So i just opened the door to my new house.

rosyw

happyandcontented wrote: »

The OP has returned to the thread and explained the issues have been resolved. He also addressed the autism issue. One of the main things that upsets or unsettles someone on the spectrum is a change of routine, often they cannot cope with that kind of thing, and having dates for completion constantly moved about will have caused anxiety for this woman. The OP tells us she was affected enough by the condition to have a carer.....and that it was an obvious condition so perhaps it is time to accept she may not have acted in a manipulative manner, the OP certainly has.

No! OP has not been manipulative!

The vendor clearly has,whether she realises it or not. She clearly knew when the completion date was, it was the date SHE wanted, and she managed to read the meters! My brother has aspergers, this is exactly the sort of behaviour I would expect from him, he would completely understand the situation and that he needed to be out on completion day, but if he'd decided to actually move over the weekend,that's what he try to do! All down to not understanding the effect his behaviour would have on other people and how wrong this sort of behaviour is. Thankfully he has always had people around him that have stopped him doing anything like this, it may have upset him, but it saved an awful lot of grief for others! While I totally understand the vendors mindset, it shouldn't be used as an excuse!

vivster

You're misreading. The OP has accepted she didn't set out to manipulate him.

Very surprised by some of the attitudes to mental illness on this thread. It doesn't mean you can't be punctual? Of course it can mean this.

Autism is not a mental illness of course but being unable to see situations from other people's point of view and being unable to improvise/act and think flexibly can be classic symptoms.

I'm glad it sorted itself out.

Cakeguts

rosyw wrote: »

No! OP has not been manipulative!

The vendor clearly has,whether she realises it or not. She clearly knew when the completion date was, it was the date SHE wanted, and she managed to read the meters! My brother has aspergers, this is exactly the sort of behaviour I would expect from him, he would completely understand the situation and that he needed to be out on completion day, but if he'd decided to actually move over the weekend,that's what he try to do! All down to not understanding the effect his behaviour would have on other people and how wrong this sort of behaviour is. Thankfully he has always had people around him that have stopped him doing anything like this, it may have upset him, but it saved an awful lot of grief for others! While I totally understand the vendors mindset, it shouldn't be used as an excuse!

Just out of interest for people reading this thread in the future would your brother have rung the estate agent to ask if it would be possible to leave a few boxes behind in order to find out if there was a problem with this before deciding to move out over the weekend? That phone call was to ask the estate agents if she could get away with doing it like this.

rosyw

Cakeguts wrote: »

Just out of interest for people reading this thread in the future would your brother have rung the estate agent to ask if it would be possible to leave a few boxes behind in order to find out if there was a problem with this before deciding to move out over the weekend? That phone call was to ask the estate agents if she could get away with doing it like this.

Yes ! that's exactly the sort of thing he would have done!

@vivster:
I probably haven't explained this properly, the vendor, in all likelihood, wouldn't have seen this as being manipulative, so it wasn't intentional in the way we would normally see it, but more a failure to realise the impact on others.

vivster

Understood. I wasn't directing my remarks at you.

Mental illness and mental disability can make people act outrageously selfishly.

Cakeguts

rosyw wrote: »

Yes ! that's exactly the sort of thing he would have done!

@vivster:
I probably haven't explained this properly, the vendor, in all likelihood, wouldn't have seen this as being manipulative, so it wasn't intentional in the way we would normally see it, but more a failure to realise the impact on others.

So basically the best thing to learn from this for everyone is to never agree to anything being left in the house after completion and to change the locks on completion day.

I can see someone with a certain personality disorder behaving like this. They don't care about the affect on other people because they are so self centred they only ever do what suits them.

SingleSue

Living with someone with Aspergers can be horrendously banging your head against the wall frustrating. They have their own logic and rarely does that meet normal logic.

I'm a mum of a now adult son with Aspergers and the behaviour of the woman in this thread is pretty much on par with his logic and how he would behave despite many years of therapies etc to try to get him to think/see things differently. Every time you think you have cracked it, he does something which has you banging your head against the wall again.

chucknorris

fed_up_and_stressed wrote: »

I had this done to me when I purchased my first house. I spoke to my solicitor who in effect said that as it was literally for a couple of days (which it did turn out to be) it was pointless taking legal action. Although in my case I still had access to my previous property so wasn't homeless(I was moving from rented). If you were, you could claim for the breach and associated losses. E.g hotel and storage of your items.

In my case it turned out they were using the extra days to plunder the house of all the fixtures AND fittings they said they were leaving on the property info pack. Still gets on my nerves 15 years later.

Something similar happened to me too. I completed on a Friday for a 2 bed flat in Battersea, when I entered the flat all the furniture was still there. I rang the agent and he said that it didn't surprise him, because she (the vendor) was a nutter. Luckily it wasn't a property that I was trying to move into with a furniture removal van sitting outside, as I had intended to completely refurbish it anyway. So (via the estate agent) I gave the vendor the weekend to clear the house. As I entered the flat on Monday morning I just knew that there was going to be a problem. Not only was all the furniture still there, but someone was asleep on the sofa in the lounge, and as I approached him I heard the bedroom door behind me open and someone else was there too. They were tenants who didn't even know that the flat had been sold. The vendor rang me and explained it wasn't anything to do with her, as they were her brother's tenants (that's how dumb she was). Anyway to cut a long story short I gave them until Friday evening to vacate, which they did.

Davesnave

SingleSue wrote: »

Living with someone with Aspergers can be horrendously banging your head against the wall frustrating. They have their own logic and rarely does that meet normal logic.

I'm a mum of a now adult son with Aspergers and the behaviour of the woman in this thread is pretty much on par with his logic and how he would behave despite many years of therapies etc to try to get him to think/see things differently. Every time you think you have cracked it, he does something which has you banging your head against the wall again.

Thanks Sue. One voice of experience is 100x more valuable than all the speculation here.

But some people will still 'know' better!

Harryp_24

Cakeguts wrote: »

So basically the best thing to learn from this for everyone is to never agree to anything being left in the house after completion and to change the locks on completion day.

I can see someone with a certain personality disorder behaving like this. They don't care about the affect on other people because they are so self centred they only ever do what suits them.

I would like to say to all Ftb reading this is to 1) not complete in the end of a weekend (I thought it would give me a nice time to get things done over the weekend)
2) don't agree to anything being left, it probably panned out like this
Vendor->estate agent: am I allowed to leave things in the house.
Estate agent->me: can she leave a few boxes.