Short relationship ended

hazyjo

Sorry to hear that. Try not to mull over things. Some just don't work out and there is no point in over-thinking it or trying to make sense of it.

I wasn't particularly lucky in love, married twice, but have been with my BF now for 5 years or so.

Onwards and upwards. Don't give up!

elsien

You forgave her past? There's nothing for to you forgive as it didn't relate to you.
If someone I'd only known for 3 months told me they'd forgiven me for things that happened before I met them, I'd have been off as well. Let alone helpfully highlighting all my issues.
Sounds to me it got too intense too quickly and now she's reversing at speed. Sorry, but from how you've posted, can't say I blame her.

Pollycat

catoutthebag wrote: »

Feel pretty rotten. After 2.5 years single and many first dates, i met someone who i clicked with and we saw each other 3 months. Felt much longer though - went abroad for a few days, spent several nights each week together every week, got to know each others personality intimately.

Alas, issues/alarm bells started to crop her side...I won't give specific details, but some lack of maturity, selfishness, difficulty in compromise...And issues relating to their past affecting their self esteem, inner security etc started to crop up.

I was honest and open, maybe too honest at times, i wear heart on sleeve. Had a couple near break ups, last being a week ago.

Then they were the ones that dropped the bombshell ('need to work on self, thanks for highlighting issues, i need to not be in a relationship' etc), via text. I suspected something was wrong a few days ago.

I tried to call, and message tonight, no answer.

Feel pretty numb, sure it will hit me. I accepted their flaws, but not sure they accept their own or mine. I wanted to work through thing's. But their message suggests mind is made up.

Friends suggest they sounded immature, a bit selfish etc, so maybe i had a lucky escape. But you can't control who you fall for

Waiting for it to hit me...

Not sure whether i should have a break from dating or meet someone decent after all

Maybe she thought you were too critical of her and didn't really 'accept her flaws'.

arbrighton

hazyjo wrote: »

Sorry to hear that. Try not to mull over things. Some just don't work out and there is no point in over-thinking it or trying to make sense of it

Onwards and upwards

Perhaps by, as people have suggested on your many previous threads, working on your self esteem, trust issues and crowding people early days as you have described

Gosh, imagine if you'd already moved for each other

Most people, after seeing someone for three months just say 'oh well, not right, move on' but not feel the need to start yet another thread. Most wouldn't refer to it as a relationship even by this point.

I don't think it's her that's immature

hollydays

I'm quite shocked you say you forgave her past too.
It as though you found her lacking, I really don't understand what you meant by that.

catoutthebag

arbrighton wrote: »

Perhaps by, as people have suggested on your many previous threads, working on your self esteem, trust issues and crowding people early days as you have described

Gosh, imagine if you'd already moved for each other

Most people, after seeing someone for three months just say 'oh well, not right, move on' but not feel the need to start yet another thread. Most wouldn't refer to it as a relationship even by this point.

I don't think it's her that's immature

We said we were in an exclusive relationship.

Sorry, but you can't place an arbitrary timeline with regards to how people should react in terms of relationship length

You sound a bit wooden and robotic in that sense.

No issues came up my side, she said i was kind, loving, supportive etc. Never stopped her seeing anyone.

Lioness_Twinkletoes

catoutthebag wrote: »

Not sure whether i should have a break from dating or meet someone decent after all

Having read your previous posts, I'd suggest that you are going to struggle to find someone decent.

catoutthebag

hollydays wrote: »

I'm quite shocked you say you forgave her past too.
It as though you found her lacking, I really don't understand what you meant by that.

Firstly, forgave was the wrong word. I didn't say 'i forgive you for your past'.
She told me, i said we all make mistakes, and it was never mentioned by me or her again.
What i meant was, i didn't let it affect me and her and 'let go' of that information, rather than use it against her or to end it.
Clearer?

catoutthebag

elsien wrote: »

You forgave her past? There's nothing for to you forgive as it didn't relate to you.
If someone I'd only known for 3 months told me they'd forgiven me for things that happened before I met them, I'd have been off as well. Let alone helpfully highlighting all my issues.
Sounds to me it got too intense too quickly and now she's reversing at speed. Sorry, but from how you've posted, can't say I blame her.

Firstly, forgave was the wrong word. I didn't say 'i forgive you for your past'.
She told me, i said we all make mistakes, and it was never mentioned by me or her again.
What i meant was, i didn't let it affect me and her and 'let go' of that information, rather than use it against her or to end it.
Clearer?

catoutthebag

Pollycat wrote: »

Maybe she thought you were too critical of her and didn't really 'accept her flaws'.

Perhaps. I don't know.