Advice needed: buying new house with partner

yougotthatmilkmoney

There is no attitude, if i cannot protect the money i invest into a house, i wont do it. My question has been answered. Thanks

marliepanda

yougotthatmilkmoney wrote: »

There is no attitude, if i cannot protect the money i invest into a house, i wont do it. My question has been answered. Thanks

You do realise if you split up your wages will be docked to take care of your child?! And youcan't control what she spends it on?

Murray87

Can you not see that she has also made an investment? Her contribution is bringing up your child. I feel so sorry for this woman!

rosyw

yougotthatmilkmoney wrote: »

Its not her home, i am the one paying for it. I am protecting my daughters long term interests by ensuring she cannot take half of my money and !!!! it up the wall with somone else ( and someone elses kids). Its called protecting your own. I would be better off splitting up with her now then buying a house in six months time, at least that way the money is safe. mine and my parents hard earned money. The law is ridiculous.

It will be her home if she is living in it with you and your daughter!!

Does your gf work, does she currently contribute to the household expenses, and do YOU pay your fair share of the costs of feeding, clothing and generally raising YOUR child?? do you REALLY have that little trust in your gf? if so she is far better off without you!

I lived with my late partner for 34 years, we had 2 daughters and 3 grand children, we weren't married. While in theory he was the one that bought our 1st home, he fully accepted that as I was looking after out 1st child, I was in no position to earn the amount he did, he insisted that we owned that house, and every one we later bought, as joint tenants, that was how HE provided for his children, making sure they had a roof over their heads should the worst happen, and he TRUSTED that I wouldn't demand half the value should we split up - I wouldn't have! If you don't have that kind of relationship, then IMHO, don't buy the house!

yougotthatmilkmoney

rosie, i pay for everything. i mean everything. she works 20 hrs a week and makes no contributions financially.

itchyfeet123

She has provided care of your child. Moreover, she has quite likely sacrificed her own career prospects in doing so. Thus she most certainly has contributed to your joint financial position.

That said, you can probably draw up an agreement where your parents' contribution gets returned to them (or, I suspect you'd prefer, to you).

It doesn't sound like you're in a relationship with someone you care about or trust. Why bother?

yougotthatmilkmoney

To ensure that my daughter gets raised in the correct environment and she is cared for.

Murray87

I think you need to work out exactly how many hours she puts in to looking after your child and maintaining your home so you can see exactly what her contribution is 'worth'. I'm shocked that you can't see that? I'm sure she could be out earning a lot more if she wasn't the mother of your child and had likely put her own career on hold.

rosyw

yougotthatmilkmoney wrote: »

rosie, i pay for everything. i mean everything. she works 20 hrs a week and makes no contributions financially.

What does she do with her wages then? does she fritter them all away getting her nails done etc.?

As has been pointed out, she has probably had to sacrifice a full time job in order to look after your daughter, and that is a HUGE contribution!

With an attitude like yours - don't buy the house - YOU don't deserve to have your cake AND eat it!

marliepanda

yougotthatmilkmoney wrote: »

To ensure that my daughter gets raised in the correct environment and she is cared for.

Believe me, that's not with two parents who can't trust each other and whose grandparents think very little of them either.

It's not with a father who thinks her mother makes no contribution despite working 20 hours and being a mother.

I feel sorry for your daughter as you clearly hold her mother in such low regard.