Advice needed: buying new house with partner

OneInTheHat

I'm amazed you have all reacted like this. Why do you think pre nups were invented (not here of course I know).

I wish I had protected myself better. I out earned my exh so I paid for the house, all the mortgage on it, worked full time and had 2 kids with him. We were married though.

On divorce, despite having paid for the house once already, I had to remortgage to give him half of it.

I don't think it is inadvisable to protect your assets. You can't assume you will be married forever. If this is genuine, I suggest you consult a solicitor to find out the best way to protect it if that is what you want. But also do bear in mind, that if you do split up, you will need to look after your child financially and that may mean contributing to the upkeep of her mother as well as the child, even if she has a new partner, as unpalatable as that sounds.

FBaby

How about your girlfriend increases her hours to 30 and you reduce yours the same and then look after your DD half the time. Then you can both contribute towards the mortgage and are both benefiting from the investment. To protect your parents' investment, you buy as tenants in common with a different share.

That would be the fairest for all, but somehow, I think you would try to come with an excuse as to why it is not possible...

FBaby

I don't think it is inadvisable to protect your assets.

Absolutely, once my suggestion, however OP wants his cake and eat it, girlfriend to works limited hours to look after their DD -and therefore pay no or less childcare - whilst taking away from her the opportunity to also invest for the future.

hounsehunterftb

@OP From your blunt comments its clear that you are certain things are most definitely to go south with you and your partner. Perhaps after that you might be able to appreciate just how much her contribution was in the upbringing of your child.

If you want to be FAIR and if its all about finances for you. Just work out how much your partner could be earning per month, how much you are saving on child care per month and all the other factors where in you were able to save for that deposit just because your partner was home taking care of the baby. You at least owe her that amount if you regardless go ahead and buy the house!

itchyfeet123

hounsehunterftb wrote: »

@OP From your blunt comments its clear that you are certain things are most definitely to go south with you and your partner. Perhaps after that you might be able to appreciate just how much her contribution was in the upbringing of your child.

If you want to be FAIR and if its all about finances for you. Just work out how much your partner could be earning per month, how much you are saving on child care per month and all the other factors where in you were able to save for that deposit just because your partner was home taking care of the baby. You at least owe her that amount if you regardless go ahead and buy the house!

More than that. When the next promotion is available, she'll be passed over because working part time while caring for a child - even if she has since gone back to full time - will have marked her as less serious about her job. The OP owes her the difference in lifetime earnings between women in her field with and without children.

Marvel1

Why are you together?

ThePants999

OP, imagine that over the last 6 years, you'd paid your partner commercial rates for all the housework and childcare she's provided you free of charge. Who'd be contributing what to the house then?

Financial contributions and non-financial contributions are both important.

melanzana

You are right OP. Protect your interests from everyone. Wink.

yougotthatmilkmoney

Wow. Lots of negative responses. I honestly do not think i am in the wrong here to be protecting myself and my daughters future interests. Hopefully a solicitor will point me in the right direction, anything can be sorted with a contract i would imagine. Apart from one or two people, All i am getting here is emotional responses rather than factual ones.

My opinion is that it is better to prepare for the worst case scenario now, than get bitten later on down the road. If you all will not prepare yourselves in the eventuallity of problems in the future, good luck to you.

Marvel1

Is this an idea, your partner goes back to work full time?

Also you have not answered, why are you together?