14 years I feel Ive wasted,not sure how to cope

Pollycat

my-user-name wrote: »

Your right Vintage,it is a long time and yes I'm just a tad concerned.............but it definatly dosent mean I want him back or will ever get back with him that's a certaintly nomatter how well or poorely he may be.
I need a good slapping

Ready and waiting with a baseball bat. :whistle:

-taff

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Turned out that the live wire was carefully stripped of its protective coating and was laying just 2mm short of the metal housing of the switch, completely loose. As was the immersion heater's and every socket he'd replaced that I used regularly. The only one that was done properly was the one where he plugged in his phone charger.
.

That's really chilling....

sarahsays

Hi, my user name. I'm a long term reader of the forum posts but seldom post - have lost my old user name so have just started up a new one. I felt I had to post here because the fact that your ex has willingly and without fuss said that he will give you £7000 worries me. If he has gone to a solicitor for a portion of your flat, they may have told him that he can't have any as he didn't contribute very much to the bills (especially if they're all in your name), but he might have said that it was agreed that he was saving for both your futures instead- no proof of this though unless he transfers some of that into your account - £7000 would be a cheap price to pay for half your flat. Have you any proof that he was even saving over those years - or has someone lent him £7000 to get a bigger return out of you. I wouldn't trust this one bit and would go to a solicitor to check out your rights, regarding your flat or if all property and money would be seen as joint once he transferred money into your account - a cheap, surely under £100? - consultation with a solicitor might well save you a lot of money in the long run. I just think the situation sounds a bit dodgy.

my-user-name

sarahsays wrote: »

Hi, my user name. I'm a long term reader of the forum posts but seldom post - have lost my old user name so have just started up a new one. I felt I had to post here because the fact that your ex has willingly and without fuss said that he will give you £7000 worries me. If he has gone to a solicitor for a portion of your flat, they may have told him that he can't have any as he didn't contribute very much to the bills (especially if they're all in your name), but he might have said that it was agreed that he was saving for both your futures instead- no proof of this though unless he transfers some of that into your account - £7000 would be a cheap price to pay for half your flat. Have you any proof that he was even saving over those years - or has someone lent him £7000 to get a bigger return out of you. I wouldn't trust this one bit and would go to a solicitor to check out your rights, regarding your flat or if all property and money would be seen as joint once he transferred money into your account - a cheap, surely under £100? - consultation with a solicitor might well save you a lot of money in the long run. I just think the situation sounds a bit dodgy.

Good Lord thats put a different slang on all this sarah:(
At first he offered to pay for the decorating it cost me for the living room and I basically told him what I thought of that idea.He then asked me to make a suggestion and it was then I said £7,000 which he said yes too.Iwas hoping he said yes to that amount out of guilt for giving me next to nothing throughout our relationship.
The only proof he has of putting money into my account is a monthly direct debit of £90 and that was my monthly Sky payment. Sky was in my name and it came out of my account so he did a monthly D/D of £90 which went into my account.
When he split up with his wife around 16 years ago they had a agreement that she would keep the house and he would keep his pension and he kept to that.
Im sure it was due to guilt that he said yes to the £7,000 sarah and not a way of getting half of my flat(famous last words)
He must of been saving all of those years because I was only getting £90 a month from him so he must of kept the rest of his money to himself???all our holidays together was split 50/50 right down the middle,same as meals out etc.
I dont think it would do me any harm visiting a solicitor but if this is his plan then surely a solicitor would see through it?????

my-user-name

Ive just read this on another forum board.....


Many couples choose to live together without getting married and this is often referred to as ‘common law marriage’. However, this term is not recognized by law and does not hold any of the same rights as a legal marriage, however long you have been together. Many people believe that they are entitled to a percentage of their partner’s assets but this is not true. This is good news for you!
If the mortgage is solely in your name and you did not have any formal cohabitation or rental agreement with your partner then he is not entitled to claim any of your house. You say that you have been the sole provider, but even if your partner had been making financial contributions, unless his name is on the deeds, it’s all yours. He may still try to make a claim but the law is on your side and he is unlikely to have a case.

sarahsays

Hi my user name,
Maybe it's me being overly suspicious - it just seems that someone who appears as fond of money as he is just wouldn't part with so much of it so easily, especially if he was happy for you to pay for everything up to now. As for a solicitor seeing through it, they might just say, well, now you've taken the money, there's nothing we can do. If it were me, I'd delay having the money put in my account until I saw a solicitor. Sorry if I'm worrying you unnecessarily - I might be entirely wrong about his motivation and hope I am, but I'd check it out legally just to be sure.

sarahsays

Sorry, must have cross posted. I have no knowledge of the law myself, I'm just a suspicious so and so! Sorry to have worried you unnecessarily.

my-user-name

sarahsays wrote: »

Sorry, must have cross posted. I have no knowledge of the law myself, I'm just a suspicious so and so! Sorry to have worried you unnecessarily.

You made a valid point though sarah,he did agree straight away to my suggestion.
Mind you its not in the bank yet lol
Deep down it isn't even the money that's important, its the fact he admitted to saving for his own future and not our future,thats the only reason why I said its payback time then.
He was only thinking about money so I thought "what the hell,two can play that game"
12 months ago in my wildest dreams i would never of thought it was going to come to this.:(

DavidP24

The £7k is simple, just have him sign a piece of paper saying that he is giving you that money in recognition of your supporting him and it is a full and final settlement for both parties.

Of course if he just won the lottery your !!!!!!ed but I get the impression you would not want a bit of it anyway.

sarahsays

Hi my user name,
I'm just going to point out one more thing - as I'll feel bad if I don't and something goes wrong. I looked up on google what are the rights of unmarried couples and a solicitor's site gave an explanation - this is part of what they said:

If the property is held in the sole name of one partner, for example if they already owned the home before the couple got together, then the situation can be more complex. The starting point in this situation is that the person whose name the property is in will retain full ownership.

The complexity arises when the person whose name the property is not held in has contributed financially to the property by means of mortgage payments, purchase deposit or paying for improvements to the property. In some cases there may have been some form of formal or informal agreement between the couple that the property was intended to be jointly owned even though the legalities of changing the property title were not undertaken.

If this is the case then it will be up to you, along with your solicitor, to justify that you are entitled to a share of the property. This will often involve going to court.

Don't know if payment for the redecoration would count as 'improvements to the property. Sorry, I'll butt out now.