Why do older parents forget what it's like to have young children???

Poor_Single_lady

OP have you thought about what YOU want. Do you want to go to the meal or can you go without husband or with older child and leave youngest with husband.

If you want to go then go but if you would rather not then don't.
I imagine when I have kids I will just decline this kind of thing for the kids and go on my own. But well aware all my friends say that when you have kids it's never what you expect and you never do what you think you will do.

Hope you go and enjoy it but if you don't want to then give it a miss and do something you will enjoy. xxx

Kim_kim

iammumtoone wrote: »

OP that meal sound like a nightmare, I would not go.

Yes it is very different from years ago, for a start people would not be expected to do a 300 mile trip in one day just for a meal. (it wouldn't be possible with the cost and transport issues then).

Children did not generally go to a restaurants at three years old. A restaurant meal was a rare treat not the norm it has become these days. Most likely years ago the meal would have been organised at someones house.

My daughter is nearly 30, I often took her to restaurants, some very nice ones in the west end too. The Russell Hotel & The Cumberland Hotel were two favourites, also a very nice Italian on Clapham Common & Indian restaurants. And of course local pub restaurants & Carveries.
Children them got half portions rather than "& chips" meals.

iammumtoone

Kim_kim wrote: »

THIS!!!

My daughter is a grown woman of nearly 30.
When she was a child I often took her out to eat. There were no children's menus, she ate half portions of adult meals - it's what kids did then & they ate better for it, than the "& chips" offerings they have now.
.

I am mid 40s I never went out for a meal with my parents when I was young it wasn't the done thing, the first time I went out for a restaurant meal I was at high school, I remember the feeling I felt so grown up

When my parents went to the pub, they left me locked in the car with loads of toys and books, brought me out a glass of pop and came out every half hour or so to check I was ok :eek: obviously I wasn't three but as soon as I was old enough for this, it was what happened. I am not that old, it wasn't that long ago, nobody would dream of doing it now but I don't think my parents were that unusual at the time.

iammumtoone

Kim_kim wrote: »

My daughter is nearly 30, I often took her to restaurants, some very nice ones in the west end too. The Russell Hotel & The Cumberland Hotel were two favourites, also a very nice Italian on Clapham Common & Indian restaurants. And of course local pub restaurants & Carveries.
Children them got half portions rather than "& chips" meals.

Did you do a 300mile round trip to take her to the restaurants? I still think the journey time is relevant in the OPs situation.

Robisere

I am a granddad of 72, but I clearly recall what bringing up children entails, and the one standout lesson I learned, was that children need routine and stability. So I think I know where misterzim is coming from with this.

Many years ago, faced with a similar situation ( a family wedding many miles away) and two toddlers who were very different, I weighed it all up with my wife and we decided to make our apologies and give it a miss. We knew that one child would have enjoyed it: the extrovert. But the introvert would hate it, being deprived of sleep in his own bed with his own toys. The strange thing was that the introvert would go to bed and fall asleep at the same time every night, but if he was asleep, the extrovert would read quietly for a while then fall asleep too: just had to have her sibling sleeping in the same room, before she could settle.

They are all different: each child an individual mix of genes from way back. If you want to have your child maintain that routine, make apologies and stay home. I would.

arbrighton

prosaver wrote: »

i wouldn't travel 300 miles round trip for a meal, the kids not going to even remember it, well he could do, like the first time he had car sickness.
seems strange for a 3 year old birthday treat,

Try reading OP again. It's an older family member's birthday, not the child

motorguy

iammumtoone wrote: »

I am mid 40s I never went out for a meal with my parents when I was young it wasn't the done thing, the first time I went out for a restaurant meal I was at high school, I remember the feeling I felt so grown up

When my parents went to the pub, they left me locked in the car with loads of toys and books, brought me out a glass of pop and came out every half hour or so to check I was ok :eek: obviously I wasn't three but as soon as I was old enough for this, it was what happened. I am not that old, it wasn't that long ago, nobody would dream of doing it now but I don't think my parents were that unusual at the time.

:eek:

I might have some bad news for you...

iammumtoone

motorguy wrote: »

:eek:

I might have some bad news for you...

:rotfl:never did me any harm. I also have to say in my parents defense this did not happen a lot maybe once a year when we were on holiday.

AylesburyDuck

chesky wrote: »

You only have to read these threads to see how differently 3 year olds can cope with this kind of situation. So it's no wonder that grandparents living 150 miles away aren't sure of how they will respond as they probably don't see them on a day- to- day basis. If they have lots of other people to accommodate, then they probably are just crossing their fingers and hoping for the best. As its a family occasion and you may be one half of a couple, might it not be possible to leave your child with the other grandparents for the night? They would probably be delighted to have him or her, and you'd be more relaxed, if you yourself can cope with eating an hour late.

Now you see i read that differently, they said traveling 150miles *this weekend*.
Which to me implied an overnight stay (the weekend bit) and a journey of 75 miles each way.
Which to my mind isnt unreasonable.
We used to do 400 miles a weekend with 4 kids on a regular basis when we lived in the south and all Grandparents lived in the North. Hell on the odd occassion that called for it we did it in one day for a Birthday lunchtime.

elsien

iammumtoone wrote: »

Did you do a 300mile round trip to take her to the restaurants? I still think the journey time is relevant in the OPs situation.

I presumed the OP would be stopping overnight - looking back they didn't say that but they mention travelling 150 miles this weekend for a birthday, and with the meal being at 7 I wasn't expecting them to be driving back at the same night.
Quite possibly me putting two and two together to come up with five, because that's what I'd do in that situation.