When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Hiddenidenity

Or maybe one of his friends can put him up and he can treat them like he does us wonder how long that'd last.

Nothing much done today and there won't be much getting done. It's clean, dinners on. That'll do for today. My heads pounding, no surveys being done. I'm just going to lay on the sofa feeling meh

Toni'sfriend

He isn't single, he isn't free and he has responsibilities even if he's not willing to accept them. I've been reading your diary every day since you started it and I am at a total loss as to what to say to you now. Hope you feel a bit better after a lie down.

Hiddenidenity

I will put up and shut up until we are debt free, then I can decide more where and what to do next x I have to try hard not to moan to much about him in here I don't want to bore everyone away.

Thank you x

ada-or-ardor

Just as long as you know that you don't have to let him get away with everything. Big hugs x

Toni'sfriend

You're not boring anyone. Moan as much as you like if it helps. Take care.

UncannyScot

Toni'sfriend wrote: »

He isn't single, he isn't free and he has responsibilities even if he's not willing to accept them. I've been reading your diary every day since you started it and I am at a total loss as to what to say to you now. Hope you feel a bit better after a lie down.

Hits the nail right on the head there...

EssexHebridean

Hiddenidenity wrote: »

I will put up and shut up until we are debt free, then I can decide more where and what to do next x I have to try hard not to moan to much about him in here I don't want to bore everyone away.

Thank you x

Genuine question: is it feasible for you to get debt free with him acting as he is? Or are you going to remain trapped in a vicious circle of you working your backside off to rustle up extra money and pay things off while he cheerfully spends whatever you save?

You're not boring anyone lovely - it's just that you're in a situation with no clear solution! if you need to moan, moan, just make sure you always read back before hitting "post" so you don't type anything you wish you hadn't later!

Is his money now going straight into an account that you have control of? If he's stupid and loses his bonus can you simply knock his spends money for the following week right back to essentials only (by which I mean work travel, and....well, actually, just work travel!) This will at least reduce the impact his foolishness is having on the family budget?

Hiddenidenity

I guess its just easier to let him carry on. I know it will take longer to get debt free with things like they are, however I can't take my name of the tenancy here until the court order is paid, same goes for taking his name off. So yeah a bit stuck along with the kids totally idolising their dad, as long as they are happy I am too.



In other news of kids happiness DD got star of the week again this week Least I must be doing something right

EssexHebridean

That's that questiojn answered then Hidden - good enough for me!

And great work from DD! A :starmod: indeed! :T

Hiddenidenity

It's something I'll look into more after some advice I've just been given. I just don't want to 'up and leave' when I can't remove him from the court orders etc and him having the potential to make things a whole load bigger than it already is. Plus the fact I'd never pass a credit check etc to get a new rental while still being tied to the arrears here. I guess its food for thought, because I'm not too unrealistic to see that this can't carry on forever and the kids are now getting to an age they can see things.