My partner has got me £12k+ in debt

DCFC79

Luckily you have put a stop to it before it got even worse.

You really do need to consider if it can work between you 2.

Do you 2 have the same aspirations eg you have mentioned having your own place.

TinieT

I cancelled my credit card with provider of Card Number 1 but will want to transfer this balance to the new 0% balance transfer provider I just got accepted with.

Would I be able to enter my old card number in to do the transfer? I guess I need to call them, they might have to re-issue it to me again I guess as my old card won't be valid anymore?

TinieT

Sambella wrote: »

Oh sweetheart!

This post about his expenses bill for a business trip should have set the loudest of alarm bells ringing. He took out cash and lost most of the receipts. Wow, all from your credit. You have no way of knowing what he spent your credit on , he spent mostly in cash so it isn't listed in credit card bill.

Cut those cards up. I'd be very interested to see how he reacts when he no longer has access to your credit. For your sake I really do hope it will make him wise up about his finances and his reckless and inconsiderate use of your credit.

You love him so it's up to you if you stay with him but I too would advise kicking him to the kerb unless he changes. But you are unlikely to get any money towards paying tthis credit if you do although you're not getting any now.

Yep, he was in Singapore where he said everything is super expensive, which I understand it is but he obviously got carried away.

I know, I know! It just sounds awful. But I have closed the cards, he knows I have closed them and did say "he's sorry and knows how badly he's got me into debt under my name and so on". But anyway, I think I just need to pay it myself unfortunately.

bexster1975

Hello TinieT

Thank you for clarification.

I think you need to consider your relationship with this guy carefully.

In terms of the debt, I'm afraid I agree with those who say get it cleared ASAP. Whether he returns any money to you remains to be seen. If you can switch to another 0% card as your current deal ends, at least you won't owe interest too.

I'm sorry to hear of your story, but as I said in my first post, you are not the first and will not be the last. Think about why you love him. I'm sorry to sound clinical but are the things on your list worth paying £12000 for? ( and if you stay with him maybe more). I'm not a romantic so it's very easy to make that statement, but it's worth considering nonetheless

Bexster

TinieT

DCFC79 wrote: »

Luckily you have put a stop to it before it got even worse.

You really do need to consider if it can work between you 2.

Do you 2 have the same aspirations eg you have mentioned having your own place.

Yes, he definitely wants to own a home, we always planned to move out but of course all this debt business got in the way. But he's actually going to be renting soon for other reasons and of course this might take a chunk out of his monthly wage. Aspiration wise, we are on the same page but in realistic terms it just hasn't happened so far

TinieT

I appreciate all your kind comments - I haven't told anyone of this and my family thinks I have a load of savings (I think they think I have at least £20k saved as I've been working for 5 years) but obviously they don't know what's going on and I'm definitely not telling them. It helps not to be judged as I feel embarrassed

itchyfeet123

I know it's embarrassing, but is there anyone you can talk to who knows you both? A friend, sibling, parent? From here, we can't tell if this guy is a good guy who just needs to get his life on track, or a calculating manipulator. Being ashamed about what's already happened doesn't help you and could make you more vulnerable. The fact that you trusted your partner says good things about you, not bad.

bexster1975

Great news about 0% balance transfer ( just caught up on the thread, that escalated quickly!!)

Please don't feel embarrassed. I love MSE decided f r e e l o a d e r was a swear word!! I had put several other words in that space :rotfl:

It looks like you can sort this. I'm afraid I wouldn't be awake all night crying about the debt, more likely crying over the very expensive lesson. It really is best to try to keep your focus forwards not back, whatever you decide to do. People on this forum tend not to judge, many have been in yours ( or similar) positions.

Bexster

ERICS_MUM

datlex wrote: »

Out of interest why is the hair dresser essential? What do you have done that costs £216 per month? Not saying you should not go to hairdresser just trying to work out why you would need to spend so much.

In the original post the op states £40-£50 for her hair which. I assume is per month (unless she'S amended it in a later post which I've missed).

Many women will spend that much and more (I'm guilty !) so I don't think it's unreasonable or even extravagant !

Sambella

TinieT wrote: »

I cancelled my credit card with provider of Card Number 1 but will want to transfer this balance to the new 0% balance transfer provider I just got accepted with.

Would I be able to enter my old card number in to do the transfer? I guess I need to call them, they might have to re-issue it to me again I guess as my old card won't be valid anymore?

Should be fine to still use the number as the card may be dead but the account remains open until paid off.