14 years I feel Ive wasted,not sure how to cope

my-user-name

spirit wrote: »

Tell him that you realised he was crap at finance, but surely he must know the difference between a number 6 and 7 LOL

Im crap at finance too but even I know the difference between 6 and 7
Oh well I,ll just count my blessings.

my-user-name

annandale wrote: »

Six grand more than you had a week ago. You could put some of it towards a pension plan and treat yourself with the rest

I will probably do this annadale but I wont be spending any of it,I,ll never get this amount in a long time to come so I'm going to save it or put it towards a pension plan of some sort.

Pollycat

VintageHistorian wrote: »

I'd say he's trying to provoke you in to contacting him. He knows how much you agreed, he knows sending less will annoy you, he thinks you'll phone him up demanding more, all so he can have a bit of a go at you again.

Remember, you showed him that you're perfectly capable of living without him, and he doesn't like that.

Just leave it. It's disappointing, even heartbreaking, but you're much better than he is. No texts, no emails, no calls. If he contacts you asking "did my payment arrive?" then you say "Yes thank you", if he contacts you saying "Did my £7000 arrive?" you just say "Money received, thank you" without confirming any kind of number that actually showed up. Ignore any message after that.

Tonight I think you need a hot bath or shower and a good watch of something on TV or DVD. No doctor around so this is Historian's orders!

my-user-name wrote: »

I'm leaving it Vintage,Id rather walk away with my head held high and with £6,000 that I didn't know I had a week ago than ranting to him about welching on his deal.
I,ll count my blessings and save it for a rainy day,besides I don't wish to commumicate with him anyway.I think Ive made the right decision.

I think that's the best thing to do.

I too think he's done it on purpose with some ulterior motive in mind.
And is waiting for you to bite.
So - don't.

my-user-name

Pollycat wrote: »

I think that's the best thing to do.

I too think he's done it on purpose with some ulterior motive in mind.
And is waiting for you to bite.
So - don't.

Whatever his motives its not worked for him Pollycat,I should be grateful I got the 6,000 in the first place so I,ll count my blessings and hope I never hear from him again.
Thinking about it his move from me must be costing so much,moving into a new place(rent money each month) new things like bed furniture etc,paying for his own food etc and finally giving up £6,000.I think if he could have his time over again I don't think he would of sat me down to tell me he dosent love me etc but for me anyway I'm glad he did.x

calicocat

Hi, been MIA due to work, have read catch-up but not every post to be honest so apologies if I have missed things and got something wrong.



😂😂😂😂😂😂. Widows pension, he's lucky you aren't collecting it right now, although straight out murder tends to skrew that bit up in general. .

. What a horrid person to be thinking about how much he may have to pay looking after you when he paid nothing into the 14yrs. I can't actually type what I want to on this board as will be barred or have some ritual crusifiction on this board.

How upsetting also having someone do that when you have made such steps in your head and have someone write that off in a conversation.

Grab the money , he owes you that anyhow, that isn't a bonus. The bonus is that it is yours so treat it as you say as savings......always a positive somewhere kiddo.

If he contacts you again, ask him what he has in assets, in a pension, what area does he live, what doesn't he have to bring to the table to a relationship ( not yours..you just ask these things), what is he good at, how does he contribute to a relationship.....etc. He will fail epic style .

And just don't wait for an answer, put the phone on the floor and go and make yourself a cuppa leaving him telling fresh air how good he is.

Jeeze. ..what a ddddick-head.

Primrose

I'm sure that he is now well into the journey of discovering he knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. And he's probably experiencing some wry moments of realisation along the way. It's the old story that you never know the value of what you have until you lose it.
I think in your case though the opposite applies and you never knew the worthlessness of what you had until you found you weren't,t having to financially support it any more!

EdwardB

calicocat wrote: »

Hi, been MIA due to work, have read catch-up but not every post to be honest so apologies if I have missed things and got something wrong.

😂😂😂😂😂😂. Widows pension, he's lucky you aren't collecting it right now, although straight out murder tends to skrew that bit up in general. .

What a horrid person to be thinking about how much he may have to pay looking after you when he paid nothing into the 14yrs. I can't actually type what I want to on this board as will be barred or have some ritual crusifiction on this board.

How upsetting also having someone do that when you have made such steps in your head and have someone write that off in a conversation.

Grab the money , he owes you that anyhow, that isn't a bonus. The bonus is that it is yours so treat it as you say as savings......always a positive somewhere kiddo.

If he contacts you again, ask him what he has in assets, in a pension, what area does he live, what doesn't he have to bring to the table to a relationship ( not yours..you just ask these things), what is he good at, how does he contribute to a relationship.....etc. He will fail epic style .

And just don't wait for an answer, put the phone on the floor and go and make yourself a cuppa leaving him telling fresh air how good he is.

Jeeze. ..what a ddddick-head.

Ditto! Just catching up.

Murder? Stranger on a [STRIKE]train [/STRIKE]website forum

Whilst MUN deserves the money I can't help but wonder if he has been given legal advice that this is in his own interest.

If he contacts again, do not engage, not a word, done is done, just resets the emotional healing.

EdwardB

calicocat wrote: »

Jeeze. ..what a ddddick-head.

BTW you can't use that language, watch the video and consider one of the examples below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7A3orHdCUXE

Badgey
Groger
Guntsmith
Shlunt
Schluntster
Shuckfunt
Shafter
Bumfunter
Scroteling
Shuckface
Grogerjack
Cockashunt
Shuntbreath
Guntashunt
Shuntagunt
Shuntface
Funtsucker
Ballgunter
Slitwippper
Scrote-toker
Captain Shunt
Captain Shuntfunter
Rectanuggie
Rectabreath
Felchbreath
Little Felchface
Guntaclunt
Scroteyshucker
Cockawaft
Slittycheese
Shuntcheese
Guntcheese
Wangcheese
Grogancheese
Snagcheese
Slit-slapper
Gunt-slapper
Grogan-sponge
Shuckfunter
Dogfelcher
Thundergunt
Chunt
Chunt-magnet
Chunt-cheese
Chunt-face
Bum-chunt
!!!!-chunt
Chunt-cheeks
Chunt-jacker
Chunt-breath
Ejacu-gunt
Recto-gunt
Mister Chuntspread
Funt-hole
Chunt-hole
Chunt lips
Gunt-a-chunt
Snag-chunt
Chunt-snag
Chunt-spit
Chunt-head
Chunt-wiper
Chunt-rooter
Ball-rooter
Chunt-skid
Gunt-skull
Sticky-sticky chunt-mason

EdwardB

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Look on the bright side, he was cold, callous and calculating, but he wasn't one of my exes.

I mentioned in passing that my new job gave me £200,000 Accidental Death in Service benefit from the first day I started there.

After he traded me in for a newer model, I got somebody in to fix a light switch he'd fitted 'for me' because it was buzzing and he'd always said there was nothing wrong with it, he was deemed A Competent Person for the installation of electrical items (he trained and assessed electricals ervice engineers for his job).

Turned out that the live wire was carefully stripped of its protective coating and was laying just 2mm short of the metal housing of the switch, completely loose. As was the immersion heater's and every socket he'd replaced that I used regularly. The only one that was done properly was the one where he plugged in his phone charger.

It could be a coincidence...but the electrician went white and insisted on doing every socket and switch in the place for me and refused to charge a penny for doing it.

On first reading you would imagine not possible that someone could do such a thing.

Would he benefit from your will?

First thing, make sure you have done a will that excludes him or leaves him the value of his relationship, 1p.

Next have your gas or any other fire risk checked, along with your car brake fluid line!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

EdwardB wrote: »

On first reading you would imagine not possible that someone could do such a thing.

Would he benefit from your will?

First thing, make sure you have done a will that excludes him or leaves him the value of his relationship, 1p.

Next have your gas or any other fire risk checked, along with your car brake fluid line!

He assumed he would. Pity the old guy at the firm had made certain I'd decided already where it should go in the event of my demise, strongly recommending that it didn't go to 'somebody who isn't prepared to marry you, unless, um, er, if you have something in common with some of our gents who nominated a Special Male Friend as beneficiary [polite cough]' - so it wasn't ever going anywhere near his pocket and I'd just forgotten to mention that bit to him :whistle:.

I'd already replaced all the appliances and the boiler by six weeks after he'd left, too, including the vacuum cleaner that had inexplicably given me a jolt when switching it on and picking up the (metal) hose.