free while in reality he isn't but knows that he can get away with anything.

emmie26

Sending you hugs, my OH is gripping onto the money saving wagon by his finger tips and very reluctantly. I think when they are working hard they feel entitled to spend money and not just hand it over to go 'in the abyss' as my DH says. Last time I forced him to look at what we were paying off and he did get on board. This time he is less committed I think because it's all on 0% or thereabouts so he thinks there is no rush.
Let's all hope everytime your DH spends some money unnecessarily he gets a sharp pain in the bum as though we are all collectively giving him a kick maybe that would change his ways.