When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Eager_Elephant

I don't understand why they have used 3 mths payslips prior to April if you had told them clearly that the figures were not correct going forward.

If I have weekly paid clients I work out an average over 5 weeks or I take the lowest amount it could be and work with that budget and any income over that can go on more food or to pay a priority bill off quicker.

I think you need to see a Money Adviser who is more independent - the Money Advisers for councils will have the interests of the council at the core of everything whereas independent's have the clients best interests at heart.

I work for an independent but am contracted to a council so the clients get the convenience of seeing me in the council offices but they know I am independent plus the council don't get to see my notes or financial statements or evidence unless I feel they need to see it.

I'm glad you have a local housing advice service you can use - try not to worry about the rent too much.

Hiddenidenity

I think I'm just fed up and not wanting to go home. Then him wanting more money. Then the rent etc. I feel like me and the kids are the only ones who have 'cut back' yet he hasnt changed and isn't taking anything seriously because he doesn't care.
Or at least he doesn't show he cares.

My mum's so on the fence. She will listen but is very much you've made your bed so you can lay in it.

Being away had made me realise just how much me and the kids do spend (nothing other than £9 they had from my mum. The £20 in my purse is still there!) We have still had fun every day and have done everything they wanted. Yet he can't manage with £150

We will manage. We've no choice. But it just makes me so annoyed even more so when I'm struggling with my mood anyway.

I'm sorry for moaning on here. It will be back to what the diaries for and debt busting.

[Deleted User]

Hugs HI, no practical advice I'm afraid.

You are doing brilliantly in a very difficult situation, to throw the towel in now.

Please seek some independent advice, there must be someone who can help.

And moan as much as you like Hun, you need somewhere to vent xxx

tori.k

This is a very personal response and out of line, but give some thought to maybe living separately for a time, financially it would give you a break to get back on your feet and some time to reflect and deal with everything else that's going on, it may actually benefit your relationship give you both a chance to remember why you are together by removing some of the stress, and give you some space doesn't sound like you get much if any me time. And if you don't get to step back every once in a while you will burn yourself out trying to shoulder this all.

armchairexpert

Hidden I can't remember if I've posted on your thread before so apologies if I'm just a lurker springing suddenly out of the shadows!

Have you ever sat down and worked out what you'd be entitled to if you were single with the children?

Doobop

Just wanted to say don't give up. The DLA, possible carers allowance and the gas/ electric help you may get are all big things that will help if they come off.

Eager_Elephant

armchairexpert wrote: »

Hidden I can't remember if I've posted on your thread before so apologies if I'm just a lurker springing suddenly out of the shadows!

Have you ever sat down and worked out what you'd be entitled to if you were single with the children?

I posted last week or the week before about hidden's entitlement if she was single - suffice to say she would have more income and less outgoings as no husband to spend all the money!!!

Hidden - I hope you make the right decision. I don't see why your DH can live his life the same while you and the kids cut back more and more.

Suffolk_lass

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

I believe hidden has already rung for the form - I can't recall if she has received it yet but her consultant has agreed to complete the section that a medical person can complete so fingers crossed this would get awarded.

Yes, you are right, HI has asked for the form - I should have elaborated.

The link helpfully tells you what criteria and how to satisfy them to maximise the level of allowance against the two component elements. It sets out what "regular" and "frequent" mean, so that completing the form can be done in a way that does not underplay the contribution being made to the child's care and support, giving the best chance of getting the higher levels. She sure needs it.

Doobop

Another little thought - the debt s to friends and family - could you prioritize then now then when cleared go back to debt advice? Probably bad advice financially as friends won't charge you interest but just a thought. I'd be very wary about more debt to your mum, as these debts aren't taken into account.

Toni'sfriend

Hidden - I hope you make the right decision too - hard as it may be to do so. I have to say that it is beyond my comprehension how OH can spend as much money and more on himself as he gives you to feed and clothe yourself and the children and pay the bills plus debts.