When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

monz

Aw hon you been through so much!! you are so strong

[Deleted User]

Morning HI,

I sympathise with the kids about Sport's Day, will they do it another day before the end of term?

I've got a few weeks off in the Summer holidays, can't wait. xx

Hiddenidenity

I'm not sure on DS it says they will text with an update. Which I guess isn't too bad for parents like me who aren't working but I can't imagine it will be easy for those who's parent do work!

DD should have been at 9.15 but the text came to cancel, then a text at 9.30 saying it would go ahead at 10am. Then a text at 9.45 to say nope it wouldn't, maybe this afternoon!

To be honest it's said rain all week for today they should have changed it before today I think

EssexHebridean

I'd definitely have been right there cheering with the one who was happy it had been cancelled Hidden - I LOATHED Sports Days at school!

Something to think about, and maybe bear in mind - you're currently comparing your own perception of yourself, which will naturally tend towards the critical, with your perception of others. It's not a fair comparison because you don't know how those other people are feeling about things inside. They might be comparing themselves with you and thinking how great a Mum you are (which clearly you are) how clean and tidy you keep your home and your children (which clearly you do) and how organised and "together" you seem - because, you know what, you ARE. How many other people could handle the situations you juggle with OH being a - to borrow Top Gear Parlance - Big Male Chicken, the shortage of month, and the demands of a life involving three children one of whom has specific and demanding medical needs? O(f course there are people out there who have absolutely confidence in the person they are, what they look like, what they do and how they present themselves - but you know what? In my experience they're mostly - wait for it - NOT VERY NICE PEOPLE! For most of us, we're trundling along wishing we could change stuff about ourselves from our fat knees to the way we react to certain situations, but nobody else knows that because those knees and reactions embarrass us so we tend to keep quiet about them. "Just you" is a perfectly fine person to be - I'm pretty sure you've got your faults, but you've also most definitely got a lot of extremely good points - there is no "better" than you, there's just "different to you" instead. I'd give you a hug but MSE only offers deeply dodgy ones!

[Deleted User]

EssexHebridean wrote: »

I'd definitely have been right there cheering with the one who was happy it had been cancelled Hidden - I LOATHED Sports Days at school!

Something to think about, and maybe bear in mind - you're currently comparing your own perception of yourself, which will naturally tend towards the critical, with your perception of others. It's not a fair comparison because you don't know how those other people are feeling about things inside. They might be comparing themselves with you and thinking how great a Mum you are (which clearly you are) how clean and tidy you keep your home and your children (which clearly you do) and how organised and "together" you seem - because, you know what, you ARE. How many other people could handle the situations you juggle with OH being a - to borrow Top Gear Parlance - Big Male Chicken, the shortage of month, and the demands of a life involving three children one of whom has specific and demanding medical needs? O(f course there are people out there who have absolutely confidence in the person they are, what they look like, what they do and how they present themselves - but you know what? In my experience they're mostly - wait for it - NOT VERY NICE PEOPLE! For most of us, we're trundling along wishing we could change stuff about ourselves from our fat knees to the way we react to certain situations, but nobody else knows that because those knees and reactions embarrass us so we tend to keep quiet about them. "Just you" is a perfectly fine person to be - I'm pretty sure you've got your faults, but you've also most definitely got a lot of extremely good points - there is no "better" than you, there's just "different to you" instead. I'd give you a hug but MSE only offers deeply dodgy ones!

Well said EH, totally agree with you there.

(and I hated sports day too)

Hiddenidenity

EssexHebridean wrote: »

I'd definitely have been right there cheering with the one who was happy it had been cancelled Hidden - I LOATHED Sports Days at school!

Something to think about, and maybe bear in mind - you're currently comparing your own perception of yourself, which will naturally tend towards the critical, with your perception of others. It's not a fair comparison because you don't know how those other people are feeling about things inside. They might be comparing themselves with you and thinking how great a Mum you are (which clearly you are) how clean and tidy you keep your home and your children (which clearly you do) and how organised and "together" you seem - because, you know what, you ARE. How many other people could handle the situations you juggle with OH being a - to borrow Top Gear Parlance - Big Male Chicken, the shortage of month, and the demands of a life involving three children one of whom has specific and demanding medical needs? O(f course there are people out there who have absolutely confidence in the person they are, what they look like, what they do and how they present themselves - but you know what? In my experience they're mostly - wait for it - NOT VERY NICE PEOPLE! For most of us, we're trundling along wishing we could change stuff about ourselves from our fat knees to the way we react to certain situations, but nobody else knows that because those knees and reactions embarrass us so we tend to keep quiet about them. "Just you" is a perfectly fine person to be - I'm pretty sure you've got your faults, but you've also most definitely got a lot of extremely good points - there is no "better" than you, there's just "different to you" instead. I'd give you a hug but MSE only offers deeply dodgy ones!

I actually don't know what to reply to that But I totally understand where you're coming from. I know I have to get to the root of the problem of why I feel like the need to change myself to fit in or to feel like I am normal

I do realise this sounds totally stupid.

Thank you so much for your nice words, and the dodgy hugs :rotfl:

EssexHebridean

It doesn't sound stupid at all - it sounds absolutely normal. Everyone compares, to a greater or a lesser degree.

Something I saw ages ago and absolutely love - "Be yourself - everyone else is already taken!" - s'true, that!

Concentrate on changing the things that you can change but based on yourself NOT on others, or on what you think you *should* be doing. It's OK not to like yourself sometimes - but equally embrace the good bits and remind yourself of them. Your kids clearly adore you and children are usually incredibly good judges of character.

Doobop

What a lot of posts to catch up on! I bet your kids love the summer holidays with you. Another one who hated sports day here!

Hiddenidenity

Doobop wrote: »

What a lot of posts to catch up on! I bet your kids love the summer holidays with you. Another one who hated sports day here!

One thing I am good at is rambling on :rotfl:

Sports day hasn't been today I'm happy about that :rotfl:

Hiddenidenity

Wage slips are in, not as bad as it could be, but far from good. Still we will manage.

No log in details for my bank yet Which will mean I can't access my child benefit and tax credits tomorrow. A good way to be MSE :rotfl: but slightly annoying. If things get desperate I will have to go to town into branch but this is a total pain! So will hold out.

Tax credits have gone down to less than half what they where. I'm sure come next year we will lose them all together but at least the renewals are done for another 12 months.

Chilli in the slow cooker for dinner, I want an early night tonight :rotfl: like that ever happens!