When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Hiddenidenity

Thank you EE x

Not all tonight SA, my cleaning and things are done for today I do it everyday though :rotfl: That's mainly tomorrows list so I don't forget anything

I have changed some of the appointments around though, now they fit in better and put the scripts through. Meal plan and appointments are all up on the planner all the way up to the end of November now. I don't think there's a single day where we don't have something on :cool: Between appointments/school/in-laws and kids plans every day has several things on. Who want's to sit down anyway :cool: :rotfl:

TV coming tomorrow so DS will be happy he no longer has to use the small pink TV :rotfl:

I have some Xmas bits I want to order over the weekend I need to keep a check on what I'm spending because I don't want to go overboard just because I feel the need to make up. Although he is coming here Xmas day I don't know if I trust him to actually get them what he's said he is. I think I might change what he is buying so if he doesn't pull through they won't be let down :cool: Or maybe I'll tell him to give me the money and I will sort them and keep them aside for him to give to them :rotfl:

Hiddenidenity

UncannyScot wrote: »

Unfortunately, that is why he will continue to be the way that he is...
You really need to put him out of your misery luv
You know that you are truly better off without him and trust me, the kids will very soon learn that too
I'm sorry to have to be so very blunt about this
(((((HUGS)))))
:A

I know I know :cool::(

No need to be sorry :A

kiss_me_now9

Hiddenidenity wrote: »

:eek: I think we have been dating the same person :rotfl: :rotfl:

Thank you for stopping in, I know everything you said is right. I don't think I'll ever 'give up' on hoping he does change though

Oh dear!

I know, it's so difficult to be in that situation, even harder when you've got kids (we didn't). The trouble with hoping he'll change is you put your own life on hold; you not feel it sometimes but you're still a wonderful human being who deserves to be with someone who treats you like the Goddess you are!

117pauline

Oh Hidden

I think you are being too conciliatory towards him. This will only hurt you even more in the long run. But you know that, don't you?

This last month has been extremely hard for you, mainly emotionally but also physically and financially. You are bone tired and that is what is making you think it would be easier to return to your old way of existing.

I say exisitng because you weren't living or thriving in your old way of life. You deserve to succeed. You and your children did not deserve what has happened.

However the most important thing is for you to be as fit and healthy as you can be. I'm not going to beat about the Bush here, you have to look after yourself properly FACT. You can only go on so long without eating properly and it doesn't send a good message to the children.

If you have events and appointments for the next few weeks, it needs a Hidden fit and ready to pull it off. That possibly will involve less cleaning etc but you have to get the important things accomplished.

We don't have any doubt you can do it but we don't want you to be completely exhausted and unable to enjoy all those activities you have planned.

You have numerous supporters here on your side, willing you to succeed on this journey. You have taken many difficult decisions already, keep on the path

Take care honey, you are in our thoughts
Pauline

nmlc

Morning everyone

EE - It seems I didn't explain very well what I meant in my post, and at no point was I trying to dissuade to claim for benefits, hence at the start and end of my post saying to apply.

Also I wasn't meaning that because DLA is in payment the income was too much, I was saying that child tax credits and working tax credits are viewed as income (as if they were wages) so are included in the calculations.


Also whatever other benefits are in payment ie, jsa, esa, dla, child bens, child tax credits etc, when applying for housing benefits and council tax support you must disclose all benefits, as in the declaration you sign you are confirming that what you're advising is your personal and financial situation is, is the truth. Although some of these benefits are then disregarded when the calculations are done.

I was just trying to give a viewpoint from another angle as I know what I've stated about disclosing of all income ie wages, tax credit and working tax credit, other benefits to be correct and the effect they have on housing benefits/council tax support.

Keep safe and well x

nmlc x

Toni'sfriend

I don't think you can trust him to do what he says he will and you don't want the children to be disappointed so I would either tell him to give you the money to buy them or give the presents to you by a certain date (something like 13th December). Then if he doesn't do it you'll know where you are. Actually, if he doesn't comply with that I'd tell him not to bother coming on Christmas Day. A bit vindictive perhaps but the man needs to get some sort of responsibility (too late for that I suspect). Stand up to him, Hidden. You can to so much better. xxx

EssexHebridean

Just make sure that he DOES give you the money before you part with a penny Hidden. He does after all have form for not being as forthcoming as he might with his money doesn't he!

With the amount you have going on over the next few weeks I'm going to suggest that you gradually drop back on some of the cleaning items a bit - I know this is a big thing for you, but you've talked before about realising that some of the stuff you do is above and beyond what most people would do, so maybe now when it's a busy time is a good point to start addressing that stuff?

Remember that again, the stuff you do with the cleaning etc is potentially setting an impossible level for the kids to aspire to as they get older., If they see certain things as being "normal" then that may leave them in a less than ideal place going forwards when they have homes, families and full time jobs of their own. can you pick out a job to start with that you have a feeling you might be overdoing it a wee bit on, and address that as one to stop doing daily? Then gradually introduce more things. You've already made some progress on this with the bedding haven't you - so you know you can do it!

Maybe it's helpful if each of us "regulars" on here pick one item of cleaning type stuff and say how often we do it - no judgement etc, just information? I'll start - cleaning windows - insides get a wipe if there's condensation on them, otherwise monthly at best. Outsides - when we think about it/notice they're looking a bit less see-through than they ought to! :rotfl:

Cherryfudge

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Maybe it's helpful if each of us "regulars" on here pick one item of cleaning type stuff and say how often we do it - no judgement etc, just information? I'll start - cleaning windows - insides get a wipe if there's condensation on them, otherwise monthly at best. Outsides - when we think about it/notice they're looking a bit less see-through than they ought to! :rotfl:

Cleaning windows? Depends how busy I am and whether I notice marks. I think I last did them two or three weeks ago. The outsides are done monthly by a window cleaner.

My choice of jobs: clean the loo? Daily.

Toni'sfriend

Good idea, EH. OK. Hovering - Living room and hall - every couple of days (if they look like they need it). Bedrooms - once a week (sometimes less). Mopping kitchen and bathroom floors - every couple of days.

Eureka1975

Well done! you are doing well