Get a grip woman!

Mrs_Money_Penny

So sorry to hear your news.Take care xx

Busy_Mee

So sorry to hear your news. Sending a big virtual hug x

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

I am so sorry to hear of your loss Suffolk Lass, ((hugs)) to you and Mr Lass x 

Suffolk_lass

Thank you everyone who has posted condolences. It is more of a comfort than I had imagined. Really. Very much appreciated. x

XSpender

My condolences to you and Mr SL on the passing of your MIL.  Sending hugs to you both xxx

shangaijimmy

Thinking of you both at this difficult time.

Suffolk_lass

Thanks again for the condolences everyone. A collection of lovely cards and notes from friends and family to DH have reminded us of the lovely person she was before the dementia took her away, long before her body failed. SIL and DH are meeting the Funeral Director on Monday to make arrangements but have already agreed a wake for lots of cousins (of whom DH is the youngest at 61) might wipe them all out in one go given their range of underlying health issues, is a bad idea. So plan to hold a ceremony to scatter her ashes near where FIL's are buried in Devon at a point when things have become a bit easier and less likely to infect each other.

I am, I confess, a bit twitchy about Covid 19 as a moderately high risk person. I have asthma and it has escalated to pleurisy several times as a result of chest/upper respiratory tract problems. It has never actually got to pneumonia yet and I do recognise it coming but I don't want to be part of the population developing herd immunity through contraction - I am more keen on taking advantage of that herd immunity once they have it! The GP has prescribed replacement high dose steroids for me to keep in hand for Justin Case (should he visit).

In the meantime I sat in the lounge and watched a bit of racing on the TV yesterday. I decided with a few minutes to go to check my old betting account and had an impulse ew bet on both the winner and second placed horses in the gold cup! - it replenished my little betting kitty which was much depleted after I stopped following my own rules for increasing it. It reminded me I used to make a fair bit betting but I have not done so for ages. I may not get a chance again if all the sporting events I follow continue to be cancelled. Ho hum.

themadvix

That sounds like a sensible precaution regarding the wake, and glad you’ve got some Justin medication too.

 Well done on the win!

maggiem

Sorry to read of the loss of your MIL but how lovely to read comments about her before the dementia. My Mum passed away last year having been in a care home for some time making it hard to recall the wonderful person she was before dementia developed so reminders from friends and relatives to you and DH must have been very welcome. 

Suffolk_lass

Thanks maggiem, it is lovely actually. Disposing of possessions is hard. SIL and DH had to clear her room at the care home on Friday and managed to donate a piece of furniture, her electric armchairs and most of her clothing to the home. DH brought home a large framed collage of some absolutely lovely family photos, alongside her ginger jar, a small ornament he bought her and a candle he bought her in Germany, when he lived there, maybe 35 years ago, before he met me. I know my SIL has upgraded from the camping table in her kitchen to her mother's small dining table and chairs. It crystallises down to a few treasured momentos and a couple of pieces of jewellery.

The rest is very much the person you remember. I chose not to visit my MIL once the dementia meant she did not know me, so my own memories are of her when she was still her. Much harder for her immediate children, and I know DH has struggled. Forcing himself out of love and duty but taking little pleasure in the visits. After my father died (cancer, not dementia) it was important to get back to happy memories of him in his prime. I had some beautiful photos of him that I deliberately put up on my wall, by my bed, so I woke up to him laughing. It helped get past the last bits. I hope you have managed to remember your Mum in happier times maggiem.