When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Toni'sfriend

You're doing a lot of things right. Well done DD and you.

Mabr

Hi, like many people I've been following your diary and am full of admiration for how you're coping with such a difficult situation. I was so interested I read through some of your old threads but now I'm totally confused. I obviously haven't read everything but I see you've been back and forwards many times to this forum but it appears (and apologies if I'm entirely wrong) it seems that the father of your older two children is off the scene until they're at least 18 and the father of your youngest has sadly passed away. I had thought you'd been with your OH since you were 14, but obviously not. If your OH is not the biological father of the kids maybe he simply doesn't feel the commitment to cut back on his own spending to ensure you and the children have sufficient and maybe you need to consider that when you're looking at future plans. Sorry if I've picked things up completely wrong or have spoken out of turn - I just think you need to think about your own needs going forward.

Hiddenidenity

Mabr wrote: »

Hi, like many people I've been following your diary and am full of admiration for how you're coping with such a difficult situation. I was so interested I read through some of your old threads but now I'm totally confused. I obviously haven't read everything but I see you've been back and forwards many times to this forum but it appears (and apologies if I'm entirely wrong) it seems that the father of your older two children is off the scene until they're at least 18 and the father of your youngest has sadly passed away. I had thought you'd been with your OH since you were 14, but obviously not. If your OH is not the biological father of the kids maybe he simply doesn't feel the commitment to cut back on his own spending to ensure you and the children have sufficient and maybe you need to consider that when you're looking at future plans. Sorry if I've picked things up completely wrong or have spoken out of turn - I just think you need to think about your own needs going forward.

If you read back on here I don't know how to link the post. We have been back and forward for years. I moved on so did he (several times) and we got back together, had youngest, split again, got back again. It's been a lot of back and forth and like I say more goes on than the money side of things. I don't want/didn't want to turn here to more than the financial problems in the relationship. He lost PR through reasons that are his own fault and no one to blame other than himself. Regardless of the PR he should still feel the commitment to them. As I said his own actions got him in the position he is.

I hope this makes sense without giving too much away.

ETA: Like I said I know I haven't been perfect, I did fall into gambling and was spending ALOT of our income/taking loans/borrowing etc. It all come to a head in March and I knew I needed help.

Hiddenidenity

Finally a NSD Tomorrow probably won't be, I have two sports days and they are raising funds so no doubt I'll be roped into spending something.

Made spag bol for dinner and I will turn the leftovers into chilli tomorrow. Will need to a shop this week, but happy we managed the week without going to top up.

DS still needs his hair cut Will do this weekend. Making no big plans for weekend, think OH will be working Saturday and me and the kids can just do things in our own time.

Finally have my first psychologist appointment, apparently this is more like an assessment than anything else to see what services they will be putting me under.

Tomorrow I have an ebay parcel to post too along with posting some bits off to various places. I think I need to write a list so I don't forget anything :rotfl:

Its still SO hot!

Treadingonplaymobil

I have nothing wildly useful to add to everyone else's advice, but just wanted to offer support and say you're doing so well persevering in the face of trickier circumstances than many on here have.

Hiddenidenity

Thank you x

Well sports day is cancelled because of the rain. I have one who's happy and one who isn't ha!

So today will be spent cleaning bits that got missed this morning and writing a meal plan shopping list.

Still waiting on PA hitting circle and I can't check if the other survey money has hit the bank until my log in details arrive in the post.

OH spoke to work and should only lose one days bonus this week so fingers crossed it shows that in next week's wage.

I have two school trips to pay for next week £35

Only 20 more days in school till summer holidays! We are far too excited considering we don't have any plans haha!

Toni'sfriend

Hello Hidden
I must confess I get a bit confused with your situation myself at times. Your life seems so complicated but you do cope with what life throws at you so well. I honestly don't know how you do it sometimes.
How long are the school holidays? They seem to get longer and noisier every year or am I just showing my age?

Hiddenidenity

Things have been wild in the past, not so much more recently. I was very much flitting back and forth. Everytime he did something I'd think **** it I'm going. I stayed on and off with my mum in between my dad dying and her finding her now husband (I think this caused a whole truck load of issues in mine and his relationship which was obviously my fault) I was very much looking to 'fit in' somewhere damaging everything I had along the way. Like I say in March things come to a head and I had no choice but to seek help. Real help and now I'm going to say everything is just fixed, it isn't I'm still battling my own demons while wanting to try the best for the kids

I think I said back at the start I Dont like ME, Who I am, What I do. There's nothing I can say I like I want to be different, someone different. Either someone better or worse than me just not "me"

Hiddenidenity

School ends 21st July and they go back 4th September!

I love the school holidays But I know many don't. I miss the routine though.

Toni'sfriend

Well, I'm glad you're feeling a bit more positive now even though it's still obviously a very difficult situation.
I worked when my son was small so didn't get to enjoy the summer holidays fully but I did try to make the most of the time we had. I wish now I'd had the opportunity to spend more time with him. You're very inventive. I'm sure you'll find lots to do with them and they'll love it.