Dig money?

Pooky

Our youngest daughter earns a similar amount (depending on shifts) and pays £200 towards the household. That £200 goes into the bills account as she is a working adult living in our house so she needs to pay towards the upkeep/bills. If she earns over £1000 and her boyfriend has stayed over for a few weekends then she will pop an extra £50 in the account.....that was her idea as she knows just how much he eats!

I provide the basics, the shampoos the toiletries the washing powder and do a weekly food shop but if she wants a shampoo that's £7 instead of the 70p one I buy then she can spend her money as she wants. She's expected to do her own laundry, cook once a week and generally help out with housework as and when she can. The division of labour would be split more equally if I worked outside of the home but as I'm here during the day, I clean and tidy between bits of work.

We suggested when she started work that she save a regular amount each month towards her car costs and towards a "moving fund" for the future. We brought her a first basic car and taxed/insured it for the first year so that she could get to work and back and she's already squirrelled away enough for insurance, a lump for a holiday and has the start of her moving out fund. She doesn't aim to move out until she can put down a decent deposit and we'll happily have her home until she can afford it.....as long as she pays her way.

It's not about making money from your children, it's about teaching them that monthly budgeting is a necessary evil. There's no point asking them to contribute £20 a month as it teaches them nothing. We sat down with the costs of running the house/mortgage/repairs/everyday bills and talked it through and asked her what she felt would be a fair and decent contribution.

Responsibility is a lesson best learned young.

annandale

To be fair, the OPs grandson is being asked to pay twice what your daughter is and he earns less.

Jackieboy

Pollycat wrote: »

Out of my 'half' I had to pay for my own bus fares and my own lunches as well as buy my own clothes and pay for going out.

Well yes - didn't we all?

Jackieboy

annandale wrote: »

To be fair, the OPs grandson is being asked to pay twice what your daughter is and he earns less.

But he lives in a family which relies on benefits so obviously you'd expect him to pay more.

Robisere

A similar situation, with some differences, but the "Times" mean nothing, weighed against the facts of running a household. Prices and wages go up (almost) together. I left the Army, was ejected from a relationship and a family in the late 70's and went back to live with my parents, who were both 40 when I was born. They were both then in their 70's and becoming ill, each had a problem and I wound up as a Carer before that was recognised. I had a good job actually very close to home with a great boss, who made me Manager of his garage.

Even for the times, the wages were good but not great. I was on £480 a month and I paid £35 a month into my parents' joint account. That represents 35% of my wages. I also shopped, washed, ironed, ran the household accounts and paid bills. I bought all my own clothes and domestic items such as bathing and washing items, but my own food was included with parents' food, which was basically the same. I was scrupulous in showing expenses and accounts to my two married brothers.

Admittedly, I was a man in his early 30's at the time, as opposed to a young man setting out in life. However, I had something going for me that a lot of young people today do not have: I knew the value of money. How is this young man going to be prepared for life if and when he marries, if he has no idea of the cost of living?

I suggest, especially in view of his parents' financial position, that he contributes at least £250, amd helps out in the home. Showing him some domestic shopping bills might also help.

I recall a magazine item, can't remember which mag, from many years ago:
A young man had set up home in his own flat. His mum came round to see how he was doing after a couple of months, giving him time and space to work it all out for himself. Sitting down to a coffee with her son, she asked how he found life in his own place and was rewarded with a long, continual moan about the price of utilities, food etc. She stopped him after a while and said "Yes I know, your dad and I have been dealing with stuff like that for years." "Yes mum," said th elad "But you live at HOME!"

I think every parent of a young adult, will know the meaning of that!

bertiewhite

I used to pay a third of my wages to my Mum & Dad

mumps

svain wrote: »

i also dont think saving for them teaches them anything and opens up temptation to dip/spend the money for some parents who may not be as reliable.... however to be able to give a lump sum back back to them because the parent has saved up the "keep" money over the years is a nice thing to do

Yes it is nice, I would never disagree with that but it certainly doesn't teach them anything.

svain

mumps wrote: »

Yes it is nice, I would never disagree with that but it certainly doesn't teach them anything.

No it doesnt .... but decisions/gestures dont always have to be about a life lesson

lobbyludd

Realistically they can charge what they want - it's presumably their home first and foremost, he's an adult and can strike out on his own if he feels it's too much? He's not being forced to pay it, he can leave - and to seek to negotiate an entirely unrealistic £100 a month seems like he lacks an understanding of the cost of living.

when I was earning around £900 per month I was living in shared accommodation and had way less than £500 disposable income per month, and no-one else doing the washing for me or providing my lunch. Whilst some parents will choose to charge a nominal amount - that is entirely up to them, and doesn't mean that others should have to, or should be made to feel bad for treating him as the adult he is (21).

it's not just share of rent/mortgage, water, gas/electric, telephone, TV license, council tax, insurance, food, cleaning products etc. It's also wear and tear on the fixtures and furnishings, things that the parents have to replace if they break, or fix, and an acknowledgement that they have less personal space due to another adult living there. Why shouldn't he pay an equal share of the costs of the home, even where his being there doesn't increase those costs (water etc)?

Torry_Quine

This always divide opinion whenever its discussed. Traditionally its a third for board, leaving a third to spend and a third to save.