A whole new world, for now

in_need_of_direction

Happily, the sickness was a one day thing. Been working flat out and still nowhere near caught up. Looks like it'll be a busy weekend. Also realised that an expected big payment has not been received. That needs chased up. Was delivering a job yesterday at premises arranged by a client. What a disaster! I was on site at 8.15, someone opened at 8.35. No extensions were available so couldn't make use of projector, was asked if I was finished at 2.15, should have been there until 4. Turns out my client had booked the room from 9-2! Then at home I realised that I've left my laptop charger there. Complete disaster. Will need to get back at some point today. At least I have another at my desk.
Other news, I cashed out £10 sb voucher and am close to cash out with pa. Just need pending amounts to clear. When in dublin on Wednesday,meet a new contact who seems on track to bring in some work in the area that I love. Fingers crossed for that.
DD finishes the assignment that she's been working on for me today. They have requested some extra days so need to persuade her that she should. It's more money for when she's back at uni. Not much else happening but I will be on the naughty step as I haven't been to see mother this week. I've been busy and also struggle with the negativity. Will get there over the weekend.
Today I am grateful for
Access to a reliable car
New prospects
That there is outstanding money to be chased up!

beanielou

Get that money chased up!!

Sounds like you are super busy.
Take care of you too xx

in_need_of_direction

Chased the money, it'll hit next week. Another very large invoice will have been submitted by then. I had a bad night. I'm feeling totally overwhelmed by so many things. Work, home, money. I've just spent half an hour pouring my heart out to dh. He's now sleeping!
I'm feeling very alone and very scared. I don't like how I'm living but am struggling to make the changes needed.

doingitanyway

Sorry you are feeling alone. You have us here for what its worth and I for one think you are amazing and inspirational. Hugs (())

Buffythedebtslayer

From an outside point of view it seems like you work constantly for hours, which I know has to be done. And I know it is difficult not to.

I can't decide (purely personal) if the lifestyle I have is how I want, it just seems too full on.

Can you see a time for the changes sometimes soon?

take care XXXX

HairyHandofDartmoor

You sound very overwhelmed. You are probably exhausted and need a break from work. Be kind to yourself this weekend and allow yourself to rest and do a hobby you enjoy, or find another way to have some ME time.

beanielou

Take care of you my friend xxx

in_need_of_direction

Thanks you lot, really appreciated. So did a big shop yesterday to use my sainsbugs voucher when the nectar event was on. Then things all went a bit pear shaped as I called my mum to see if she wanted anything. That meant a trip to the bakery and then to hers. She is no longer willing or able to care for herself and it's dreadful to see. Plus there was a warning beep from a smoke alarm or gas alarm that she was ignoring. I checked one that was within reach and she had previously removed the battery. One sister called in while I was there en route to a weekend away. I contacted one brother who said he'd call down later to sort it.

Then overseas sister called yesterday afternoon as she'd tried calling mum but the phone isn't being answered. My elder brother spoke very honestly to my mum last week about her lack of self care.now she's behaving like a brat making life difficult for all of us. I refused to go back done after my sister's call as I really can't deal with her manipulating things. She's at home with a cordless phone. We rotate handsets to make sure it has charge and it's now 4 weeks since she has answered when overseas sis calls.

Looked at June finances and they will be so so tight. I am due to pay myself some expenses which will help but I can't see July being any better. I madec a £1.21 TT to the mortgage. I am close to PA payout but am so annoyed. One of my surveys was disallowed on a reading check question. This has never happened before.

I engaged with mr wii this morning. Slight upward movement but not a full pound and I'm relieved.

Other things haven't improved but I need to finish stuff today or I'm walking away from some payments. I'm just not sure how to face them and given that some are dublin based, I don't even have the grace of a bank holiday as theirs is next week.
Today I am grateful for
Bacon and mushroom sarnies
Access to books that I love
Clean bedding

beanielou

The situation with your mum sounds just dire

Keep plodding xx

Seasidegal58

I'm so sorry to hear that your mum is getting worse. It's a big worry that she acts like a petulant child when your brother tries to talk sensibly to her for her own good. It doesn't sound like she's ever going to be any different now so all you can do is keep on as you are with her. She appears to like playing you all off against one another so take no notice of that!

Annoying that you've lost your PA survey. I've not had one since they paid me out some weeks ago!

I hope you sort your jobs today but do try not to stress too much (easier said than done I know).
X