Short relationship ended

arbrighton

catoutthebag wrote: »

A supportive, sane comment, rather than the bitter, angry poster's, who sounded so happy with their negative lives.

Thank you for those words.

Actually most of us are happy with our lives, just incredibly frustrated by your inability to take advice and act on it after whining on and on and on here

arbrighton

LilElvis wrote: »

I would add to this that you should look at how rude, defensive and aggressive you can be when others disagree with you. Your replies on threads typically show this to be your default response - and its not nice. If this exhibits in RL too it would be a serious turn-off to many prospective partners.

Are you saying that to me or to OP?
Since you're quoting me?

Pollycat

catoutthebag wrote: »

Agree i over think.
Disagree i was critical towards her. She remarked how loving, caring and kind i was with her, that's how I am when with someone.
Sure, i can be a bit insecure or paranoid, doesn't mean everyone is perfect. I acknowledge my weakness. But never did i not trust her
Never did i stop her seeing friends, family, and i never would

Then I suggest you re-read your first post.

catoutthebag wrote: »

Feel pretty rotten. After 2.5 years single and many first dates, i met someone who i clicked with and we saw each other 3 months. Felt much longer though - went abroad for a few days, spent several nights each week together every week, got to know each others personality intimately.

Alas, issues/alarm bells started to crop her side...I won't give specific details, but some lack of maturity, selfishness, difficulty in compromise...And issues relating to their past affecting their self esteem, inner security etc started to crop up.

I was honest and open, maybe too honest at times, i wear heart on sleeve. Had a couple near break ups, last being a week ago.

Then they were the ones that dropped the bombshell ('need to work on self, thanks for highlighting issues, i need to not be in a relationship' etc), via text. I suspected something was wrong a few days ago.

I tried to call, and message tonight, no answer.

Feel pretty numb, sure it will hit me. I accepted their flaws, but not sure they accept their own or mine. I wanted to work through thing's. But their message suggests mind is made up.

Friends suggest they sounded immature, a bit selfish etc, so maybe i had a lucky escape. But you can't control who you fall for

Waiting for it to hit me...

Not sure whether i should have a break from dating or meet someone decent after all

"Thanks for highlighting issues"?
And you don't think that was criticising her?

LilElvis wrote: »

I would add to this that you should look at how rude, defensive and aggressive you can be when others disagree with you. Your replies on threads typically show this to be your default response - and its not nice. If this exhibits in RL too it would be a serious turn-off to many prospective partners.

I agree with the above poster.

You don't like to be told that the way you see things may not be the right way.
You may be be right with your snippy response to LilElvis:

catoutthebag wrote: »

Not like that with her or friends. Just trolls

but I bet that's possibly how you come do across to girlfriends and friends.

Pollycat

arbrighton wrote: »

Are you saying that to me or to OP?
Since you're quoting me?

I think LilElvis was agreeing with what you posted and added some additional observations directed towards the OP.

LilElvis

arbrighton wrote: »

Are you saying that to me or to OP?
Since you're quoting me?

To the OP!

arbrighton

Ah, I see, sorry, brainmelt and as you were quoting me, it looked like it was aimed at me lil'Elvis! I didn't think i'd been aggressive, other than mild headdesk frustration so was confused

LilElvis

arbrighton wrote: »

Ah, I see, sorry, brainmelt and as you were quoting me, it looked like it was aimed at me lil'Elvis! I didn't think i'd been aggressive, other than mild headdesk frustration so was confused

I think there are a few children / trolls / idiots and robots here who share your frustration. But, hell, what would a bunch of people in longterm relationships know - we're clearly all clueless.

*max*

Funny how it seems the"flaws" you highlighted to her (nice, btw!) are all pretty serious ("some lack of maturity, selfishness, difficulty in compromise...And issues relating to their past affecting their self esteem, inner security etc "), while the only thing you apparently had against you was your food allergies? Really? :cool:

Nobody's perfect, but you seem to think you're pretty close, right?

arbrighton

LilElvis wrote: »

I think there are a few children / trolls / idiots and robots here who share your frustration. But, hell, what would a bunch of people in longterm relationships know - we're clearly all clueless.

And the frustration is nothing to do with it all being said before / thinking 'saw that one coming' of course

And the reaction to us disagreeing with him

tensandunits_2

Three months is not long enough to get to know somebody well. I gather from your post that you were sleeping together, yet she was still on this dating site, so presumably "keeping her options open", should things not work out with you.

You need to take a step back, and decide what it is you want from a relationship. Dating sites are more for people who want casual sex or a one-night stand, indeed some of them are even known (unofficially!) as bit on the side dot com, which shows you what sort of people go onto these sites.

I recommend you get to know somebody in real life.