Potential dispute over car not mentioned in father's will

-taff

Just give the car back.
And let her sort it out.
Buy your own car.

BobRoberts

pelirocco wrote: »

I dont understand why YOU are making such a big deal out of it , Shes 80 years old , she has lost her husband ,and you are ranting on her saying how unreasonable she is being . The older you get the less you can cope with change , and losing your husband is a pretty big change , Taking the car away from her ( or anything tbh ) could easily have caused her more distress . The fact that she cant drive is neither here nor there , its her property to do with as she wishes .You really aren't coming across as a very nice person .....they say the apple doesnt fall from the tree ( as no doubt you will come back with some other complant about your mother )

The deal is simply that she has zero need for a car, and having a car would cost her upwards of £1,000 that she needn't have to play, plus the hassle that goes with it.

That seems entirely reasonable on my part, so I'm sorry you feel that makes me seem a not very nice person. All I can say is, with respect, you simply don't know what she is like, or what I have had to put up with from her over the years. You are also coming across as a rather judgmental person, deciding that someone you don't know, based on very little information, is "not a very nice person". If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, then if anything, I have my Dad's traits, who was the complete opposite of my Mum.

In the immediate context its very easy to think that my father's death is affecting her. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it has to a degree (although for the record his social worker as good as raised safeguarding concerns when he was ill. When I got Occupational Therapy to come to the house, they installed various bits of kit to help my Dad's mobility. My Mum just got annoyed with it all in the house because she thought it looked bad for her bed and breakfast guests), but her behaviour didn't change when he died - she has been a very difficult woman for as long as I can remember, and I have been more patient than many would have been with her behaviour which often crosses into flat out unacceptable.

leespot

Seriously just hand the car back and buy one. All this over a car that's really not worth very much just doesn't make sense. What she does with it is up to her - she's 80, let her get on with it.

Yorkshireman99

The OP really needs to make a decision. Just repeating the same story on here time after time. just wastes everyone's time. It reminds me of the Annabarbara threads.

BobRoberts

Apologies for wasting everyone's time.

I thought I was mostly just replying to people's comments.

Also thought that with forums people were free to browse, and choose to post or not post.

I do find it ironic that the consensus on the Money Saving Expert forum is for me to get into debt to the tune of a few grand to unnessarily buy a car, and for my mum to shell out about a grand a year unnecessarily.

Anyway, I won't take up any more of your time.

Yorkshireman99

The consensus is to give the car back and let her get on with it. The only person who can help you is yourself. Sorry if that sounds harsh, or blunt, it is meant to genuinely help you. No hard feelings just do it.

-taff

BobRoberts wrote: »

I do find it ironic that the consensus on the Money Saving Expert forum is for me to get into debt to the tune of a few grand to unnessarily buy a car, and for my mum to shell out about a grand a year unnecessarily.

She doesn't have to spend money on it, she can SORN it indefinitely.


MSE advice is usually also don't do anything that's not legal.
You've effectively stolen a car from your mother because legally it's hers.

Polmop

Can you just say to her, mum do you really want the car back if so it will cost you ££ per month which is ££ per year.
If so you can have it but sorry I cant help with the costs as I will be buying my own car

Article50

I think Yorkshireman and Taff are right to be honest. Your mother can SORN the vehicle which will cost her nothing. You will get some refund on Insurance and Tax..

As you have only fairly recently passed your test you clearly managed without a car for a long time, could you do so again ?

All advice given points to the same solution, it really is up to you do you want the continued hassle or not ?

relaxtwotribes

You have received lots of good opinions on this matter except the one you are looking for. So I'll do that for you.
Possession is nine tenths of the law. Keep the car.