A whole new world, for now

Cherryfudge

Feel free to ignore this if I'm on the wrong track...

It takes a while to rebuild trust. As she's apologised, from her point of view all she can do is wait and see how you respond, and meanwhile of course she has to try to be worthy of that trust.

From your point of view, you are angry - and probably hurt too. It's difficult that you have this meet-up scheduled. If it were just the two of you, it would be different: you could say you are still too churned up and could you leave it a while. When there are others involved... tricky. If you go, you won't be happy and others may sense there's something wrong. If you don't go, people might misinterpret it.

I would say give it a little longer to let the dust settle then go back to her with how you are now feeling and let her know what your decision about the meeting is. Once she knows that the apology hasn't sorted everything out, the ball's in her court whether to go or not. Remember your 'I' messages! 'I feel angry', 'I feel hurt' etc. which are assertive not confrontational. That way you stay in control of the situation.

Sorry if this isn't appropriate. I hope you can sort something out - that feeling of betrayal is horrible but it doesn't mean you are a poor judge of character. It seems that you haven't changed, perhaps it's she who has.

Hope you can get some rest x

Fortune_Smiles

I'm sure you are a good judge of character INOD. People change over time or behave differently in certain circumstances. Or they just *** things up - good people sometimes make bad decisions.

I know how hurtful it is when a friend lets you down like this. It happened to me a couple of years ago and I still smart a little from it now. My heart goes out to you.

I think it is a good sign that your friend has tried to apologise. It means they realise they have done something wrong and want to make amends. In my situation the friends didn't take any responsibility for their actions and turned on me - I think they had to pretend I was a bad person so that they didn't feel guilty about what they'd done to me.

Give yourself a couple of days to think things through. If this is a long standing, valued friendship and the recent incident is unusual, I would talk to the friend, let them explain and then tell them how you feel. That might be enough to repair the damage but, if not, their departure from your life as a good friend will free up space for a new one.

Take care

Fortune x

beanielou

I so feel for you inod.

I was very hurt by someone I considered a good friend after she sent me a message not intended for me that was very hurtful.
I am still working through it.
Both Cherryfudge & Fortune have given you great advice & words of wisdom. I have none.

Take care of you xx

in_need_of_direction

Great advice as always here. Thank you. I need to just put this in a little box to deal with at some point after next week. I have changed some arrangements to minimise time in her company. It has cost me something I was looking forward to but better to miss out than to explode.

A better night's sleep last night probably due to dancing my way through a Paloma Faith concert. She was amazing! Got word yesterday that I have gotten a lovely, juicy piece of work to be delivered over the next 3 months. It means I can disappear off on my holiday in April knowing that bills can be paid when I geT back. Today I have ridiculous amounts of stuff to get through so need to get things underway.
Today I am grateful for
Inspiration exactly when it was needed
Getting arrangements made
DD and my OH

beanielou

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Great advice as always here. Thank you. I need to just put this in a little box to deal with at some point after next week. I have changed some arrangements to minimise time in her company. It has cost me something I was looking forward to but better to miss out than to explode.

A better night's sleep last night probably due to dancing my way through a Paloma Faith concert. She was amazing! Got word yesterday that I have gotten a lovely, juicy piece of work to be delivered over the next 3 months. It means I can disappear off on my holiday in April knowing that bills can be paid when I geT back. Today I have ridiculous amounts of stuff to get through so need to get things underway.
Today I am grateful for
Inspiration exactly when it was needed
Getting arrangements made
DD and my OH

Blimey.we must be twins.
This is me to a T.
Push me too far & I just loose it.

Enjoy your busy weekend.
Great news on the work :j :j

parsniphead

As usual you've had lots of good advice and I can't really add anything.

Its so hard when friends do stuff like this and I think can take longer to get over than with family.

Another exploder here too. Look after yourself and try not to let it affect you too long.

Seasidegal58

I'm really, really sorry to hear about your friend - great advice given though which I can't better.

But you do sound more upbeat reading your last post. The concert must have been great and what wonderful news on the work! Well done! And what a load off your mind money wise!:j

Cherryfudge

Great news on the work front - well done!

in_need_of_direction

so, the big 50 has passed in a blur of activity with our big project coming to fruition. it cost more than expected and i feel we were ripped off a bit but it wasn't the time to raise a dispute. there was a lower financial cost than there would have been in other resources. people have been very generous and we can therefore cover the extra costs.
ds has been home since sunday and other family members have been and gone. he heads back tomorrow armed with easter eggs that were, in part, paid for with sainsbugs vouchers. work has been incredibly busy with a lot of juggling the past few days. this morning, i gained another client which was great. a family firm that appears to be run by really nice people. i did however forget that there are different bank holidays between north and south of Ireland. i feel like such a muppet!
I have totally lost track of our finances so one of the many jobs to be done over the next few days is a budget. I have also given up any pretense at healthy living. that also needs to be addressed. this will start with a dawn raid on a$da to score some cheap veg that will get the soup making underway.
so, to summarise, i'm into what is likely to be the final third of my life. I want to be sufficiently healthy and solvent to enjoy it and not to be a burden. i need to get my finger out.
today i am grateful for
the efforts of family and friends
some truly amazing presents
commitment

jwil

Happy birthday for whenever it was!

Congrats on the new client too

Happy Easter!