When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Suffolk_lass

I don't want to offend your readers here HI but I do not really agree with the implied suggestion that you should separate from your other half.

Sorry to be the maverick here but this is a forum. We are here to support, encourage, and share ideas. The only people who really know what is going on in any relationship are the people in it and it isn't really for us, your debt diary readers, to judge. If you want to leave your OH that is for you to decide with him - not us on here. I use my own posts to vent my frustrations about my husband and Son sometimes but it does not mean I would ever wish to be without either of them.

I just think we need to step back from jumping to conclusions and offering life-changing advice without really knowing. We hear, we don't know

Hiddenidenity

Thank you for your replies.

I have no plans to leave other half. We've done it. He left I tried to move on we ended up back together every time. As said before he is all I've really known and I like that. He isn't perfect no. Nor am I. Yes the debt is mostly him or from his lack of paying things. He's always been the one to have the income etc and I've been at home (his choice too before anyone jumps on this) I'm not work shy but he would prefer it if I was at home.

If I hadn't been gambling we could have paid the debt. If he stopped spending and stopped swapping jobs everything he gets bored we could be debt free. We both have been stupid.

Yes he could be more helpful or even just listen and help more with regards to my MH but he just doesn't get it and he isn't alone. Many don't.

He's exactly the same as when we met. I can't expect him to change unless it's his choice and he wants too. That doesn't mean it doesn't get on top of me at times though.

Yes I could hand over some of the debts etc for him to deal with. However previously I've left it to him and it's resulted in bailiffs/court fines etc etc. It's me that's at home and me who has to face the bailiffs when they arrive. It's me who had to stand in court and beg for us not to be evicted etc.

Hiddenidenity

Oh and I'm not offended by any of the replies at all. I appreciate every single one.

I do take on board and what's said and as soon as I'm home I'll be back to the debt busting and not moaning about my relationship. I know I went of the rails with my moaning.

Toni'sfriend

I really hope everything works out for you.

Hiddenidenity

Thank you and thank you for all your replies.

I hope I haven't offended anyone and that those who have and do help continue to do so.

UncannyScot

Hey, no offence taken here

Will continue to follow your progress and offer advice and as far as my advice goes, you can take it or ignore it, that's your choice and I'd never be offended at that
(((((HUGS)))))

kirtsypoos

It's not about going off track HI, it's your diary - it may be a debt free forum but I rarely use my diary as a debt diary to be honest. You feel free to rant or be happy about absolutely anything!

I don't necessarily think leaving your OH is the way forward for you and I hope I didn't come across as judgemental - like you said you have tried this before and it didn't work so obviously something strong keeps you together - I just think he needs to step up more - you've done so well stopping gambling and it must be annoying to know that you could get it paid off sooner with just 1 less packet of fags a week or one less second lunch bought.

I had a very very tough time with my OH last year and vented a lot on her - like Suffolk Lass says, this is a place to vent and doesn't always show the true picture - I'm sure some lovely people who read and comment on my diary thought I was absolutely mad to stay with him, but only the people who are in the situation know what is truly right for them at that time.

Sun_Addict

Hello HI, found your diary, thank you for being supportive on mine (and on others too). I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through. From reading diaries on here it seems rare to find one that's just about the money, there's usually a story behind it.

You vent on here all you want, we're here to virtually listen. Your OH is lucky to have you, I hope he appreciates it and gets on board soon.

Doobop

Hope it's been ok going back home. Agree with others, not for us to advise what you should do about OH, you have our support whatever. Hope you come back to good post giving you lots of money

Supersaver88

Truly an inspiration Hidden! It's a difficult situation you're in and there's clearly many pressures, which are being compounded by OH and his selfish and pretty childish view on what he wants, needs and deserves.
I understand he goes to work and is owed some money but he should be under no illusion that he should be stepping up to the plate, not putting more pressure on your finances.
I only get to see what's written in your diary, I'm sure he's a great guy and I don't mean to come across as mean, but he really does need a quick look in the mirror.
All I see is somebody striving to pull you out of your currant situation, you really do have the patience of a saint lol, I'd have lost it by now.
Keep plugging away, you'll get there and I'm cheering you on.
SS