Partner bought a house without me

robatwork

FBaby wrote: »

Sounds like you need to Hebrew a serious discussion with him.

Either autocorrect or it's that his logic is all right to left while hers is left to right....

ellie27

I am female......Just from the first post, couldn't read all through.....

It sounds like you are the one being unreasonable.

He has done a lot for you financially.

You didnt mention if you are paying the mortgage? Is he paying it all?

After 2 years together you partner bought a house......what is the big deal? He wanted to buy his grandpa's house and if he can afford it then it is nothing to do with you. You had only been together 2 years............

It sounds like you want more of a commitment than him but you have not really talked about it.

I think you are being selfish, however I can understand how you feel and I don't think you will ever get over this and it will always be on your mind.

Good luck

ACG

Buy a different house together if you plan on buying and living together.
If you live in this one or buy in to it neither of you are going to see it as a joint asset going forward by the sounds of it.

As a side note, you can get a mortgage with 1 years account although the rate will be a little higher than norm unless you have a 25% deposit. But most lenders will do it with 2 years accounts.

Im not going to comment on whether or not you should stay together, we have limited info to go off so difficult to say. You need to have a conversation about that between you. All I would say is someone who says something and then does something else twice on something quite major is a little worrying.

smmeadow

ellie27 wrote: »

I am female......Just from the first post, couldn't read all through.....

It sounds like you are the one being unreasonable.

He has done a lot for you financially.

You didnt mention if you are paying the mortgage? Is he paying it all?

After 2 years together you partner bought a house......what is the big deal? He wanted to buy his grandpa's house and if he can afford it then it is nothing to do with you. You had only been together 2 years............

It sounds like you want more of a commitment than him but you have not really talked about it.

I think you are being selfish, however I can understand how you feel and I don't think you will ever get over this and it will always be on your mind.

Good luck

They have been together four years... and I can't see what he has done for her financially? Nothing so far. In fact he's used her time to renovate HIS house yet only pays a third of the rent and bills for the house they share.

Pixie5740

ellie27 wrote: »

I am female......Just from the first post, couldn't read all through.....

If you'd read the whole OP properly that would have been a start. :cool:

ellie27

smmeadow wrote: »

They have been together four years... and I can't see what he has done for her financially? Nothing so far. In fact he's used her time to renovate HIS house yet only pays a third of the rent and bills for the house they share.

They had only been together 2 years when he bought his grandpa's house, OP said.

Did he ask her to renovate the house?

I didn't read all way through so now I see they are still in a rented house. I just assumed they were in the bought house now.....mmm....

I can see why he pays just 1/3 of the rent/bills........ there are 4 of them, she has 2 teenagers so costs split accordingly. This must have been an agreement they made when they started renting together, so It all seems like they are just tenants and not long term partners and in it for the full run.

antrobus

smmeadow wrote: »

They have been together four years... and I can't see what he has done for her financially? Nothing so far. In fact he's used her time to renovate HIS house yet only pays a third of the rent and bills for the house they share.

Four people live in the house they share. Two adults, and two children from a "previous relationship". From HIS point of view, paying a third of the rent and bills seems entirely reasonable to me; they are not his children.

That's not the issue anyway. The OP appears to be unhappy because they believe that their partner doesn't see their relationship as a forever thing. They could be right.

Mojisola

Velvetbat wrote: »

Yes we have gutted the entire house. I have been weilding sledgehammers, crow bars, rubble bag after rubble bag filled with plaster, bricks, pipes.

We have torn absolutely everything out of the house by hand and only just starting to see the end of the rubble, nowhere near "redecorating" quite yet.

I was more than happy to do all of this for a house I would have owned a part of 😊

Otherwise I would have just helped out occasionally when i had the time.

antrobus wrote: »

That's not the issue anyway. The OP appears to be unhappy because they believe that their partner doesn't see their relationship as a forever thing. They could be right.

And there's a big element of feeling conned.

"Come and do all these hours of very hard work in the house because it will be ours when it's finished.

Oh no, changed my mind, thanks for all your time and increasing the value of the property but I'm going to keep it all to myself now."

always_sunny

smmeadow wrote: »

They have been together four years... and I can't see what he has done for her financially? Nothing so far. In fact he's used her time to renovate HIS house yet only pays a third of the rent and bills for the house they share.

I might be 'new fashion', but what exactly does he have to do for her financially?
Why do people automatically assume that by helping someone (him in this case) they will get a share of something?

smmeadow

always_sunny wrote: »

I might be 'new fashion', but what exactly does he have to do for her financially?
Why do people automatically assume that by helping someone (him in this case) they will get a share of something?

It was a question for another poster who had stated he had done a lot for her financially. I was asking what had he done? Clearly their finances are completely separate which is fine that's how it works for some people, but he's obviously not being open and honest.