When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

117pauline

I can only add to the posts here to encourage you to look for support in real life. Many of us have had to take that difficult first step outside ourselves to get support so we can start to see life more objectively.

This year has been awful for so many reasons for you. However you have kept on, trying to make life better. I think you are so mentally and physically exhausted that you can't see the situation clearly and that has left you feeling as though life is elsewhere, as though you are outside looking in.

Just consider what you would advise one of us or a close friend who was in a similar place to where you are now. Looking and finding support is a sign of strength and you have so much in you

Take care, look after yourself honey
Pauline

UncannyScot

Hoping you managed to get some rest and sleep
(((((HUGS)))))

helsbell

I can only echo all the excellent advice already given. Please don't think you shouldn't post about it on here, if that's what helps then that's what you must do. There are many many people here who support you.

I have experienced the kind of detachment you describe, feeling like you are watching your own life. It can be difficult to explain to others exactly how you feel but in my experience the act of trying to explain helps. It helps to quantify the 'problem', which takes away its power to be all consuming, which in turn gives you space to start the tiniest of steps to getting better. And each step after that is just a tiny bit bigger than the last.

I hope you feel able to get in touch with one of the services mentioned above.

((((Hugs))))

abba1772

Really hope you're ok xx

Sun_Addict

Just checking in on you Hidden. I can't help but think you were doing fine until you know who made a reappearance.

pennywisepoundstupid

Hope your ok Hidden, hope your ok and somewhere safe. xx

Hiddenidenity

Sorry I've only just come back online, I can't reply to them all right now separately but I do thank each and everyone that has spent time replying and messaging. I don't really know what I want to say to talk to someone Thank you to the lovely MSE'r that was texting until really late. It did help

Smalls arent back today dont want anyone to think they wont/arent being looked after well enough i am aware im not what they need right now

Sun_Addict

Phew so glad you're safe. You can come through this stronger than ever but don't be too proud to accept help xx

HairyHandofDartmoor

It's nice to hear from you HI . Keep posting.

Toni'sfriend

I'm sure the wee ones will be fine with your Mum and you're right you really need to concentrate on yourself for the moment. I am sure you will get through this dark period. As everyone has said keep on posting, say as little or as much as you like and we'll all be here to support you.
I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling but my son went through the same thing some years ago and came out the other side. You will too.
Take care, Hidden. We're all thinking about you. xxxx