When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Hiddenidenity

I'm sure I will hopefully soon

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Toni'sfriend

Hidden, can you get an appointment with your doctor first thing tomorrow? Is there anyone you could talk to just now (family, friend?) or someone who could just be there with you? Sometimes I just used to sit with my son. We didn't speak but it helped him not to feel alone. xxx

sashybo

Aww Hidden *big hugs* I went through a period of depression in my early twenties where everything felt too much to cope with but at the same time it didn’t feel like there was a point to anything/it didn’t matter.

I just felt like a misfit in my own life & just felt all this despair but couldn’t articulate it or even admit it. I was too proud to ask for help & I only got it when I went to the doctor about something else. He was very perceptive & saw that something was wrong and asked if everything was alright, did I want to talk about anything else. That was all it took as I was at breaking point and I just sat and cried.

I was on anti-depressants for about a year and that was enough to get me through it but I have a few family members that have also been on them combined with counselling etc to get them through.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling the way you do, you’ve been through so much that it’s taken a toll on you. With the right help from the right professionals you can get through the worst of it and get back to your own version of normal. You can do it - look at what you’ve already achieved in your life & how well you’ve done with your kids.

If they were feeling like this you’d want them to get the right help, wouldn’t you? Self-care isn’t only an act of love towards yourself, it’s an act of love for your children - because as you know they love and need you - you are the centre of their world - do what you need to to look after yourself Hidden.

Doobop

It may not feel like it right now but things will get better and you will not always feel like this. Just get through today and ring your doctor in the morning x

earthgirl

Hi hidden, just wanted to add my support. Loads of great advice above. I spoke to Samaritans when I couldn’t speak to anyone else. It was helpful and totally anonymous. Thinking of you and wishing you well.

Hiddenidenity

Thank you again I will read all the replies again and reply to each one as soon as I can.

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Thank you again to everyone

Toni'sfriend

Hidden, did you speak to the doctor or was it a receptionist? I would suggest if they can't give you an appointment with your GP say you need a home visit. You need to speak to a doctor. Other than that I am sure there will be people on here who can guide you down another route. What has come across to me here is the number of people who have found themselves in your position over the years and, therefore, there is a lot of real help here. Easy for me to say but please listen to them and remember you are not alone. xxx

EssexHebridean

If you can't get a physical appointment with the GP Hidden they should be able to arrange a telephone consultation for you. And remember you don't *have* to tell the receptionist what it's about if you don't feel comfortable with that.

Hiddenidenity

I will try the GP again. If not I have got a number for somewhere else from the crisis team.

Speaking to him while hasn't been helpful, it isn't his fault.

There is however debt I had no idea about in my name.
My wages came in and went out - but still I'll fall short on the rent court order before next payday which won't go well seeing its the 4th month running.

Council tax - same as above

This is just the tip of the iceberg and so overwhelming not to mention what is really going on in the background. I ultimately feel this is all my fault. I choose to make the choices to make it my job alone to meet the repayments required and while I do I just simply can't catch up enough to make it work soon enough.

I've been to CAB, been to housing welfare etc. I've exhausted every avenue even attempting to get a credit card hence how this debt I didn't know about came around.

I don't even know where to start rebuilding things from here.

Back when I first posted here in May I really believed that had been rock bottom and things couldn't get worse. I was so so wrong.

I understand to others this is nothing, people do have bigger problems than I do. I don't doubt that.

UncannyScot

EssexHebridean wrote: »

If you can't get a physical appointment with the GP Hidden they should be able to arrange a telephone consultation for you. And remember you don't *have* to tell the receptionist what it's about if you don't feel comfortable with that.

Absolutely, a polite way to deal with it is something like, "I appreciate that as a receptionist you are required to gather info regarding patients to assist the GP. However, this is a private and personal matter that I would rather discuss the GP themselves, thank you."
or something like that