Advice needed: buying new house with partner

Piscean1991

If she is taking on the traditional role of mother/caregiver, you should be taking on the traditional role of provider - for both her and your daughter.

I agree with others who have said that your partner contributes in other ways. Childcare is expensive. For my friend, it actually worked out that they were better off if she gave up her job to care for the baby. She only earned £10,000 a year but that should tell you enough about the contribution your girlfriend is making.

If the lack of financial contribution from your partner is an issue, you need to sit down and talk about that to see what can be worked out. Personally, I hope she's squirrelling her earnings away for the inevitable split.

I understand that you want to protect your financial interests but you speak of your partner in such a derogatory way that it's actually quite disturbing to read. This is the woman who has given you your daughter. Your daughter is going to model her future relationships on the relationship you have and she is going to think it is normal for a man not to want to share with his partner and to generally treat her as a burden. Is that the kind of relationship you want your daughter to have? Is this how you would want her to be treated when she's an adult in a relationship? Because if not, this is the kind of treatment she's seeing and that's what she'll end up accepting as an adult. That, or she'll just really resent you in the future.

hazyjo

You're basically saying that the jobs your wife does in the home, and with looking after your daughter are worthless.

Do you not see them as contributing financially just because she's not paid for what she does? Can you not see that if she did not do them, you would be paying someone else to do them or taking on half those roles yourself so that she could earn money?

All your comments seem to be attempting to wind people up more. Has there been a recent bridge collapse or something - all these recent trolls must have come from somewhere... Unless you're in a different country with a completely different culture, I find it VERY hard to believe that you are in any way genuine.

I'm outa here. Only commenting in case anyone stumbles on it in the future and finds it hard to see that their missus 'works' - even if nobody pays them for the privilege.

Lioness_Twinkletoes

yougotthatmilkmoney wrote: »

Its not her home, i am the one paying for it. I am protecting my daughters long term interests by ensuring she cannot take half of my money and !!!! it up the wall with somone else ( and someone elses kids). Its called protecting your own. I would be better off splitting up with her now then buying a house in six months time, at least that way the money is safe. mine and my parents hard earned money. The law is ridiculous.

What a prince! Christ, if my partner spoke about me like that I'd be long gone.

You clearly have no respect for her, so do the decent thing and leave her. Let her find a man that loves and respects her.

london.cidade

This is the most interesting thread that Ive ever seen in this forum..

Torfoxwell

like others have said you need to look , (i think for your own peace of mind as it clearly bothers you), how much it would cost to send your child into childcare , for example we send our daughter into childcare 1.5 days a week that costs us 300.00 per month , i imagine that if you sent the child into childcare full time it would almost triple that if not more depending on where you live...like others have said CSA can be a killer if you do break up... iv got to say from a mothers point of view it is one of the hardest jobs iv ever had to do , constantly cleaning , looking after a little on is exhausting- i go to work for a bit of a rest.
Overall id say a solicitor can put something in place for you - obviously your partner will have to sign something to say that in the event of your separation your money will be returned to yourself or your parents...so that could open up a can of worms.

Tred very carefully with this you may find that in fact when she finds out what you think of her then you might find yourself in a house of your own but very much alone...

MisterP123

yougotthatmilkmoney wrote: »

Wow. Lots of negative responses. I honestly do not think i am in the wrong here to be protecting myself and my daughters future interests. Hopefully a solicitor will point me in the right direction, anything can be sorted with a contract i would imagine. Apart from one or two people, All i am getting here is emotional responses rather than factual ones.

My opinion is that it is better to prepare for the worst case scenario now, than get bitten later on down the road. If you all will not prepare yourselves in the eventuallity of problems in the future, good luck to you.

She'll get your daughter anyway buddy. So enjoy the asset, I don't think she'll be too concerned.

mollycat

yougotthatmilkmoney wrote: »

Wow. Lots of negative responses. I honestly do not think i am in the wrong here to be protecting myself and my daughters future interests. Hopefully a solicitor will point me in the right direction, anything can be sorted with a contract i would imagine. Apart from one or two people, All i am getting here is emotional responses rather than factual ones.
)

Factual response....your partner is one unlucky woman.

Factual response....when you eventually split up due to your selfish mindset she will probably realise what a fool she has been to take up with you in the first place.

Factual response....After you "protect your assets" you will remain unhappy due to your warped view of the world. Your views on family life/responsibility are not mainstream.

Factual response....By what you have posted here most right minded readers will feel some mixture of disgust, sadness, anger, astonishment.....that is the emotions you elicit from others, fact.

Personally, OP's like yours (and your follow ups), make me wonder why some people can be such idiots.

Go and buy your precious house.

michelle09

Do you not believe that looking after her mother (who is still contributing significantly in childcare and putting up with you) is not protecting your daughter's security?

You should also look at protecting your own relationship with your daughter. You can buy a house and protect it, but if your girlfriend leaves with your daughter and decides to block your access to her - the courts will almost certainly side with her. That's a factual response - for the emotional one: if this is the way you treat your girlfriend, your daughter might be better off without your influence anyway!

Clutterfree

Strange that you always write MY daughter not OUR daughter.
Was your partner just "rent a womb"?

WibblyGirly

Is she your girlfriend or your maid/childminder/prostitute?

If I was her friend and knew you were planning this I'd be telling her to start hiding money away because the relationship will not last when you can cannot see that you are a family.