When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

atolaas

Hi Hidden,

I've been checking in with your diary periodically. I was wondering if you'd applied for a Warm Home Discount on your Gas & Electric bills? You can receive up to £140 per year. Have a look at the link below:

https://www.gov.uk/the-warm-home-discount-scheme/low-income

I don't know if you'd meet the criteria or whether your supplier supports this scheme, but it's got to be worth looking into!!

Hope this helps and good luck on your journey x

UncannyScot

Have a lovely day missus
(((((HUGS)))))
:A

Toni'sfriend

Morning Hidden
Lots of good advice there from people who know about these things. I would definitely take it and apply for anything you may be entitled to.
And I'm going to nag you too. You must take care of yourself and eat properly.
I hope Ex OH is not causing you stress by just turning up when he feels like it!
Have a good day.

Hiddenidenity

Wow so many replies thank you.

DLA I will look into 'taking' more from this to cover some more of the things I am covering.

The amount in the spare account isn't enough to effect benefits, like I say some has been used. The first payment some was used on sleep system and things to accommodate a sleep system, a new monitor and bits and pieces. Then after that I've taken from it for her car seat, her boots and some smaller bits needed for school etc. Even so I don't receive any benefits that you can't have savings with. The only benefits are tax credits (who only take interest on savings) and her DLA.

On the back of that though I will be looking to add some into the 'normal' account for things she needs more often and not feel guilty for using it.

I am on Giffgaff, I never thought to go up to the £7.50 one tbh. I have run out of calls though a few times recently so I might try that this month.

I will check with the other benefits, although I do feel we receive quite a lot of 'tax payers' money so it does make me a bit uncomfortable
Will check it out though thank you.

I think I've covered all the replies Will check

ETA I missed some

I haven't applied for a warm home discount, looking at that we should get it. I will sort that today. Thank you

Taking care of me is always the bottom of the list I'm still waking up on a morning so can't be doing too bad I do go through phases of being more careful though. I will plod along no need to be concerned Thank you

OH is the only thing causing stress and worry TF :rotfl: No change there though.


Thank you again for all the replies x

Cherryfudge

Hiddenidenity wrote: »

I am on Giffgaff, I never thought to go up to the £7.50 one tbh. I have run out of calls though a few times recently so I might try that this month.

I used to be on Giffgaff - just check before you go up a tariff that you would be allowed to go back down to the £5 one if you wanted to. I have a vague memory that once you go up, you're stuck with it. However I may be mixing it up with someone else and of course the £7.50 one might be better for you.

Toni'sfriend

You shouldn't feel uncomfortable about receiving benefits to enable you and the children to lead a normal life. That's the purpose of the benefit system and I for one don't begrudge you one penny of the tax I've paid over the years. Some people are lucky enough never to have to claim and some need a little help.
As for Ex OH. I don't know what to suggest. Can you make an arrangement with him that he sees the children at specified times. And I don't see why he should be eating your food. He doesn't contribute to the household. Sounds like he's quite difficult to deal with, though.
Anyway, you hang on in there and make sure you eat properly today. xxx

in_need_of_direction

my tuppence worth, for what it's worth. DLA is to basically level the playing field in terms of standard versus additional costs. You would have had those additional costs between the date of application and date of award. Maybe you should think of transferring a suitable amount from the DLA pot to compensate for these and possibly give the entire family, you included, a treat.
I'm also one advocating that you look after yourself. you don't want to create an impression for your children that parents don't matter.

EssexHebridean

Hiddenidenity wrote: »

I've fallen back into the habit of no real dinner or breakfast or lunch :rotfl: Oh good - you've identified this as an issue so start putting it right from right now please lady! if nothing else think about the message you're sending to the children - not a healthy one currently, is it? Smalls well fed though

Visit from EXoh means smalls only just got in the bath :mad: Shouldn't even be here! You really have to tackle this and get something formalised! He mopped up leftover curry too so none for the freezer DS wasn't impressed :rotfl: Next time when he asks about food tell him there's nothing spare - which there wasn't, never mind the freezer, that curry should have been YOUR dinner!

<SNIP>

Need to finish the t-shirts for Children in need and bake cakes for the cake sale (always me that gets roped into this!) Next time (I appreciate it's too late for this time) can you say that you seem to have done it rather a lot and you feel it's a bit unfair that nobody else is getting a look in so this time round you're going to pass up on it...? That way you're gently refusing but not saying you don't "want" to do it - just that it ought to be more shared out than it is?

Hiddenidenity wrote: »

It is stressful. Worse than a toddler.
I suspect taking advantage just because

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

my tuppence worth, for what it's worth. DLA is to basically level the playing field in terms of standard versus additional costs. You would have had those additional costs between the date of application and date of award. Maybe you should think of transferring a suitable amount from the DLA pot to compensate for these and possibly give the entire family, you included, a treat.
I'm also one advocating that you look after yourself. you don't want to create an impression for your children that parents don't matter.

Brilliant words from INOD there - and I agree totally. The DLA money should be picking up the slack from "normal" spending for a child of that age. one thing I will say though - things like the new pyjamas - are you buying these when they're needed or because you don;t like the way the existing ones look? If the latter then maybe try to address that as that's definitely a cost that can be saved, albeit a relatively small one.

Regarding EXOH - I have to say I think you need to put your foot down on that - can you set down in writing to him when is acceptable for him to come round and see the children and when isn't? And make clear to him that if he arrives at a time that's not agreed already then you'll simply be explaining to him that it's not a good time and asking him to come back at a time that was settled on? it's unsettling for the children particularly on a school night, and disruptive to you too to have them wound up at just the time you're trying to get them settled. If you've not already got a chain fitted to your front door then get one (they're not expensive) and use that when you open the door to avoid him just walking straight in.

Something that is worth bearing in mind - deficiencies in certain vitamins and minerals can most definitely be a contributory factor in some MH issues - for example anxiety. If you're not putting the right things into your body to sustain the activity levels you're putting it through, then something has to give - you wouldn't dream of letting the smalls skips meals or eat rubbish, so why on earth would you do differently for yourself? Seriously Missus - start leading from the front on this one - you've got three trainee adults there who need a bright shining example of eating well and healthily and maintaining a balanced diet.

Oh and right there with Toni's Friend on the benefits thing - you pay in, you take out, that's the way it works. Imagine if your best mate was in the position you're in - would you be telling her she shouldn't apply for stuff she's entitled to? No - thought not!

Hiddenidenity

I am going to get back to eating with the smalls I think. There's no reason why I can't and I can't even try to make an excuse

Cakes for school :cool: I feel awful if I say no but there really is only me and a parent of an older child that ever brings them in. However I'm not doing the Xmas cakes for the fayre this year I will be working etc and it actually costs a fair bit to make and decorate 96+ cakes :cool: So have already made known I cannot do these.

As for OH I think I just need to except it is what it is and stop moaning about it Ultimately I could stick my feet on the ground and make it change. He doesn't listen to instructions, he shouldn't be here planned or unplanned. However I'm aware the kids do think he's amazing and I don't want to turn their relationship sour. Much to mums disappointment and hence me feeling so stuck in the middle all the time. Now I notice myself lying to her to 'cover up' when he's visited or making up excuses why he came etc. Think I'm going to arrange to speak to him without smalls and make plans on visiting times and when is suitable to be feeding them sugar filled snacks and when isn't!

I didn't consider the vitamins really I am aware though my issues with food and diet go hand in hand with my other issues. Maybe I just need a whole new me :rotfl:

cocalls

I used to be on Giffgaff - just check before you go up a tariff that you would be allowed to go back down to the £5 one if you wanted to. I have a vague memory that once you go up, you're stuck with it. However I may be mixing it up with someone else and of course the £7.50 one might be better for you.

It think its something else maybe as ive changed a few times and theres been no probs x