Other thread opened my eyes

lessonlearned

Another one late to the party.

I shall raise a glass to you tonight.......

Again I agree with the others......keep your distance, set your boundaries, do your duty by all means but make sure your brothers do their share too.

And don't let hate eat away at you.......it's just too destructive.

Have a wonderful celebration and a fabulous looooong and fun filled retirement.

LameWolf

Litchielou I don't really "do" parties, but just sticking my head around the door to wish you and DH a very long, happy, stress-free retirement.

Oh, and "Non Carborundum Illegitematus". (don't let the b*****ds grind you down).;)

Mr LW and I will be partaking of some wine tonight (it's Full Moon) so if I have sufficient, I may do the Happy Dance in my wheelchair in your honour.

elona

I had not realised it was the full moon tonight but will raise a glass to your retirement and do "the dance of joy!" (Watched too much "Angel" with Dds and really liked Lorne)

If it were not for spite she would have nothing to keep her going which is so sad - for her and for everyone else. Bet the men in the family don't get the same spite and hatefulness.

Please don't let her spit on your parade (nearly said something rude
. You seem like a lovely person and try to think of her just as an example not to follow rather than the loving caring and thoughtful person that you wish she were ( and that you obviously are).

Litchielou

I would just like to thank you all for your support especially monnagran whose post opened my eyes.
I have another thread called 'retiring early' and that one makes me happy to post on.
I feel this one has made me realise how much of an idiot I was (notice the passed tense)
I am starting to stand up for myself and stepping back a little bit.

Love to you all xx

GreyQueen

The best reaction to those who try to upset us is to let if slough off like water off the proverbial duck's back. You get on with enjoying your retirement and stand back at a distance from her manipulations.

All the best, and a metaphorical glass raised here, too. Cheers! :beer:

117pauline

I love the idea of us all raising a glass for each other.

However...... I take exception at the idea of you describing yourself as an idiot - I see it as you being a caring and empathetic person.

And it is time you are caring and empathetic towards yourself and your husband.

maryb

Reading this I hear my mother's voice hissing at me "Any NORMAL girl would be glad to help her mother". Just after she had been totally unreasonable and usually just after she had yet again overindulged my brother.

I've recently read about narcissism and I think that explains a lot about her behaviour and possibly your mother too. Not completely in my mother's case, she wasn't like that with her adored son. But then again maybe having a son who could do no wrong was still all about her and how well it reflected on her

Litchielou

Took Mother to hospital today there was a little bit of change in mine and her attitude.
I want in all guns ready and told her I didn't like how she spoke to me over the phone the other day.
And if she spoke like that again I will put the phone down. At first she says it was because I hadn't told her I was finishing work(I had she doesn't listen) and I'd told all my friends before her.
As she started to rant I said I will wait in the car.
She came out, got in the car and pretended that conversion hadn't happened. As I was dropping her
off she handed me £10 for petrol first time ever. Still no thank you. I then told her I couldn't take her for 3 weeks and to ask one of brothers then I drove off. Came back went to Jean next door and had a long chat we then had a very very large glass of wine. DH came home to find me tiddly and laughing.


So why do I feel guilty of my behaviour.

Thanks again for your support, I have been reading other threads and realise that there are so many people who have problems with their Mothers. These last few weeks has seen me stand up to her and its all from reading everyone's advice.

Better have an early night as that large glass of wine ended up us drinking the whole bottle and on a
School night. What would Mother say ha ha

Love to you all xx

Primrose

Litchielou wrote: »

Better have an early night as that large glass of wine ended up us drinking the whole bottle and on a
School night. What would Mother say ha ha /QUOTE]

Do I get a sense of real liberation in that comment ::rotfl:

Mojisola

Litchielou wrote: »

Took Mother to hospital today there was a little bit of change in mine and her attitude.

I want in all guns ready and told her I didn't like how she spoke to me over the phone the other day. And if she spoke like that again I will put the phone down.

As she started to rant I said I will wait in the car.

She came out, got in the car and pretended that conversion hadn't happened.

As I was dropping her off she handed me £10 for petrol first time ever. Still no thank you.

What a massive change! That £10 was an apology - the best you can hope for at the moment.

Calling her out on her behaviour and then walking away when she started ranting was such a strong thing to do - well done!

Keep it up and she may start to respect and value you.