What small DFW things will you do this week? w/c 23/01

determined_new_ms

angelpye wrote: »

Hi all,

A bit late to the party but had a friend round for coffee and have managed a NSD (2nd in a row) so all good.

Today I need to sit down with my finances and make sure I am clear about what is what. I think I will just note in my diary for now when I use from savings account for the yearly budget stuff and then try to work out how to use the spreadsheet on my laptop...its been an awfully long time but mr G@@gle is usually a huge help with this kind of thing. Thanks all for suggestions - I can't justify purchasing software atm but will keep in mind for the future.

Breakfast and lunch at home and dinner will be from meal plan.

I am warming up to declutter mode and thinking I need to look at eb@y again as well as sites for selling books...tons of books so some of them should be worth the trouble. Also have a few higher value items that could go if I can work out where best to sell them.

Psychologically this budgeting thing is like a roller coaster. I feel overall better to know exactly what I can spend etc, doing it and staying on target is a challenge and the knowledge it isn't going away anytime soon is depressing. Sorry to moan - on the whole I am optimistic and I know I am lucky - I have a secure home, food on the table, a car, happy DD and healthcare is free...more than a lot of people. It's the guilt I have that is hard - I feel like such a bad mother for DD to live with such a budget even though she is unaware and she does a lot of activities, has plenty of toys, clothes and her dad takes her abroad etc.

My income will improve in April by £150 so if I can work with my current budget then at least that will feel less tight and more money on the cc plus some money for a little break I decided on for the summer...DD is so excited and it is costing very little as have researched it to the finest of details.

I get that angelpye but the reality is kids (humans) need very little other than a diet that meets their nutritional needs, stability, love, strong attachments, access to educational activities, books, a home life that offers support and refuge from the outside world. All the rest is bs that we are continually fed. Some of my friends who had all of this tell me they never had one iota of an idea that they were poor growing up. I didn't have these things and was desperately poor as a child and what I wanted was love, support and peace. Fight the guilt its a wasted emotion. You're doing a good job, remind of that and fill your life with people who do x

angelpye

Thanks determined new ms, I do try to keep hold of that. I don't buy into materialism on the whole and in fact have made a conscious decision to lead a minimalist life - a decision that came as a natural process, separate to financial issues, over the last couple of years and is now being put into action.

It's just not being able to afford many experiences that hurts as well as the fact that debt and tight budget = stress. I am hoping now that I have had my LBM (the third of my life and determined its my last to match my commitment to living more minimal) the stress will diminish. I am not stressed with DD, I grew up poor with a very angry mother, but I do suffer low mood mainly triggered by financial worry and that does get in the way of being my best self at times.

Its not like I judge others as bad parents for making some wrong turns so yes, I need to get past the guilt and be kind to myself. We all make mistakes!

I guess I just put it out there as I don't have someone I can talk to about my situation. Paying off my debt and having savings for emergencies as well as money to go places is my aim. I want a simple life with the ability to share experiences with those I love without worry of paying the bills. I will get there.

Thank you for your wisdom, its very much appreciated!

determined_new_ms

angelpye wrote: »

Thanks determined new ms, I do try to keep hold of that. I don't buy into materialism on the whole and in fact have made a conscious decision to lead a minimalist life - a decision that came as a natural process, separate to financial issues, over the last couple of years and is now being put into action.

It's just not being able to afford many experiences that hurts as well as the fact that debt and tight budget = stress. I am hoping now that I have had my LBM (the third of my life and determined its my last to match my commitment to living more minimal) the stress will diminish. I am not stressed with DD, I grew up poor with a very angry mother, but I do suffer low mood mainly triggered by financial worry and that does get in the way of being my best self at times.

Its not like I judge others as bad parents for making some wrong turns so yes, I need to get past the guilt and be kind to myself. We all make mistakes!

I guess I just put it out there as I don't have someone I can talk to about my situation. Paying off my debt and having savings for emergencies as well as money to go places is my aim. I want a simple life with the ability to share experiences with those I love without worry of paying the bills. I will get there.

Thank you for your wisdom, its very much appreciated!

anytime chick talk it out any time, we're all happy to listen but be prepared for us to call it out when we think someone is talking bs

I also grew up with an extremely angry mother and there was a lot of violence in my life. Maybe this leaves us with a predisposition with being ultra hard and critical on ourselves, but I think most mother's have a leaning towards thinking we're not quite doing a good enough job. However my kids are now 23 & 24, I beat myself up terribly over the last decade that I didn't do enough and wasn't a good enough parent. Last year I decided to get over it, my kids love me, I love them, they are in my life and I'm an important part of theirs. They both say I did a good job and they appreciate all I did to bring them up, the struggles I faced and sacrifices I made x

angelpye

More than happy for you to call BS! Isn't that what 'friends' do?

I too had a lot of violence in my younger life and I do think its left me a bit hard on myself but also totally committed to never let a child of mine live that unpredictable unsafe way of life that was normalised for me. I refuse to have drama in my life for myself either - simple, calm but fun is where its at for me.

Glad your kids can appreciate all you did, although it can be tough it is so worth it!

LuckyPenny

Hi
Busy work day
- took packed lunch to work
- FPL
- realised that I'm paying gadget insurance but I don't think it's worthwhile continuing as the excess is £50 and touch wood we are fairly careful and could self insure. So I've cancelled the DD.
- Still got to transfer another DD for blue rewards.
That's all today LP x

DawnW

La_escocesa wrote: »

Hopefully things will settle down Dawn. That was like us last year when we moved in with with our inlaws with dog in tow and that was only for a week... One thing that could be worth looking into is doggy day care places - your son's dog could go there every day and leave you with your normal routine. The one my dog goes to is open 7.30am-6.30pm.

I did think of this, but worked out it would cost about £100 for a five day week :eek: in this area . This is very reasonable, I realise, but I can't afford it sadly, and neither can DS.

maria3104

Hi all

All good here apart from exceeding grocery budget. Such a shame but the fridge was bare.

Interesting farming times here. Our ewes are all crossing their legs and keeping their lambs inside them. About 40 look ready to explode. They do daily yoga stretches and groan and snore, but no babies. Wierd.
Office chaos phase about to begin.

Work tomorrow until midnight. I may not be out by 4 on Thursday morning. I can feel a lie in coming on.

Bye for now all.

M x

1LuckyLady

1LuckyLady wrote: »

Today's list
* Kids to breakfast club for free done
* On my 3rd :coffee: now, this is the one I'm using up before trying something new at the weekend as we aren't keen on this one but dh is still open to trying others done
* DM'd Tesc0 clubcard as I was having an issue with having an old card number on my account instead of the MrT credit card clubcard that I use. Got a reply back really quickly and its now all sorted, this has been an ongoing issue for ages and ages and has been on my annoying list for so long but all done now done
* From yesterday's list Sort out box of cross stitch fabric & supplies that my mum sent me, includes lots of cards/envelopes for x stich, haven't done x stitch in yrs so need to find some small ones to do and start making some cards. I have lots and lots and lots of the threads so this is part of operation use up!
* Make families sandwiches for tomorrow done
* Check banking/update spreadsheet done
* Check fpl/lukcyohpne/nuberplate done
* Inbox£ searches done
* Swag$'s - games/poll/search if nothing else! done
* Ordered some days out tokens from mR T clubcard, ready for use in half term with the kids done
* Dishwasher on quick wash done
* Meals tonight - kids - leftover chicken/mushroom/veg bake that we had last night with jacket potatoes done
Us - Got meatballs out for us and I need to make a tomato based sauce to go with it (make a big batch so that we have some for us all tomorrow night too) done, tin of toms, gratged carrot, sweetcorn, peas, peppers previously chopped and frozen, some lentils, a handful of porridge oats, some spinach that was turning, some lamb oxo cubes that had gone all soft - only 4yrs OOD :eek:, jar of pickled onions, tom puree and some Italian spice mix herb thingy that I got over a year ago from checkoutsmart for free
* Use something from the useup box a jar of pickled onions chopped and added to the meatballs sauce
* Four baths from one lot of hot water & continue using up various lotions and potions done
* Clean kitchen using stardrops & microfbre cloths done
* Kids to prepaid swim lessons tonight, won't take purse but will take them a snack each done, they were bickering as I picked them up from school so didn't give them the snack so that's saved for another day!

That's my list for starters, might do more or might have a nap!
Have a good day all
** Claimed payout on both tcb & £co, not much but every little helps
** Post has come with a £5 gift card for John 1ewis so might actually use a coffee&cake vouchers after all Foxgloves!

Still haven't looked at the cross stitch stuff, I may do that after I've typed this... or may add it to tomorrows list!
In other news... we've decided not to put the kids into the next swimming course as I'm not sure how much they are getting out of it now, they've both been in the top class for sometime and they see the lessons as a chore. So that saves £94 every 10 weeks! I don't want to make them go, I want them to want to go. After sorting through the clubcard vouchers earlier I've got enough vouchers to get lots of days out tokens for the local fancy pool, so they still will go swimming but actually want to go for a change. I've told them the plan and they were both thrilled but I've only told them that I'm not booking the next term and that when we do go to the pool, I want to see my youngest swimming properly at least some of the time as well not just going on the slides. Also we are going away for Feb half term and there is a pool there and they've both said they will swim everyday too.

Our meatballs meal was lovely!! Although I wouldn't put pickled onions in again!! :D:rotfl::rotfl:

Cheery_Daff

Angelpye, I'll add my voice to those saying be kind to yourself :kisses3: I'm not a parent and can only imagine the level of guilt I'd feel for things I imagined I'd done wrong :rotfl: but when I look back at my childhood, the things I remember fondly often turn out to be the things we did cos my mum was on her own and didn't have any money :rotfl: Sofa pulled right up in front of the gas fire, playing upstairs with duffle coats on (we didn't have central heating), tea and jammy toast for tea, 'cheese pie' (which was just a bowl of mash with some grated cheese on the top) etc. You're doing a grand job, I'm sure of it. Just put down that stick that you're hitting yourself with! :kisses3:

Excellent work in here today people :j

Not much to report - lunch/snacks from frozen as planned, and we just felt in need of a tasty treat so I've knocked up a batch of brownies :j They can go in the freezer for snacks over the next few days too

Tired tonight - Mr Cheery is doing musical things in the kitchen with a friend so I'm curled up on the sofa with a cuppa (and, er, several brownies :rotfl: ) and will likely nod off soon if left unsupervised

DawnW

I did wonder about the pickled onions, 1LL :rotfl::rotfl: