Money Moral Dilemma: Should I 'reclaim' my car expenses?

Pollycat

Fitzmichael wrote: »

I can't conceive that this is anything but a concoction by your staff. This is not a matter of morality nor is it a dilemma, which is a term which ought to be reserved for a choice between equally undesirable outcomes, not as a synonym for any problem.

On this subject, does anyone else find the title of this thread strange?

'Reclaim'?

I thought to reclaim something was to get back something that you'd paid - like too much income tax or PPI - not something that you'd never had.

tensandunits_2

MSE_Nick wrote: »

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

When I was 17 my parents bought a car for me, but I paid all running costs myself using the income from my degree apprenticeship. My brother, who's about to go to university, just had a car bought for him but will also be getting all expenses paid for (approx £6,500 over three years), as he has no source of income. Am I within my rights to ask for the same amount back?

No. Don't be so petty.

TabbyDoll

I find this laughable, how could you even be so selfish? Your parents have brought you up- fed you, clothed you, supported you emotionally and financially, and you're prepared to sacrifice that over a car??
I am the oldest of 4 and definitely do not get treated equally to my siblings. They get constant handouts, and grab at them with both greedy hands. I recently learnt a lot about my dads childhood which made me realise why he acts this way with them. I know that if i asked he would help me financially in an instant- but it is not in me to ask. I made my choices, i pay my way.
My children will definitely be treated equally, because i know what it is like- and yes it did cause some resentment in my early years. It would break my dads heart if i asked him for the tens of thousands it would take to bring me up to the same handout level as my siblings- he would think he hadn't done enough- been enough. Don't just consider what it would do to your parents financially, think about the emotional effect.
Put on your big girl/boy pants and get over it!!

5us1e

Had your parents not been incredibly generous in the first place you would either have had no expenses at all in connection with running a car, or would have had to pay for the car as well. My advice? Grow up and stop being greedy.

tess1758

have you ever heard the song'' no charge''. Some kids are never thankful or grateful.Hope you will help your parents in later years.:mad:

JDPower

I think we've been had, by a made up (by MSE) clickbait question. Not the first, but using a fake account to create the MMD in the first place, that's a new tactic.

Pollycat wrote: »

This is now this weeks 'Money Moral Dilemma' over on the Marriages board.

Quite strange that the OP - a single post newbie 'brand new to the forum' used the term MMD in his post here.

Is MMD a widely recognised acronym for Money Moral Dilemma?
A quick Google suggests not.

gaving7095

LOL I've really enjoyed this one, thanks :-)

"Should I CLAW <it> back?" LOL yeah - go ahead."Claw away" at your own parents.
Whilst you're at it, why not punch a toddler & kick a kitten through an electric fan. Go wild & enjoy yourself! You only live once ;-)

Honeylife

Whilst I am not sure how serious this "dilemma" is, I write as a parent of four children.

You try real hard to be fair and equal but it all depends on the disposable income at the time. Each child has different needs at different times. The first born got the best quality stuff because I knew it would have to survive to be passed on the rest. Her hobbies became her profession and included many European trips, as far as I was concerned that was her extras. My middle son and daughter were at Uni at the same time, but only my son had a very well paid weekend job, so I didn't have to slip him money regularly like I had to with my daughter. But her course needed more equipment so I helped her fund that. When my son moved into his new flat some years later, mindful of not giving him much at Uni I gave him a generous contribution to furniture. He was surprised and delighted.

I have bought only one child a car, a 15 year old banger, as she needed it to get home from gigs at two in the morning carrying several large instruments. I also paid for the driving lessons. I agonised over that for ages then consulted the other children who unanimously agreed and supported the purchase, as they recognised the need for her to be safe getting home. No one said, "you didn't buy me one." Everyone got different things at different times. As a parent, you cannot be totally equal all the time. It's not about favouritism at all. To even consider asking for money from your parents because you didn't get precisely the same is totally absurd if not bizarre!

Drewski333

I'm sorry to be so blunt, but there is no moral dilemma here whatsoever. You are, in effect, deliberating whether or not to extort a lot of money from your own parents. It is clear that you don't feel a single iota of happiness for your brother's good fortune, and therefore you somehow feel hard done by. "Wow, six grand would come in really usefully for me", you no doubt thought along these lines.

To echo the words of another reply in this thread, you would do very well to find gratitude and appreciation for what you had in the past and what you have now. And please, especially when it comes to your own flesh and blood, be happy for goodness when it arrives.

Daisysparkles

The very fact that thought would even enter your head is appalling.
My parents are currently paying my legal fees after the breakdown of my long and abusive marriage. As a single mum to 3 young kids the fees are way beyond affordable for me, currently around £35k.
I have an elder brother. So, by your rationale, my parents owe him a pretty big lump sum.
But-guess what?! He wouldn't dream of asking for anything, he is simply happy that myself and my children are safe.
Greed is very unpleasant.