When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Hiddenidenity

Thank you EE. I think he's aware I don't have money to waste as he said he'd pay for things/to get here etc. It's a more of getting his feet under the table and getting 'use' to it etc. Dunno thinking out loud and maybe I shouldn't have Thank you for replying x

Morning all

Plans today are another ride out I think. Possibly the zoo if the weatherman is right Although might do the tower instead as I used Mr T vouchers for the entry there so it could be a cheap day if I didn't do the zoo. Will take pack lunches but will no doubt spend on coffee

Hope everyone has a wonderful day x

helsbell

It sounds like you're worried he might be trying to become a part of your life again, maybe move back in? If this is what worries you, trust your instincts. The other thing to do would be to read back on this diary. You have made huge progress in the last few months. While he was living with you you kept having to readjust your plans as he would spend nearly every day, and not on the things the money was allocated to. I know you already have a lot on your plate, I'm not sure you need the added stress of going back to that.

Anyway, I hope you all have a great time today

Suffolk_lass

Hi Hidden,
It is your decision whether you stay on and whether exOH joins you. It can all seem very cosy when you are away from home and a bit like a holiday romance because he is there and attentive and has chosen you and the children - and from your emotional position you are feeling a bit alone in the evenings.

You have not said much about your emotions when you broke up (and nor should you) but please consider carefully and reflect on how that went and whether you want to go through it all again. He was not there a lot at the end and was spending and not contributing. That much we did hear.

For all that we heard, it is up to you but please reflect on the impact on you and the children before you decide. We will encourage and support you here, whatever you do.

bagpuss38

Glorious day today hidden.
We're off to the pleasure beach.
I'd say today is a great day for the tower you should be able to see lots.
Well done on the low spends, we're just about sticking to our budget but I didn't count on the weather, so a few spends there.

Toni'sfriend

I'd agree with the others, Hidden. If this is his way of trying to move back in with you (and it does sound to me that that is exactly what it is) think very carefully about what you want. Follow your instincts and do what you think is best for you.
Have a lovely day with the wee ones. They seem to be really enjoying themselves.

Hiddenidenity

Thank you x

Like I say during the day even at home I'm fine, It's when the smalls are in bed I struggle.

I've told him I plan to come home tomorrow Even if I decide to stay on myself I know he hasn't changed I'm still paying his fine, still picking up his slack on other stuff and still lying to the smalls about why he hasn't come to see them/do as promised etc. It is lonely though I think he plays on this more than I say on here and obviously stuff does happen/get said that I don't post on here. I'm worried I'm turning it into a relationship problem diary rather than what it's supposed to be here for so try to limit what I post/say x

We are in Blackpool, smalls just eating sandwiches because they wanted them before go in the tower.

Have left chicken casserole in the slow cooker so at least we have dinner cooked for when we get back.

Toni'sfriend

I'm glad you've made a decision, Hidden, and I, for one, think you're doing the right thing. I know you're feeling a bit lonely at the moment but I'm sure this won't last for ever.
Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

EssexHebridean

I too think that's the right decision Hidden - you're a stronger person now by FAR than you were when you were with him if I'm honest - you're more confident, braver, more decisive and I would be inclined to say healthier both mentally and physically.

If he'd made the approach on the basis of taking the fine off your hands, arranging something structured to see the children, and making efforts to put right all the other damage, then that would be different, but as he hasn't, I'd be inclined to say that any future change into the sort of man you actually deserve is probably unlikely.

How was the tower?!

Hiddenidenity

Tower is great fun

Smalls in Jungle jims while I have a coffee. Can't decide if we should stay for the 7pm circus or just miss it this time and come back through the illuminations and back to site.


As for ExOh I think going back is the easy option and we know by now I don't take the easy way Thank you for all your replies and listening to me moan

mummytogirls

Sounds like your having a lovely time away HI. Glad the weather seems a bit better this end of the week!! xx